Building A Bond
by RiskingOurHearts
Summary: Just how do you try and build a friendship with your fathers girlfriend? No angst in this one, maybe a little argument, but nothing that can't be cleared up quickly. Plenty of heart to hearts and lovely girly things between Kate and Alexis. Please read authors note! *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**A.N – This will be Kate and Alexis centred, but I had to do this with the first chapter (you'll see what I mean) to set it up…. it's just a small piece to begin with to see if it would be worth continuing, I have lots of ideas of where to take this, so let me know if you'd like to see more. Or if there is anything in particular you'd like to read between Kate and Alexis?… just drop me a line : )**

**I promise no angst in this one! Maybe a little row here and their, but nothing heavy!**

**I wrote this, because quite honestly? I'm slightly peeved that we haven't seen Kate and Alexis together, except for about 5 seconds in 'probable cause' (which was, by the way… A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!) **

**Disclaimer – I do not now, nor will I ever own Castle! *sighs***

This was the first night since Rick and Kate had been together that they were sharing a dinner with his mother and daughter. They both thought it was a nice way to introduce each other officially now their relationship status had changed. Of course Martha and Alexis knew about the development, but neither had actually sat down with them both as a _family. _

Dinner and movies with ice cream sounded wonderful to Kate, but secretly she was a little nervous about the gathering; it wasn't Martha she was worried about, not at all, it was Alexis, the apple of Castle's eye. A sweet and innocent young, mature beyond her years teenage girl who wouldn't want to hurt a fly.

Kate could have laughed at herself and the nerves she was feeling as she drove over to Castle's loft, she took down some of New York's hardest criminals, yet here she was, feeling slightly shaky at meeting with a teenager. Not just any teenager she reminded herself; this was Castle's teenager.

She shrugged away the nerves as best she could and put on her best poker face as she knocked on Castle's door and was let in by Martha; who greeted her with a warm hug and 'it's so good to see you' speech, as dramatic as ever in true Martha fashion. She waltzed away to the kitchen and poured each of them a glass of red wine. _A large glass _Kate noticed, but was thankful for it.

She was stood in between the living room and kitchen, usually she would make herself at home, not bothering about starting dinner alone or making coffee, she's even wandered around the loft in just Castle's shirt.

Right now though, she felt awkward, all the times she had been here before they were alone, but now the whole family was situated in the kitchen, Martha animatedly telling one of her stories from her acting days; red wine in hand. Rick stood over the counter preparing what looked like chicken, a bottle of beer resting close by. Alexis was, _oh, not their. Ok. _

Rick noticed Kate stood frozen and offered her over, pulling out a stool for her to sit down.

She smiled gratefully and he leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek, and just at that moment, Alexis appeared, slowly walking down the stairs observing everything.

Ricks face lit up as he looked over Kate's head to greet his daughter, "hello lovely daughter of mine, nice of you to join us" he said jokingly, but Alexis' expression showed that she wasn't really appreciative of the sarcasm, nor was she in a mood for jokes.

She walked around to where rick was stood and squeezed his shoulder, "need any help?" she asked, trying to divert his attention to the cooking and away from her mood.

Her mood wasn't snappy or agitated, it wasn't even anger, it was just passive. She wasn't one for being in moods; only every now and again when a project got too much or she had had a long day at the morgue.

Rick passed it off as one of the fore mentioned and carried on with his culinary skills, showing off every now and again as Castle likes to do.

Alexis was in a deep conversation with Martha about school work, and Kate couldn't help but wonder if it was on purpose; so she didn't have to make conversation, Alexis hadn't said one word to Kate, and she hadn't given Kate the chance to speak.

She wanted to break the ice between them, but she also didn't want to interrupt the two women, so she just sat, looking to her wine glass, growing ever more uncomfortable; waiting for a pause in the conversation so that she could join in.

That pause never came though, as soon as Alexis was finished with Martha, she was off to set the table, making sure to avoid Kate's side of the counter.

Rick had sensed the awkwardness between his daughter and Kate and he looked over to her with an apologetic look.

She looked up as she felt ricks gaze on her, accepting his silent apology with a small smile.

Martha witnessed the interaction between the two of them, and she was mesmerised by how they could communicate without a single word, it really was something incredible to witness; she had watched them have entire conversations with just their eyes and facial expressions and it never got old to watch. Granted, she had no idea what they were _saying, _but she loved it anyway, and was extremely happy that they had both eventually figured everything out between them.

_Alexis just needed some warming up. _Martha thought to herself, having noticed the tension in the room could be cut with a knife.

Although Kate had a mean poker face and was good at covering up how uncomfortable she actually felt, Martha spotted it and made a bee line for Kate, starting conversation about anything and everything, trying to make her feel less uncomfortable, she knew this relationship was for keeps and the last thing she wanted was for Kate to feel pushed out. Unwelcome.

"You know," Martha started, speaking softly and placing a hand on Kates shoulder, "she'll come round, just give her time. It's a lot for her to take in."

Kate nodded her head in response and completely understood how Alexis must be feeling, especially since Kate herself only had her father to rely on when she was Alexis' age.

Her father hadn't had another relationship since her mum had passed, but she knew if he did she wouldn't be happy about it, she'd accept it eventually but the stubborn side of her would make things awkward at first, maybe not now that she's older, but she certainly would have done in her younger years.

So yes, she understood Alexis, and her being stubborn and awkward. What she didn't understand was the lack of questions? She was almost certain that their would be a few awkward questions with a bit of attitude to get out of the way, but she wasn't at all expecting the silent treatment.

She knew that she would have to let Alexis come around in her own time, but she also wanted to make the girl feel less threatened? Less Worried? Less jealous maybe?

_But how? _Kate wondered to herself as they all settled at the table.

Building a bond and earning back Alexis' trust wasn't going to be an easy task and Kate knew that from the start, but she knew it would definitely be worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N – wow! I'm amazed at the feedback for this story, it's great to know that so many of you wanted to read something like this : ) a couple of you expressed your opinions on what you'd like to see and not see… I'm grateful for that and I hope I manage to get it right. As usual, I would love to know what you think. **

**I don't know how long this will be, I don't plan my ideas down, I just go with the flow and stop when I think people have had enough!**

**Disclaimer – nothing belongs to me, except the typos, they're mine! **

**Hope you enjoy chapter 2…. **

Alexis didn't know what to feel, she loved the thought of her father being happy; he deserves it, especially after all of the heartbreak he's been through. Ironically, it was Kate who was responsible for a lot of that heartbreak.

She wasn't jealous of Kate; and she never would be. She actually respected her a lot, and having her around; a strong independent woman to look up to, was quite appealing to Alexis.

What she was worried about was if Kate left her father heartbroken again, more than that, if she left altogether and they were to never to see each other again, it would destroy her father, and she couldn't watch that happen, not again.

And although Alexis wouldn't admit it, not yet anyway, she was worried about getting too attached to Kate and having her own heart broken too. Every woman her father has been in a serious relationship with has left; including her own mother, what was stopping Kate doing the same?

She was actually looking forward to the family dinner tonight, she actually thought it would be a nice thing for them all to do together, especially as her father has been busy at the precinct and she at college. So it was a great opportunity for her to spend some quality time with her father, and if that means Kate too, then so be it.

She was nervous however, really nervous infact, and she didn't know why, she knew Kate, and they'd shared brief conversations. But this was more… intimate? Introducing her to what the future held.

She really hadn't meant to avoid Kate, or brush her off, she actually wanted to talk to her; get things out in the open and put it behind them, build up some trust again. She felt slightly awkward if she was honest, so she just went for the next best thing; ignore the problem. Not that Kate was the problem; it was her feelings that were the problem.

Alexis thought that ignoring Kate was the best way to go, she knew Kate could read body language quite well, so she hid her feelings away somewhere deep and tried to keep busy; successfully avoiding Kate in the process.

Dinner was nice, more than nice actually; it was lovely. Castle always loved to cook, and he made sure to put on a feast when Alexis was home, she was sure he did it just to make sure she had some decent food to take away with her; he'd pack containers up and freeze them for when she was ready to leave for the week.

Alexis stayed quiet during dinner, taking everything in and listening to odd stories from the adults pasts, she knew most of her fathers and a lot of her grams, but had never heard any of Kate's, her ears pricked up when Kate began a tale of her younger days at college and what she got up to, the look on her Father's face was priceless, and he nearly choked on the mouthful of wine he had just taken.

Alexis smiled at that; she knew exactly what he was thinking '_my daughter is at college. I hope she doesn't do anything like that.' _

The atmosphere around the table was lightening up slightly; thanks to her dad's 9 year old behaviour, which she was glad of really.

She knew it was her fault the atmosphere was so tense, so when her father asked her about college and what it was like, she told him all about it; the classes she was taking, the friends she had made, the activities she was doing; in college and out. She cracked a joke about how many _oh so lovely lads_ were staying in her building, and as she anticipated, her father's reaction was hilarious. She regretted it soon after though when her dad joked about giving her a year's supply of condoms and didn't want to be a grandfather anytime soon, her face went through several shades of red before Kate jabbed him in the ribs, warning him to shut up.

After the first initial awkwardness dinner ended up being quite enjoyable; Martha made her excuses to leave once the meal was finished "I have a date with a very lovely gentleman so don't wait up" she said with a wink as she effortlessly floated out of the loft, leaving behind a scent of musky perfume and the jingling of jewellery as she shut the door.

Alexis got up to clear away the plates and made her way to the kitchen, emptying the leftovers in the bin and placing them in the dish washer, as she was bent over placing the last of the dishes inside, she felt a hand on her back. She quickly jumped up; a bit surprised that she hadn't had a warning that someone was stood behind her.

"You okay?" Rick asked softly, noticing she hadn't been her quite herself tonight.

"Yea, I'm good" she said with a flat tone, her voice betraying what her face was trying to say.

Castle grabbed three tubs of ice cream from the freezer and three spoons from the drawer before making his way back to the lounge where he and Kate had now moved too.

"We'll finish this up tomorrow" he said, using his head to motion around at the mess. "Come and join us for a movie, you can choose" he said excitedly, knowing Alexis loved movie nights camped out under blankets and pillows.

She made her way to follow her father, but stopped as she reached the living room door; noticing Kate sat in what was usually her spot.

Kate noticed the look of hesitancy on the young girls face "hey, you wanna sit here instead?" she asked with a genuine smile as she made way to move for Alexis.

"I… um… actually… I have some work to finish, so I'll leave you guys to it" she said sweetly as she stuttered slightly, making her way to the stairs.

Truth be told, she did have work to finish, although it could have waited until tomorrow, but she didn't want to impose on her father and Kate having time together; she knew it was silly really, especially as she lives at the loft, (well used to) but even still, she didn't want to intrude.

Just as she got to the stairs she heard a voice calling her name softly from behind "Alexis?" it was Kate, "do you really have work to finish?" she asked. Alexis shrugged her shoulders in response, "well yea, but not really!" came her reply, which was infact the truth.

"I'm guessing your choices of films are a lot better than your dad's?" she said, trying to be cool, Alexis grinned slightly, not at the comment, but for how hard Kate was trying with her.

Kate took the grin as her answer "I'd probably enjoy a chick flick to a horror," she said with a tone as close to a whisper, knowing Rick would whine and pout like a 9 year old if he heard them planning on watching a girly movie to a bloody horror.

Alexis looked down briefly as if she was thinking about it. _Kate was trying right? So I should too. _

"OK" she said quietly, and then made her way to the living room.

She reached for the remote in her father's hand, quickly taking it before he could pull it back.

"Hey… I was goin…"

Alexis cut him off before he could finish his sentence, "I get to choose remember?" she said as she went about picking a DVD.

"And it's two against one." She said as a sly little smile reached her lips, quickly glancing back to where Kate was sat next to her dad, and noticing that she had moved to the other end of the couch.

"Fiiiine…" he huffed, "but I get to choose next time"

"Shut up and eat your ice-cream" she said playfully as she came and sat next to her father.

Kate chuckled at the scene playing out before her; "ever the 9 year old, castle" she said, and to her surprise, he kissed her cheek quickly, whispering "you love it really."

She didn't reply; she didn't think it would be appropriate with Alexis in the room, considering how the evening had started full of tension and awkwardness; she didn't want to ruin the nice atmosphere they had managed to create.

Rick sat in the middle, one arm around Alexis on his left and Kate snuggled into his right, he glanced at Kate quickly who was smiling up at him, he squeezed Kate's hand gently and placed a kiss on top of Alexis' head as the movie started.

_One baby step at a time, _Kate thought as she snuggled subtly closer to Castle, and that was enough for now.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N Thanks for all the great feedback for chapter two; this fan base is just the best, seriously : ) 'the final frontier' looks like a hilarious episode – I can't wait! **

**As always I would love to know what you think? Anything you'd like to see? Just type a few words in that little box below!**

**I've tried not to overdo Kate's speech to Alexis; I hope it comes across as light; that's how I intended it to be anyway!**

**Disclaimer – I don't own them, but if I did, I wouldn't be here writing this, I'd be on set, dancing around with Stana and eating M and M's!**

Kate was having trouble sleeping; her mind just wouldn't shut off; Alexis being her only thought.

She even had to stop Castle and his roaming hands earlier on because she was thinking of Alexis, as much as she delighted in Castle's attention; doing things like _that_ with his daughter in her mind was just out of the question, definitely too weird. And explaining to Castle her reason for not being in _the mood_, stopped his attempts at seducing her instantly.

It was nearing six am, and usually on a Saturday morning when she wasn't on call, she would relish being able to sleep in; not having to be up at a ridiculous hour because a body had been found.

But here she lay, trying to get comfortable, and trying not to move as much as possible so she didn't wake Rick.

She let out a long sigh and made her way out of the bedroom, tiptoeing lightly and opening the door slowly so it didn't creak.

What she wasn't expecting upon her entrance to the kitchen was a tired looking Alexis, a pink dressing gown with white spots draped around her; two sizes too big, Nursing what looked like a hot chocolate, or cocoa, she wasn't really sure which, not that it mattered anyway.

Kate made herself known with a whispered "hey," so she didn't make the young girl jump.

She briefly wondered how this situation might play out; how awkward it might be for the two of them, being alone together is something neither of them had experienced since her and Rick had gotten together.

_It's not a big deal, just act cool. _She thought to herself.

"Couldn't sleep either? Huh?" she spoke softly as she made her way to make a coffee, she was up now, and she knew she wouldn't be going back to sleep. Once Kate was awake, she was up for the day.

"hmmm" came Alexis' reply with a shrug of her shoulders, clearly unimpressed that she was awake at such an early hour on a Saturday.

"How long have you been up?" Kate asked.

_Idle chit chat. That's a good way to go. _Kate thought momentarily.

"Since five" Alexis sighed, "how about you? Been awake long?"

"About the same" Kate answered, "want a coffee?" she asked as she got a cup from the cupboard and turned on the coffee machine.

Alexis smiled and passed Kate her cup, giving her preference of how she liked it. Just the same as Kate liked hers, she made a mental note for future reference and passed Alexis her cup, now filled with coffee, the smell a welcome scent to Kate's nose as it lingered throughout the kitchen.

Alexis thanked Kate with a grateful smile, then was silent, she didn't really know what to say; Kate was feeling the same, the atmosphere had once again become awkward between the two of them, the tension of things left unsaid was obvious, so Kate took the bull by the horns and jumped in at the deep end; head first. _Get it over and done with, no time like the present, s_he thought, as she took a deep breath to steady her voice.

"What's on your mind? Is their anything you'd like to talk to me about?"

_Oh thank god. _Alexis thought as she heard Kate's questions; thankful that she had asked, Alexis knew this moment would come, and she was grateful for Kate's boldness, if it was left up to Alexis, she would probably never voice her concerns.

Alexis may come across as timid, but she would always have her say and say exactly what she was feeling, but somehow with Kate, it didn't feel right, like she shouldn't really be asking these questions at all, like she should just let Kate and her father get on with it, but deep down Alexis knew that she needed the peace of mind, confirmation almost, that her dad would be happy and looked after while she was away, and wouldn't get his heart broken_ again_.

The question was there, floating around in Alexis' head, now she just had to figure out how to answer it, how to say what she needed to without causing any upset or ill feelings.

Kate could see the inner battle Alexis was struggling with, it was written all over her face, her eyes said it all. _What is it with the Castles, and their eyes saying everything they couldn't voice? _She thought to herself, although thankful for it; a lot of the things _said _in the past between her and Rick had been done so through eye contact alone.

"Say what you need to Alexis, your feelings are important too, you know?" Kate spoke in almost a whisper, offering the young girl a little piece of support, knowing this would be a hard conversation for the teenager to start up.

Alexis took in a deep breath, "I'm just concerned for my dad, you know?"

_Bingo. _

Kate knew what this was about; she just needed to hear the words from Alexis' mouth, she had played out this moment a dozen times in her head, and imagined the different scenarios and outcomes, practiced the speech more times than she cares to remember. No, not a speech, it was the truth.

Instead of making the girl feel uncomfortable and have her asking the questions, Kate decided to take the lead, have the control.

"I don't know how much your dad has told you, so I won't go into details" she started, wrapping her hands tightly around the coffee mug that sat in front of her.

"Me and your father have hurt each other in the past, badly. We've both done things, and said things we shouldn't have, if I could turn back the clock I would, I'd do so many things differently" she took a sip of her coffee, enabling her a few seconds to think about what she was going to say next, all the while, Alexis kept her gaze on Kates; almost like she had grown a second nose, she couldn't quite believe Kate could read her so easily.

Although Alexis was slightly taken aback by Kate's words, she was taking it all in, letting it sink in to ease some of her worries.

"I don't want to ever hurt your dad, and I'm not saying we won't ever fight, because we will, we'll have our rough patches, just like every relationship, but Alexis?" Kate spoke softly, looking directly into Alexis' eyes, making sure she had her full attention.

"This is it for me," she motioned with her hand to Alexis, towards the bedroom where Rick was sleeping, and then upstairs to where Martha was, well _should, _be asleep, "this is where I want to spend the rest of my life, and I can promise you, I've never been so sure about anything before." She lowered her voice for the part she was going to say next, _if _castle was to hear, she was sure his ego would blow up. "He's my one and done" she whispered.

Alexis was dumbstruck, Kate had pretty much just ironed out most of her worries in a matter of minutes, and what was she to say to that?

Before Alexis knew what to say, Kate spoke again, "I know there is a trust issue right now" she said waving her hand between her and Alexis, "but give it some time, and I _will_ prove myself to you" Kate finished with a small smile.

_Wow. _

Alexis was pretty sure that Kate could read her mind.

Words had left Alexis completely; she had no idea what to say, so she settled for a slight nod of the head and a small smile.

A short while passed where they were both silent, taking time to drink there rapidly cooling coffee.

"Thanks" Alexis said shyly, putting her now empty cup down in front of her on the counter.

Kate nodded her head, "no problem."

She got up to place her cup in the sink, then made her way round to Alexis' side of the island, squeezing her shoulder as she passed, "you know where I am" Kate said quietly as she made her way back to the bedroom.

Sleep definitely _not _on the top of the list of things to _do _right now.

Alexis smiled at Kate's retreating figure, before making her own way back to bed. She could squeeze in a couple hours of sleep, and still be up and ready by mid-morning.

There were still things that Alexis wanted to say, or more importantly, needed to hear, but her biggest fear had been squashed slightly this morning, she'd still worry, and from time to time may need reminding, but that was just her personality; she was a worrier, who carried the weight of the world on her shoulders without really needing too.

The rest of her worries however, could wait, for now.


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N – I started this chapter with complete innocence. Honest! **

**Rick and Kate had ideas of their own for this chapter, so I just rolled with it…. **

**Thank you for your reviews for the last chapter; I've taken in your ideas, so fear not, we will get Kate and Alexis alone very soon : )**

**Disclaimer – If I owned Castle, fans would have been allowed to film the USC event!**

"We should get up and get ready if we're going out for lunch." Kate spoke as she lay wrapped around Castle.

"What time is it?" he mumbled sleepily, being up early when he didn't have to be was something Castle never was fond of, but being woken up like _that, _by Kate, was definitely something he could get used to, regardless of the time!

"Nearly eleven" she replied as she attempted to untangle herself from Rick.

"Wow, time flies when you're having fun" he said with a smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows, moving to wrap his arms around her waist to pull her back down on top of him.

She swatted his chest lightly and removed his arms from round her waist, earning a pout from him; so very typically Castle.

"I'm going for a shower," she spoke as she made her way to the ensuite bathroom. Before she walked through the door, she turned around slowly, a slight blush creeping up to her cheeks as she noticed Castle's eyes admiring her curves.

He loved how open and relaxed she was around him, he enjoyed seeing this vulnerable side of her, and he thought he'd never get used to having Kate Beckett walking around in not a stitch, and he loved it even more when she blushed, he thought it was cute.

"And I'm going to need someone to wash my back" she said suggestively as she slowly disappeared out of sight.

He didn't need telling twice, as always, he was extremely enthusiastic to help Kate; especially when she was naked, and wet, and….. Castle's thoughts ran away with him before he even made it to the bathroom, _she is definitely going to be the death of me; but man, what a way to go, _He thought, as he made his way to Kate a few moments later.

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Kate was the first to leave the bedroom, not that Castle was impressed, he would have been quite happy staying there all day. Forever probably!

But with the mention of his daughter being up, Castle (albeit reluctantly) stopped trying to get Kate back into bed and let her go.

"Morning Alexis" Kate started, then corrected herself as she noticed the time, "well, actually, good afternoon" she said with a smile.

Alexis smiled in return and shook her head slightly as she sat at the kitchen counter, textbooks and papers sprawled out in front of her.

"I put the coffee machine on earlier, would you like one?" she asked as she got up from where she was sat.

"Um, yea, that would be great thanks," Kate said, eyeing up the books on the counter.

Alexis busied herself with making three coffees; knowing her dad would be joining them shortly.

She briefly thought back to earlier in the morning, when it was Kate making the coffee, and how the roles had reversed. Having that little chat had felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and from Kates relaxed look, she knew she felt the same way.

Maybe having Kate around wasn't going to be a problem, it could end up being quite fun actually, although setting some ground rules about what she does and doesn't want to see or hear, was something she would have to put forward, she hadn't actually seen or heard anything, but semi-living with a couple desperately in love and besotted with each other was just asking for a good few years in therapy!

Kate hadn't moved in yet, but she might aswell have, she was their practically every night, and she was pretty sure it wouldn't be long before her father asked her to move in.

"Can you spare a few hours away from your work to join us for lunch this afternoon?" Kate asked as she motioned to the pile of books in front of her.

Alexis' head shot up at the speed of light, and a huge smile crossed her face, she was a little surprised that Kate had asked her to join them, her father's girlfriends in the past were never usually interested in Alexis, and they wanted to keep Rick for themselves, they were more interested in the fame and fortune than a family. And her mother? Well, she just made an appearance when she felt like it, and it usually benefitted her, rather than Alexis.

"Yea, that would be nice. Thanks Kate."

"No problem, like I said, you matter too," Kate replied with a big smile of her own.

"I can smell coffee" Rick said in a sing song voice as he made his appearance.

"Alexis, you're coming with us for lunch right?" he asked as he picked up his coffee, and gave Kate a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Yea, me and Kate have just spoken about it" she said as she looked at Kate with a grin.

"Good, that's good, you two ready to leave in twenty minutes?" he asked as he looked to both Kate then Alexis.

Both of them nodded their heads in unison in answer to his question.

Kate had told him earlier about the conversation she and Alexis had had, not the _whole _conversation of course, but the most of it. Castle was more than pleased that Kate had taken it upon herself to speak to his daughter about her worries, and he was relieved that the awkward atmosphere around them had fizzled out.

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"Oh come on dad," Alexis pleaded, "what's the worst that could happen?"

"After last time, I'm not so sure" he replied.

They were sat around the table at a small restaurant, cosy and familiar, not far from the loft, Alexis had asked to go to a party that evening, one of her friends was celebrating the end of their first term, and he was currently arguing his point as to why Alexis couldn't go.

"You know," Alexis started in a sly tone, "I could just go back to dorms to get my _work _done," knowing full well her father knew she would just end up going to the party anyway.

"How about this?" Kate joined in, placing a hand on Rick's leg and squeezing gently, (as if to say 'sorry if I over rule you here') "you go to the party, but I take you and pick you up, two AM curfew?"

Kate hesitated to join in the debate; she considered if she was over stepping the line, but also knew Alexis would appreciate her siding with her, Kate knew all too well what it was like missing out on the party of the year, her dad being just as over protective as Rick was now, and she didn't want Alexis sneaking out, just like she had done when she was younger.

Both sets of eyes were immediately on Kate, Alexis' with a look of complete surprise, and Ricks full of love and awe that she would offer to do such a thing.

"Are you sure?" Rick asked.

"You'd do that?" Alexis asked, trying not to sound too surprised.

Both Castle and Alexis spoke at the same time; Kate didn't know who to look at first.

"I'm sure" Kate said simply, looking to Alexis first, who gave her a grateful smile, and then to Rick, who placed his hand on top of hers on his leg and laced their fingers together.

They ate in contented silence for a few minutes before Rick spoke again, "just don't get into the same state as last time, remember how bad you were after your graduation?" his voice filled with worry.

_How did I become the 'uncool' dad, _he thought quickly, then banished it; if Kate was the one being cool right now, he was ok with that, it may just give their relationship a push in the right direction, even if he did feel like he was being ganged up on a little bit.

"She'll be fine Rick, relax" Kate said as she winked in Alexis direction.

"Yea, I have to learn from my own mistakes, not yours" Alexis spoke next with a smirk covering her face, her comment causing a chuckle from Kate; her mind instantly pulling images of Rick riding around the city on a police horse, naked.

"Alright, alright," Rick started, holding his hands out in front of himself in mock surrender, "just be careful" he finished seriously, "and if you need picking up sooner, just call,"

"I will, although I did try last time, and as I recall, you were, _busy" _she spoke with sarcasm, earning a blush from Kate as her mind went back to their first night together, and the not so romantic morning after.

"Yea, well, erm," it wasn't very often Castle was at a loss for words, but his daughter had just well and truly rendered him speechless.

Kate kept her eyes down towards the table, _let Castle deal with this one, _she thought.

Alexis quickly changed the topic of conversation, noticing how uncomfortable her father and Kate had become. She did however, store that little piece of information away for a later date; knowing she could eventually have some serious fun watching them squirm, she never would have put Kate down as a shy type, and she very rarely saw her father stuck for words. _Interesting, _she thought.

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The afternoon had passed them by quickly; a very enjoyable afternoon they all agreed, and before they knew it, it was nearing seven PM, and Alexis was heading upstairs to get ready.

"Can you take me at eight please?" Alexis asked Kate, who was sat at the kitchen island watching Rick put together some ridiculous concoction of dessert.

"If I'm still alive after trying this," Kate spoke as she motioned to Castle and his creation, "then yea, that's fine, just let me know when you're ready," she finished with a smile.

"Thanks, Kate, and, if you know what's good for you? Stay well away of… well, that!" Alexis said pointing to the mess her dad was making.

"Hey, this is going to be better than a smorlet, I just know it," he whined. "what is it with you two ganging up on me anyway?"

Kate rolled her eyes, and Alexis smirked as she made her way upstairs.

"I'm glad you two have aired out your differences" Castle said seriously to Kate once Alexis was out of ear shot.

Kate smiled as Castle came to her side of the counter and wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in a hug. "Yea, me too" she said quietly into the side of his neck.

"I'm sure she has a lot more to say, but I'm happy with the way things are right now," Kate started as she pulled away from Castle and looked into his eyes.

"I'm more than happy, with everything right now," she finished as she reached for his hand and laced her fingers with his, giving him a shy smile.

"Me too," he said softly, a small smile lacing his own lips, before he kissed her passionately.

Castle was so desperate to ask Kate to move in with him there and then, he knew this was it for him; and he was pretty sure Kate felt the same, he was certain he hadn't felt this way about anyone, ever. This was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with; he wanted to marry Kate; wanted to have children with her one day, and in this moment they shared, he wanted to spill it all to her; but he was sure it was too much, too soon, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her away. He'd let her take the lead with those sort of conversations.

What Castle didn't know was, Kate was having the exact same thoughts; she wanted him to be her one and done, be the father of her children, and grow old together. Have the life people dreamed about, the life that people searched years to find, she found herself counting her blessings for how incredibly lucky she was to have a man like Richard Castle love her so fiercely, despite her flaws; because of her flaws, scars and all; the proof that she fought for her life, for this, right here.

Alexis made her way down stairs once she was ready and took in the scene before her; it was heart melting to watch, her father wrapped around Kate, and vice versa, she hoped one day that she could find love like that. Just from the way they held each other; you could tell that it was overwhelming, that nothing else existed when they were in their moment, together, alone.

She hated to break the two of them apart, but she _did_ have a party to go to, "hey, guys, sorry to interrupt, but I'm, uh, ready" she said sheepishly, looking down at the floor.

They broke away instantly and looked in Alexis' direction, "wow, you look lovely" Kate said as she noticed Alexis wearing a little blue dress, her hair falling over her shoulders, and her make-up subtly done.

"Um…" Castle started, not sure what to think of his daughters dress, which of course, he thought was far too short.

"Yea, you look great," he said as he noticed Kate giving him a glare; one that said, 'she'll be fine, don't worry.' His tone was less than convincing though.

"Dad, what is it?" Alexis asked, noticing her dad's hesitancy.

"It's just, you're growing up, that's all" he replied wistfully, memories of her being four years old, and dressing up in a tutu flooding his brain.

"You ready?" Kate asked, trying to divert Castle's attention away from the place she knew he had gone to in his mind.

Alexis nodded, and then wandered over to give her dad a kiss on the cheek, "I'll call you when I'm ready to come home" she said softly, knowing her dad was having a hard time seeing her dressed up like this and ready to go out, she looked like a young woman; no longer his little girl.

"No later than two," he replied quickly, and then looked at Kate, "want me to join you? Will you be ok?" he questioned.

"Really, Castle? You're asking a homicide detective, who, may I add carries a gun, if she will be ok?"

He shrugged his shoulders and gave her a smile, "ok, ok! Alexis, please be careful."

They both rolled their eyes at him in unison before they turned to leave the loft.

Castle had to do a double take; Alexis never rolled her eyes, he was going to have to have words about this, 'being ganged up on!'

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"I'll pick you up at two, ok?" Kate said as Alexis got out of the car.

"Unless I call you first" she said with a smile.

"Have fun," Kate shouted as Alexis made her way to the house where the party was. Kate waited for Alexis to wave her off before she left; and Kate briefly wondered if she would be doing this in eighteen years' time with her own children.

Kate let herself in with the key Rick had given her when they had first started dating and noticed him lay on the couch, the T.V was on, but he wasn't really watching it.

She slipped off her shoes and joined him, slapping his legs playfully so she could cuddle up next to him.

"She might be growing up, but she'll always be your little girl" Kate said quietly, rubbing circles with her thumb on his chest.

_And we'll have our own one day. _Kate thought.

_Oh, OK._

Having a family of her own was something Kate hadn't really thought about much; well, not until being with Rick anyway, was she really ready to admit this? Was it too soon? Surely it wasn't too soon; they'd been friends for over four year's right? And they knew each other like a married couple.

Before Kate knew what she was saying, it just happened, flew out of her mouth before she could stop it.

"We'll have children together one day, and I know it won't be the same as your first born growing up, but you can still be the 'cool' dad and…."

She didn't get chance to finish what she was saying, because she was stunned by Ricks reaction, he sat up quicker than she had ever seen him move.

"You, What? Children? Really?" he stuttered, and for the second time that day he had been made speechless.

"Well, yea?" she said slowly, "this is it for me, why do you think it took me so long to admit my feelings? I didn't want to rush into anything unless I was certain it was exactly what I wanted," she explained, not that she really needed to, he knew all this already.

"One and done, remember?" she whispered.

His face was a mixture of complete surprise and adoration, this was not what he was expecting tonight, and if he was honest, he wasn't expecting this kind of admission for a long time, he was over the moon about hearing her say it though, and he knew she felt it, but words? From Kate Beckett?

_Wow._

"One and done," he repeated her words back to her, a smile that could light up the room covering his face.

He wrapped his arms around her and they lay back against the couch, an easy silence settling over them for a while, content with being in each other's arms.

_Wow, another step, or five, forward. _Rick thought.

Rick was trying to take in what Kate had just admitted, and Kate? Well, she didn't really know what she was thinking, only that everything she had just said was the truth, and from her heart.

**P.S - I thought this was a good place to end it, it would have been too long otherwise, I think I could have some fun with a drunk Alexis… what do you guys think? Was this chapter too much? Too fluffy? Or just complete drabble?!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N the feedback for this story is amazing, the reviews, follows, favourites – just wow, thank you! **

**I'm not even sure where this chapter came from to be honest; I just know I had fun with it!**

**Let me know what you guys think, I appreciate all your thoughts : ) **

**Disclaimer – Not mine, Andrew Marlowe (AKA- God) is doing an exceptional job; I think I'll leave it to him and his awesomesauce team to do the writing!**

Kate quietly untangled herself from Rick so she didn't disturb him; he was flat out.

After Kate had dropped Alexis off, they had enjoyed a quiet night in together, they watched a movie wrapped up in each other's arms on the sofa, and then made their way to bed.

After Kate's confession earlier in the evening, he wanted, no, he _needed_ to caress her and love her, _show _her exactly how much she meant to him. It was a steady, slow, and passionate act, one you expected from lovers only, physically and emotionally connected, together in love.

She didn't fall asleep afterwards like Rick did; she stayed awake and waited for Alexis' call, which, by two thirty AM hadn't come.

She decided not to wake Rick; he'd only worry and myther. She's probably lost track of time, and can't hear her phone.

Kate made her way to the kitchen and sent a text to Alexis asking if she was ok; to which she had no reply.

She tried calling; she had no answer.

So, she decided to just go and pick her up. She grabbed her gun and keys; a habit she would never kick, and pulled on her jacket as she left the loft.

She sent Alexis another text before she drove off; telling her she was on her way, Kate didn't want Alexis being mad at her for just rocking up without warning, especially as they had been getting on well over the past couple of days.

She pulled up in the same spot she had been at hours earlier, she looked up at the house and started to panic slightly, maybe she should have woke Castle after all.

The house was in darkness, it certainly didn't look like there was a party going on; unless they were having a silent disco – in the dark!

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Back at the loft she had woken Rick and explained the situation, and as she expected, he was worrying; too much judging by the way he couldn't sit still.

She poured them both a stiff drink, and they sat in silence, a worrisome look on both of their faces.

"She is so grounded," Rick said, anger now beginning to take over his worry.

He'd left several voicemails and text messages on Alexis' phone – none of which had gotten a reply.

"You can't ground her, Rick, she doesn't live here anymore," she said softly, regretting her words as soon as she saw the saddened look on his face.

"Why would she lie to me? And let you think you were picking her up?" he asked, a mixture of sadness and disappointment in his voice.

"Because she knew you wouldn't let her leave the house; especially if you knew she was going _out, _out, she's young, she's going to make impulsive decisions, and I bet she hasn't even thought of the consequences," Kate replied, trying to placate him a little, trying to make him understand that Alexis going out isn't the end of the world, and she will most definitely make mistakes; ones that she will learn from. The lying was a step to far though, and that is something Alexis will have to deal with when she eventually arrives home.

"She's underage" he said, trying to justify what Kate had just told him, "how come you're not annoyed at thi-"

His sentence was cut short as he saw the door opening slowly.

"Alexis, its three thirty AM, where the hell ha-" He started, his voiced raised slightly, anger in his tone.

He stopped dead, his previous thought vanished.

She wasn't alone – she was with Ashley. _Ashley? _

_What?_

_Oh!_

_Busted!_

_Crap!_

_This is not going to be nice, _Kate thought to herself as she noticed Alexis jump out of her skin at her father's tone, and visibly paling. "You're still up?" she said sheepishly, looking quickly behind her to where Ashley stood with a stunned expression on his face.

"Of course we're still up, if you want to get away with sneaking in at a ridiculous hour, it may be best not to ask to be picked up" he answered her question sarcastically.

"Rick" Kate whispered, watching as Ashley shifted from foot to foot, not sure what to do with himself.

"And you bought a boy back?" he raised his voice, completely ignoring Kate. Oh, he was _not _impressed.

"It's only Ashley," Alexis replied quietly, taking a step towards her father, "he lost his key, and I said you'd be cool with him staying."

_Lost his key? Huh? _Kate thought, briefly wondering if that was a lie, she, after all, knew all the excuses in the book. Scratch that, she'd written the damn book!

If it was a lie, her facial expressions weren't giving anything away.

"Just let me know where you are next time, and give me the heads up if you'll have a _friend _with you" Rick spoke, his voice still agitated slightly, emphasising the word 'friend,' hoping to whatever god there was up there, he _was _just a friend. An _innocent _friend at that.

"Like you gave me a heads up you mean? I seem to remember not having a choice," she bit back, glancing in quickly to where Kate was sat. As soon as the words had left her mouth, she wanted to put them right back in.

Rick was certainly not getting into this now, not at nearly four AM.

Kate felt the sting of that comment, she did a good job of covering it up though, 'not having a choice' were the only words running around her mind.

"Just… go to bed Alexis. We'll talk about this tomorrow," Rick said, his tone falling flat. Deflated.

Alexis gave Kate and her dad a 'sorry' look before dropping her head, almost in shame.

She reached for Ashley's hand, a 'follow me' gesture, but before she had a chance to get to the first step on the stairs, Rick spoke, "you can sleep in the guest bedroom, Ashley."

Alexis went to protest, but before she could say anything, Rick butted in "this is my house Alexis, you follow my rules."

Before Alexis knew what she was saying, the words came right out of her mouth, she had only had a few drinks tonight, she could feel the effects slightly, but she wasn't drunk, not at all, one of the effects of alcohol, Alexis found out, was that it cut off your brain to mouth filter completely, "I remember you saying it was our house, I suppose when it comes to rules, it's just your house," she said, momentarily shocked at her own attitude.

"I'm the adult here Alexis," Rick replied, he couldn't quite believe he was going to have an argument with his teenage daughter – it was new territory for the both of them.

"You don't act like it half the time."

_Oh!_

She'd done it again, opened her mouth without thinking.

Kate sat there in silence; she couldn't quite believe what she was witnessing. Castle had never asked her advice about a stroppy teenager; she didn't think Alexis could be like this, it was new ground for her too. She wasn't exactly a stroppy teenager, perhaps just one who didn't think before she spoke after she had had a few drinks.

And Ashley? Well, he looked like he wanted the universe to swallow him up!

Alexis held out her hands, knowing to stop before she got herself in the bad books; even more than she already was anyway, "I'm going to bed," '_before I say anymore' _was left unsaid.

"I think that's a good idea," he called out as she made her way upstairs.

Ashley stood frozen on the spot, looking to Castle, then to Alexis, and back again.

"Guest bedroom, Ashley," Kate told him, her voice even. Rick had his head in his hands, and hadn't realised Ashley was still in the room.

She gave Rick a few moments to gather his thoughts before she spoke quietly, getting up and squeezing Ricks shoulders, gently massaging them, "come on, let's go to bed, it's late. We can talk later." She reached around and gently kissed his cheek, taking his hand in hers and leading him to the bedroom.

She was right, it was a little after four AM, and he felt completely wiped out; so he complied, and followed her lead, sleep being the best thing to do for all of them right now.

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Sunday morning soon came around, well, the more respectable hours of Sunday morning anyway.

Kate and Rick were the first up, and considering the events of the early hours, Rick was in quite a good mood; stood over the cooker making pancakes and sipping coffee.

He had shouted Alexis a couple of times, but she had yet to appear.

"Alexis", don't think you're staying in bed all day" he shouted, glancing over at the stairs, his mind willing her to make an entrance.

He let out a huff of annoyance, when, yet again, she wasn't up.

"I'll go," Kate smiled sweetly, she didn't want the atmosphere turning sour, especially as they hadn't been up long, at least let her finish her coffee first!

Kate tapped lightly on Alexis' door; making her presence known, "Alexis?" she called as she opened her door.

_Ok, this could be awkward, _she thought as she stood in the doorway, mouth ajar, slightly shocked at what she saw, but all the while thankful it was she herself who had come to wake Alexis, not Rick.

What she saw was, Alexis and Ashley laying face to face, Ashley's arm draped over Alexis' waist; her head buried in his chest.

Much like how she would find herself waking up with Rick most mornings. Familiar. Comfortable.

_Don't even go there, _Kate told herself, clearing away any unwanted thoughts from her mind.

_Rick's gonna go nuts!_

Not only had she bought a boy back – even if it was Ashley – she had disobeyed her father; ignoring his warning of sleeping separately.

_Definitely make sure Ashley is out of the building before this gets spoken of._

"Alexis?" she said, louder this time, "your dad wants you up, breakfast is ready."

Alexis shifted slightly, turning her head to Kate, a look of horror crossing her features as she registered what was happening.

"Kaaate, hiii," she said slowly.

"Um," Kate didn't know what to say, even if she did, she wouldn't be comfortable saying it, herself and Alexis hadn't established that kind of relationship, not yet.

"Your dad tried calling you," She spoke, her tone relaxed, like nothing was a miss.

Ashley woke then, a stunned expression on his face as he took in the situation. He quickly moved his hand from where it lay and sat up at the speed of light, words failing him as he opened his mouth to speak; not a sound escaping.

"Oh, right, yea," Alexis stuttered, a bright pink blush covering her pale cheeks, she had been caught in bed with a boy, they weren't doing anything; they hadn't done anything except cuddle, _like her father and Kate will believe that, _she thought quickly, letting out a groan at the whole situation.It was completely embarrassing, not to mention Ashley was_ supposed_ to be in the guest bedroom.

"Can you, um, not mention this?" Alexis motioned between herself and Ashley, hesitant to even ask such a thing from Kate; she knew secrets and lies were something that had almost torn them apart. It was only a little white lie, but still, it was a lie. Or a secret, depending on how you looked at it.

Kate nodded her head once, "that's your place, not mine," she said as she left the room.

'_If you don't tell him, I will,' _was left unsaid.

**p.s! Just a quick question, well 2! - I have no clue about American laws, is 21 the legal drinking age? That's the assumption I went on, I apologise if I got it wrong.**

**And is 18 the legal age to do you know what? ;) The reason I ask, is because the ending of this chapter has left it wide open for me to play around with… so many places I could take this! *evil laugh* **


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N - I'm speechless by the feed-back for this story, really, I can't thank you guys enough : D**

**Thank you for answering my question too!**

**This chapter is a lot longer than the others, hope I haven't rambled on! If I have please tell me! also, if you loved it, tell me : ) **

**Disclaimer – still not mine, although I could ask for them for Christmas!**

Alexis sheepishly made her way down the stairs, Ashley following quietly behind her.

She avoided Kate's eye contact and barely acknowledged her, she was clearly embarrassed about the way Kate had found her this morning, and it seems they were back to being awkward.

_Great._

Castle didn't miss the awkward exchange as Alexis came down, of course he didn't, he watched everything, all the time; it was an occupational hazard sometimes.

They both watched as Alexis said goodbye to Ashley, Castle turned away when his daughter gave him a quick kiss. Kate watched on with a slight smile on her face, she was watching two people in love, or at least fall in love.

_Castle has turned me into a mushy mess, _she thought to herself. But she wouldn't change it for the world, and she definitely wouldn't tell him what she had just thought, he'd probably fist pump the air and do a little happy dance. Then he'd never let her forget it; throw out comments here and there, for everyone to hear, she definitely didn't want to lose her credibility as 'bad ass Beckett' at the precinct. No way.

"Morning," Alexis greeted both her father and Kate, not really knowing what to do with herself, last night and this morning being on top of the list of things to talk about, but also having no idea where to start.

They sat around the island eating their breakfast in silence, a heavy tension filling the air.

Alexis had had enough of the silence after a short time, she knew it was her fault that it was there in the first place.

"About last night," she mentioned, looking to her father.

Kate nearly let out a sigh of relief as Alexis spoke, trying to clear the air, but she caught it just in time.

"Yea, about that," Rick replied, "I think you owe us an explanation,"

"Dad? Just let me explain before you go off on one," she replied in defence.

_Off on one? Clearly Alexis had picked up an attitude problem at college; _Kate thought to herself, she was keeping _way_ out of this domestic.

"Firstly, I didn't lie about the party, not like you think I did anyway," she started, studying Ricks face for any sign of agitation, "We _were_ at the house for a while, then everyone decided we should hit the town, make a proper night of it," she continued, still concentrating solely on her dads face.

"I thought I was old enough to make my own decisions, I practically live on my own, so why not, I was going to get a cab back, but lost track of time," she finished.

"You should of text me to let me know what was going on,"

"Would you have allowed me to go out if I had of done?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, you're underage" Rick replied, as if that explained it all.

"Exactly. And half of the guys I went out with are underage," she supplied, trying to justify her going out in the first place, not that it made a difference.

"Did you go out when you were my age?" Alexis asked.

"Yes, you know I did, but that is not my point here; the point is that you didn't tell me about it." This conversation is going to end up going round in circles.

"I knooow, and I've just told you about that," Alexis moaned, "but if you were able to go out when you were my age, then why can't I?" she pleaded. She was a grown up, or she liked to think she was, and she wanted a little bit of freedom.

"Because you're a girl," was his only answer.

Kate nearly choked on her coffee.

_Really, castle? Really?_

"Kate went out when she was my age, and as far as I know, you're definitely not gay," every word was just about laced with sarcasm.

Kate fleetingly thought about that time when Natalie Rhodes was doing research at the precinct, and had asked if he was gay. She had to hide a smirk, from her own reaction at the time more than anything.

Kate looked up from the island; she'd been trying so hard to stay out of it, but now it looked like she had no choice.

Rick was sure he had forgotten how to speak; it wasn't like Alexis to act like this.

"I think what your father is trying to say here," Kate began, glancing over at Rick, before making eye contact with Alexis, "is that, it's a tough world out there, dangerous even, and he worries about you, _A lot_." Kate finished, hoping that she had helped in some way.

Alexis thought for a moment, taking in Kate's words.

"OK, how about this? You let me go out," upon hearing this, Rick began to protest before she had finished, she waved her hands at him,_ telling_ him to hear her out, "but I check in twice, and let you know where I am?"

Compromise, that's good, the grown up way of doing things that weren't entirely to your liking.

_That sounds fair, _Kate thought to herself, looking at Castle and waiting to see what he would reply to that.

"OK," he agreed, just like that. She was, after all, eighteen years old and living away from home, if he didn't agree she would probably just go out anyway. This way she was safer, and it would let _her_ think she was in control, when really, _he_ was.

Kate knew exactly what he had done, and thought it was a pretty smart move. She would have done the same in his situation.

_Wow._

They were on the same page when it came to disciplining his child, that's good to know for the future; they would make a good set of parents, when it came to safety and discipline at least.

Alexis didn't know how to say what she had to next, she looked at Kate; looking for a way out.

Kate knew what Alexis was _asking _of her, but this time she wouldn't bail her out, she had to learn the hard way; it's a good life lesson too, there won't always be someone there to speak for you, sometimes you just have to suck it up and get on with it, no matter how awkward it may be.

Alexis stayed silent for a few more minutes, wondering how she would tell her dad that Ashley didn't actually sleep in the guest bedroom.

_He's gonna go bonkers!_

She wasn't mad at Kate, this was her doing and she knew she had to do it by herself, she thought about not saying anything at all, tell her dad another time, but then she couldn't put that on Kate's shoulders, her knowing the whole time and not telling her father? That would just cause an argument between the two of them; and that wasn't fair.

She decided to spit it out as fast as she could, and hope her dad and Kate would believe what she had to say to defend herself.

"ashleydidn'tstayintheguestroomlastnight ," Alexis admitted, somewhere as close to the speed of light.

Rick looked up from his coffee, not quite catching all that she had said, "say that again, slow enough for humans to understand," he replied, his tone light and joking.

_This would be easier if he was still mad at me, _Alexis thought, she couldn't believe she wished for her dad to be mad at her.

She turned to Kate; a look of 'you're doing the right thing,' was what Alexis saw.

She looked back to her dad, "don't freak out," she started, her voice lower than what it had been all morning, "but Ashley didn't stay in the guestroom last night, he stayed in my bed." There, she said it, it was out.

Rick spat his coffee out, landing all over the newspaper Kate was pretending to read.

_Wonderful!_

A look of horror crossed both their faces. They sat opposite each other with not a clue of what to say next – eyes locked - _both_ speechless, at the same time. That's a first!

_If it wasn't such a touchy subject it would be comical, _Kate thought to herself as she watched the scene unfold.

She actually thought that it wasn't that much of a bad situation, Kate had done much worse at Alexis' age, but from the stunned look on Castle's face he must have thought it was the end of the world. She pulled herself together, trying to control the giggling inner child that Rick's facial expressions always brought out of her, hoping to bring them back from wherever they had gone in their minds, she was pretty sure she knew where Rick had gone; and she also knew it was definitely _not_ good to let him dwell on it for too long.

"Guys?" Kate spoke, looking between the two of them, hoping to get their attention.

Alexis broke first and looked at Kate; Rick however, was still far, far away.

"Dad?"

"Rick?"

He shook his head quickly; getting rid of any thoughts that had planted themselves in his head, absolutely _not_ what he needed to think about.

"So? Ashley stayed in, er, with you?" he gulped, there was no way he was going to say the word bed, however ridiculous and stupid that sounded, he just couldn't.

Alexis- Boy- Bed-Together?

Four words that under no circumstances should ever be said, seen, or heard in his presence. Ever!

"Nothing happened, I swear, I couldn't sleep so we just cuddled, it was all my idea," Alexis said in a rush, hoping her dad would understand.

"If it were too," he cleared his throat, "happen, you would be careful, right?"

Kate expected him to use humour as a way out, she would even understand if he flipped out a little bit, but serious? She wasn't expecting that.

"Dad, we talked about this when I was, what? Fourteen? I'm not stupid." Alexis replied, her tone just as serious, hoping her words would reassure her father.

"I learnt so much," he spoke slowly, in almost a whisper, with a faraway look in his eyes.

_And there was the humour_.

"Besides, I'm pretty sure you don't want to be a granddad anytime soon," she offered with a sly smile; knowing it would get a classic Castle reaction.

"La la la la la la" was what came out of his mouth, his fingers in his ears, shaking his head like a maniac; earning a chuckle from both Kate and Alexis.

Rick had almost forgotten about the fact that Alexis had ignored his rules because of the whole Ashley situation, even though she was honest with him about the entire night/morning, he thought it was right that she was disciplined in some way; even though she didn't technically live with him anymore. Not that he was strict when she did live there, Alexis was usually the one punishing herself.

"Seriously though, Alexis, what you did last night, well today. Whatever. Was disrespectful, don't let it happen again, next time you let me know, or Kate," he started, looking to where Kate was sat, an interested look in her eyes, clearly taking all of this in.

"I won't, I promise, I was stupid and wasn't thinking, it won't happen again," she said, practically grovelling.

Rick nodded his head, "I want my credit card back for a week." He hated punishing her, he always has, but this wasn't just jumping a turn style, or skipping school; which he practically encouraged, this was serious, and if he let her get away with it, who knows what will happen next.

Alexis didn't protest, she knew her father was right, she had done wrong and was now dealing with the consequences.

His writer's imagination got the better of him at thoughts of how wild she could go, especially if she takes after him, even more so after hearing a few stories from Kate's wild child phase.

_Piercings, tattoos, bikers. No. No. No. _he stopped his train of thought and come back to the present.

"If you _need _that new bag, or if you _need _that new pair of shoes, you come to me and I will decide if you _need _it."

Alexis' eyes nearly popped out of her head, since when has he started checking what she spends? And what she spends it on.

"Yea, I've seen the statement" he told her smugly.

"A girl _does _needthose things," she replied, looking to Kate, as if to say 'come on, back me up here.'

"She's right Rick, a girl _definitely _needs things like that," Kate offered, throwing a wink in Alexis' direction.

"Oh, you're ganging up on me again, I see how it is," he spoke mischievously.

"We" Kate started to speak, motioning between herself and Alexis "have to have some fun with you, your reactions are priceless."

"You're far too easy dad." Alexis remarked, just for good measure.

A few humorous remarks later and they were back to normal.

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Rick came out from his study that evening with a look of annoyance on his face; he'd had to leave the movie marathon when his phone rang, to take a call from Gina.

Kate and Alexis both looked up to where he was stood, a raised eyebrow on each of their faces, waiting for him to supply the reason behind his sudden change in mood.

"She wants me to go on a book tour," was all he mumbled.

Neither woman questioned him, they were waiting for him to give them the details.

"On Wednesday, for Three nights." He said regretfully, looking at Kate, knowing she had booked Wednesday and Thursday off work so they could spend some time together, all three of them.

She had booked the two days off last week, wanting to spend some time with Rick _and _Alexis; Rick was the one to suggest it, and she thought it was a great idea, plus she had days stacked up that she needed to use. She never used to bother having days off, only taking them when she was ordered to. But since she has been with Rick, everything had changed. _She _had changed, for the better.

"But dad, it's half term, I thought we were going to spend some time together, I've barely seen you properly since I started college," Alexis protested, she knew her father's work schedule could clash with holidays and breaks, and usually she didn't mind, but since she hasn't been around much since the start of term and quite honestly missed him, she did infact mind this time.

"I know pumpkin, I'm sorry, but I don't really have a choice, Gina was pretty insistent, she threatened to have my head on a silver platter by the weekend if I didn't go," he shook his head, he really couldn't get out of it, and in the industry he worked in, that's just how the cookie crumbled. He'd put off the last two; one when he and Kate had got together; not wanting to be apart, and another over the summer so he could spend time with Alexis before she left.

Kate didn't let her feelings show through, she kept her game face on, this was Ricks work and she understood; she didn't necessarily like it, but she understood.

They'd been together six months and they had barely been apart, just how it is in the first year of a relationship; an invisible bubble around them, wrapped up in each other. When she had spent time alone, she missed him, sleeping without him was just out of the question, the nights she did go home, she'd just end up coming back to the loft at a silly hour because she couldn't sleep without him, his warmth and the security of him being there.

At first she felt foolish, but when Rick came clean about feeling the same way, she didn't feel as ridiculous. Now, it is what it is.

"Three nights," she stated, followed by gently biting her bottom lip, something she did out of habit when she was nervous, extremely flirtatious or deep in thought.

"Three nights," Alexis repeated quietly, noticing Kate's anxious look.

"I'll be back before you know it," he offered with a smile, coming to sit in between them both, putting his arms around each of their shoulders, trying to ease Kate's nerves, and Alexis' disappointment.

"It won't stop you two enjoying yourselves while I'm away," he commented, before adding, "Although, not too much, I dread to think of the conspiracies you will come up with in ways to embarrass me," he grinned, secretly he loved it.

"You do that all by yourself, Rick," Kate assured him, followed by a slight tap to his cheek.

"How can we enjoy ourselves, without your credit card?" Alexis pointed out, a smirk playing across her face.

"You mean, you?" Kate corrected with a grin on her face, not dismissing Ricks suggestion of the two of them spending time together as she looked around Rick to where Alexis was sat. His money is something she has never been interested in, she was brought up to be independent and was taught the value of money, and from her late teens she has always been able to support herself; she doesn't see why that should change just because her partner is a millionaire.

It's something she is going to have to get used to though; he's very generous and enjoys spoiling the people he loves, often.

"OK, here's the deal," he stated, acting seriously, "I'll give you my credit card, as long as you go out and shop till you drop?"

"Deal," Alexis chimed, a big fat smile on her face, Kate wasn't sure if it was because she had the use of her father's credit card once more, or if it was at the idea of the two of them going shopping; she hoped it was the latter.

"Rick, I…" Kate started to object.

"No arguments," he ordered.

She huffed out a sigh, she knew the words 'no arguments' from him meant if she continued to protest, he would go into a full blown speech about why he could afford it, then whine and moan until she gave in anyway, she'd heard it countless times before.

Moments later she felt his eyes on her, she always knew when he was staring, or when he entered a room, it was like she felt his presence; she couldn't explain it.

When she looked at him, the biggest, goofiest grin was plastered across his face. 

He knew he'd won, and the fact that Kate didn't continue her reasoning about not spending his money, meant that they had made a leap forward; in the financial department anyway.

_Man-child, _she thought as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Are you staying here well dads away?" Alexis asked out of nowhere.

Kate was slightly taken aback by Alexis' off the cuff remark, not what she was expecting at all.

"Might aswell," Rick offered coolly.

"I assumed you were, the loft is a big place when everyone is out of town, the company would be nice," Alexis spoke again, a hopeful smile on her face.

"Um, if you're sure? I don't want to-" Kate started hesitantly, only to be cut off by Alexis, "it's fine, we'll have some fun, after all, we do have dads credit card," she said mischievously, giving Kate a wink, then looking innocently at her father.

Truth be told, Kate didn't want to stay at her apartment, she felt cold and lonely there, the complete opposite of what she felt like when she was at the loft.

She smiled gratefully at Alexis, thankful for her foresight to ask about that situation.


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N – here's chapter 7, it took me a while to get this right, so I hope you guys enjoy it! I love reading what you think *hint hint* ; ) **

**Happy Castle Monday : D (does little happy dance)**

**Disclaimer – The characters aren't mine, just the situations I put them in!**

As he promised, Rick spent Monday and Tuesday with Alexis, meaning he wasn't at the precinct; something Kate couldn't get her head around as he was always there, by her side, but understanding his reasons. His daughter needed time with him alone just as she did, and she didn't begrudge him or Alexis that. She never would.

She went to the loft after work on both nights; she spent the evenings with the Castle duo, chatting animatedly with Alexis about college life; avoiding some of her more wild stories, (not wanting to give Alexis any ideas that would more than likely get her arrested) and relaxing in front of the TV, something that most families did all the time. Something she had missed.

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Wednesday morning soon came around, and she had been up since six AM to take Rick to the airport, and as she wasn't going to be seeing him until Saturday, not a lot of sleeping was done the night before! It's safe to say Kate needed coffee and lots of it.

She pulled in to the coffee shop nearest to the loft and picked up two coffees, one for her and one for Alexis; knowing the teenager will appreciate a wakeup call with caffeine.

She entered the loft, balancing the two cups of coffee in one hand; not as much of a challenge as she thought it would be, and was met by the redhead stood by the coffee machine.

Alexis turned around and smiled at Kate, noticing the cups she was carrying, "I've just put the coffee machine on, thought you'd appreciate a caffeine fix when you got home."

_Home. Ok._

"Great minds think alike," Kate spoke, handing Alexis a cup, earning a grateful smile from the teenager.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Alexis spoke, her eyes wide with joy at the prospect of spending some time with Kate.

"We do exactly what your father told us to, and we shop till we drop," Kate replied, giving Alexis a wink and a little smirk.

"He may just regret this, two women out shopping with _his _credit card? That's just asking for bankruptcy!" Alexis quipped.

Alexis noticed the look of hesitancy on Kate's face as she spoke her last comment, she knew Kate wasn't comfortable with spending her father's money; she only said it as a joke and didn't expect Kate to take it too seriously.

"Hey, don't worry, he's good for it, he wants us to spend his money remember?" Alexis reassured Kate, moving past her to make her way upstairs to get ready for the day. As she did; she gave Kate's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"Won't be long," she said, as she left the room.

Kate was left momentarily surprised at Alexis' comments and actions; she knew they were getting along a little better, but she was just a little shocked by how Alexis was acting. She knew full well Alexis was a genuine, caring and smart young girl, but still, it was a different side that Kate was seeing, she wasn't complaining though; she welcomed it more than anything, and would let Alexis take the lead in regards to the progression of their relationship.

Kate didn't want to push things too much, she was happy with the steady pace that things were moving in, she didn't expect Alexis to see her as her mum; she already had one, she wanted to be a friend, someone she could trust, someone to go to if she needed advice or help.

She didn't expect her to love her like she loved her father either; and she certainly didn't expect the trust to build between them any time soon, love and trust takes time and effort, something that Kate Beckett was willing to work at and wait for, no matter how long it took.

"Ready?" Kate asked with a small smile crossing her features as Alexis made her way down the stairs twenty minutes later.

"Ready," Alexis replied as she made her way to grab her boots, and slip them on.

They both left the apartment, checking they had everything they needed, Alexis being the first one out, leaving Kate to lock up.

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The car journey to the shopping centre was quiet, neither not really saying much, but it wasn't an awkward silence like it had been in the past if they were both alone together, it was a comfortable silence.

Alexis was fiddling with the radio, trying to find a decent channel, one in which played the current chart music; _she's definitely her father's daughter, Kate thought. _She had never been one for that type of music, she didn't _not_ enjoy it, but she wouldn't purposefully choose it either.

Her mind briefly wandered to a time when Castle was messing with the radio, and she'd threatened to shoot him; as she did, a small smile played on her face.

Alexis noticed, and before she even thought about if it was rude to ask, she came out with, "you look like you're remembering something nice."

Kate wondered how she would tell Alexis that she threatened to shoot her father because he was messing with the radio, not to mention all the times before _and _after.

_Awkward!_

_Just go with it, _she thought, i_t's not like she did actually shoot him! _Although she was so very close, on so many different occasions.

"Just thinking of the time I wanted to shoot your father, he's such a nine year old at times," Kate said, her tone light, she didn't mention that he was actually changing the channel; she didn't want to make Alexis feel awkward.

"If I had a gun, I'd have shot him years ago," Alexis threw back at Kate, a small laugh escaping as she finished. _Yep, definitely Castle's sense of humour, _Kate thought briefly again.

"But," Alexis started slowly, unsure if she really should say what she was about to, "if I shot him, or if you shot him," she smiled, "we wouldn't be here now."

"Yea, you're right," Kate spoke softly, glancing over to Alexis with a matching smile, one of mutual relief, that they were both glad to be here, like this, together. Not to mention it was thanks to Castle!

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"How about this?" Kate held up a light blue maxi dress, Alexis had mentioned on the drive over that she needed to find a new dress for her date with Ashley tonight. "It's cute," she finished, looking over to Alexis, who was opposite her looking through another rail of dresses.

"It's too casual, I'm looking for sophisticated," Alexis supplied, she was glad Kate was with her for this, her father would probably whine and moan until she walked out of the shop with a dress that was suitable for a woman in her seventies.

"Sophisticated, huh? What's the occasion?" Kate asked, intrigued. Then inwardly kicked herself; unsure if that question was a little too personal, or if she even wanted to know.

Alexis breezed right over the question though; clearly ok with answering Kate, "we've been together three months," she started with a smile, "I know it's only three months, but we thought it was worth celebrating, we only got back together over the summer when I visited the dorms," she finished, a faraway look in her eyes, clearly reliving a fond memory of them getting back together.

"Every relationship has its milestones, no matter how small," Kate replied, a little bewildered that Alexis was sharing this information with her, none of them never did discuss the whole 'when did Ashley return' topic the morning after when Kate found them curled up in bed together.

"Just like you and dad," Alexis said, her tone passive, like it was the norm.

Kate smiled in response, not really sure how to answer, or if the comment needed an answer at all.

"It's obvious you love him, I mean, really love him. I've never seen anything like it before," Alexis threw out easily as she was eyeing up a little black dress. Just like that, out of nowhere.

_Never seen anything like it. Oh!_

Kate blushed slightly, she didn't realise it was _that _obvious, she really was like a love sick teenager.

"I've never felt anything like it," Kate almost whispered, unsure why she was whispering in the first place. What she really wanted to do was shout it from the roof tops for the whole world to hear.

_Geez, she really was a mushed up, loved up mess!_

"I know," Alexis told her confidently. If there was one thing she was certain about, it was that Kate loved her father with such intensity that it was overwhelming to witness, and her dad also loved Kate so fiercely. She knew it would break him completely if it all crumbled between them. It was one thing watching him so completely heartbroken and beside himself the summer she disappeared without a word, but she knew he wouldn't recover if she left him again, especially now that he knew what it was like to actually _be _with Kate. How amazing it could really be.

Moments passed between them as they searched through another lot of dresses, "he wouldn't bounce back this time, you know?" Alexis spoke softly, for Kate's ears only, her voice raw with all the emotion she was remembering from that summer, that hurtful, dreadful summer.

_If you left him, he wouldn't cope._

Kate didn't need to question what Alexis was talking about, she almost expected this topic to come up, rear its ugly head. She was used to reading between the lines when it came to Castle, his daughter was no different.

"He won't have to bounce back, I promise," Kate spoke, stopping what she was doing, giving Alexis her full attention. Her tone was sad; her voice timid as she remembered what had happened that summer, her own stupidity for pushing away the one man she loved – _loves; t_he one man who loves her like no other ever has – scars and all.

_I won't ever leave him, you have to believe me._

"This is just perfect," Alexis said excitedly, holding up a dress in Kate's direction, quickly changing the topic of conversation, clearly happy that Kate had no intentions of hurting her dad, nor did she have any intentions of leaving. One thing she couldn't admit just yet, was what it would do to her if Kate left, how she'd not only been left to pick up the pieces when her father's previous girlfriends had ran out them, but how she had been hurt by their leaving too.

"So, what does Ashley plan on doing for you tonight?" Kate asked, quite happily accepting the change in conversation, and briefly wondering if she should have rephrased that; or whether Castle had wormed his way completely into her way of thinking; he of course being able to throw out innuendo left, right and centre. No matter the occasion.

"He won't tell me," Alexis replied, letting out a slight huff of annoyance, "he just said I need to wear a dress, suitable for an evening of being romanced," she finished.

"That's sweet," Kate offered, although she knew too well how annoying it was when you had to dress for a date with absolutely no clue of where or what you were doing, that's another thing she had to get used to with Castle, his ability to spring things on her at last minute, completely surprise her without warning, and his control of not telling her what they were doing or where they were going, no matter how many times she threatened to shoot him or twist his ear off.

"It's annoying," Alexis replied, as if reading Kate's thoughts on being in this situation.

"I'm sure it will be worth it," Kate told her with a small smile, as she picked up a dress for herself and a pair of boots as they slowly made their way to the checkout, diverting to where the bags were displayed, each picking one that matched their dresses.

Kate had realised that for most of the day, her thoughts had wandered to Castle, and he'd not even been gone for twelve hours. It concerned her that she was even counting the hours.

_She's got it bad!_

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Their day was a success, they had both been kitted out with a new outfit, and Kate had not once worried about how much anything had cost.

They finished up In a little jewellery store, (Alexis decided at the last minute that she wanted a new pair of earrings, her excuse being that they would match her shoes!) before they headed to a coffee shop on their way back to the loft; they both agreed that they didn't have the energy to cook, and Alexis didn't want to spoil her appetite for tonight; pretty sure that their was food involved, so they both opted for something light, Kate could easily rustle something up later, or order in if she got peckish.

They were back at the loft, and as Kate had thought, Alexis looked stunning in the black dress she had bought earlier, and she was right about the earrings!

"He's a lucky guy," Kate told Alexis, looking up to see her walking down the stairs, shoes in hand.

Alexis blushed slightly, "I look ok then?" she asked, coming across to the kitchen island where Kate was sat, checking her emails on her laptop. She never could switch off from work completely.

"You look lovely," Kate said sincerely, getting up to wander round to Alexis, straightening out a few stray hairs from her face.

"Thank you, Kate," Alexis said sweetly, "I'll be back by midnight, I promise," she said seriously. After last time she didn't want to over step the boundaries.

"Have a nice time," Kate called as Alexis made her way to the door; having heard the knock that was presumably Ashley.

"I will," She replied, looking over her shoulder with a beaming smile on her face. And with that she was gone.

All of a sudden Kate felt lost, the apartment quiet, too quiet and too big to be in alone, Alexis was right, it was a lonely place when it was empty. Martha was away for the week with some function for her acting school, and Kate smiled briefly as Castle made a jibe about it probably being a place to drink as much alcohol and eat as much food for free for a week.

She noted the time; it had just turned eight pm, so she decided to run a bath and relax, and then bury herself in one of Rick's books for the evening.

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Her phone rang just after ten pm; making her jump slightly. When she picked it up the caller I.D said 'hot stuff.'

_Since when did he change his name to that? _She thought, a laugh escaping her lips. So typically Castle.

"Hey hot stuff" she said sarcastically down the phone, a grin on her face.

"Hey," he replied, a hearty laugh falling to her ears.

"How did it go today? The shopping?" He clarified.

"Yea, it was nice, great infact," she told him, the memories from the day playing across her mind, "how was your day?" She asked, although she knew his reply.

"Oh you know, crazed fans, time limits, _Paula," _he moaned to her.

"It's hard being you isn't it," she laughed, giving him no sympathy. She knew he secretly loved all the attention, it's just who he is, although she did make it clear that under no circumstances was he ever to sign a woman's chest again; unless it was hers!

Their conversation was light and easy; Kate telling him all about her and Alexis' day, her date tonight, and Castle telling tales of his own day; which of course were completely over the top, this _was_ Castle after all.

There were a few moments of silence, both feeling content in knowing the other one was just _there._

Kate broke the silence and spoke first, "I miss you," her voice full of longing.

"I miss you too," he replied.

"The bed is cold without you," she stated, it was true, she hated him not being there, "I wish you were here," she finished, her tone soft.

"Me too," he replied. They'd only been apart a day, and already they were acting like it had been a week.

"Imagine what we would be like if you were out of town for longer than three days?" she laughed at how stupid they were acting, "we can hardly go a day," she finished, laughing again.

There was another moment of silence; their conversation was almost like they were tip toeing around an elephant in the room. Kate could feel it.

"Move in with me?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

_Oh!_

He'd asked her to move in with him, and without thinking about it, she had said yes, she didn't even need to think about it to be honest, it was the next natural step in their relationship, and she was ready for it, she had been for weeks, maybe even months.

"You don't know how happy this makes me," he said, and she could just imagine the big smile plastered across his face.

"I do, and it makes me just as happy," she replied, the same big smile that was covering his face; covering hers too.


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N – please don't shoot me down for this chapter! We need a **_**bit **_**of drama right? This was one of the first chapters I had spinning around my head for this story; so I just had to put it in, and here felt right. **

**Disclaimer – Andrew Marlowe is doing a great job, he doesn't need me and my crazy ideas!**

**Can I just say - the promo for next week though? Oh. My. Gawwd… Beckett, sort yourself out woman!**

Kate hated going back to work after having some time off, even if it was just a couple of days; even more so if there was no work to be done.

She and Alexis had had a wonderful time together, and bonded more than she ever thought possible, she made a mental note to thank Castle, _really _thank him, for suggesting the shopping trip in the first place; which of course, led to movies, pizza, and just generally having a nice time on Thursday.

It was Friday now and the precinct was quiet; no body had dropped which she was grateful for, and she had mostly caught up on paperwork. Gates was at several different meetings over the next few days, which meant she wasn't breathing down her neck every five minutes, meaning Kate was practically the boss, so she headed home, deciding to take a long lunch, and check in with Alexis while she was at it.

_Home. _She could call it that now, although plans of when she_ would_ move in hadn't been discussed yet; it was still her home too. This information, of course would stay between her and Castle until he was back and they could break the news together.

When she walked in, she expected to hear either music, or the T.V, maybe even see Alexis sat at the kitchen island studying; what she didn't expect was the eary silence.

She slipped off her shoes; the ones with the ridiculously high heels, and left them in the corner by the door before making her way to the coffee machine. Coffee was the only thing keeping her awake; she hadn't slept properly without Rick by her side, she wouldn't admit this to him, but she slept in his shirts just so she could smell his scent. comfor her.

Usually she would run for the hills before a relationship got too serious, she would always keep one foot out of the door just in case it didn't work out; so she didn't feel the burn of being left alone, _again._ But just as everything else with Rick, this relationship was different, she felt it, and she knew it was right. She often imagined a future with him, a life with marriage and children.

She was all in, one hundred and ten percent.

She thought about having a little nap to recharge her batteries for the afternoon ahead, but the sight she saw told her that that wasn't going to happen.

_That's odd, _she thought, as she saw Alexis sat on the sofa, still in her pyjamas with her dressing gown wrapped tightly around her, clutching a tub of ice-cream.

Kate knew it wasn't like Alexis to be sat in her pyjamas at lunch time, she's usually up and dressed at the crack of dawn.

She made her way over to Alexis with coffee cup in hand, and realised as she passed the back of the couch that she was listening to her I-pod, and was engrossed in what looked like a home-made scrap book full of photos.

Alexis _was _indeed sat with a scrap book full of photos, one she'd made herself. It was filled with pictures from when she was a baby, cradled in her mum and dads arms, right the way through to just last week; the most recent memory being a picture of her and Ashley goofing around in the dorms at college.

Alexis had all of these photos on her laptop, but she knew technology was never reliable. She had purposefully made a scrap book to take to college; it was a little comfort for her when she was missing home. Right now though, she was agonising over the photos, wallowing in her sadness.

Kate wondered if she should leave Alexis be, but just looking at her pulled at Kate's heart, her maternal instinct kicking in.

Even though she wasn't her mother, she couldn't just leave her like that. She could barely leave family members of a murder victim who she had no emotional attachment to; so leaving Alexis, who she cared a great deal about, more so after the past couple of days, was out of the question.

Kate sat down quietly next to Alexis so she didn't startle her, as she did, she noticed the photos, the ones that she could see; were of Alexis and her mum, a few of her and Ashley, she looked happy, really happy. The complete opposite to what she looked like now.

Something had clearly happened since when she saw her this morning, saying goodbye as she left for work, and if Kate wasn't mistaken, it had upset her dearly.

Kate knew the only reason for a girl to be sat in her pyjamas in the middle of the afternoon with ice-cream was if it was 'that time of the month,' getting over a break up, or she was just simply heartbroken; and judging by Alexis' look, she would bet it was one of the last two.

Alexis looked up to acknowledge Kate, but didn't say anything; instead she kept flicking through the book, taking a spoonful of ice-cream every now and again.

Kate knew that whatever had happened was sensitive, and much deeper than a break up, so she waited for Alexis to speak; if she even wanted to say anything at all. She knew all too well that questioning and pressuring her to speak wouldn't get her anywhere, she'd talk when she was ready.

Minutes passed, five? Ten? Fifteen? Kate wasn't sure, she made her way to get up, thinking Alexis wanted to be left alone, but to her surprise Alexis grasped her hand softly; effectively pulling her back down.

Alexis took out her headphones, closed the photo album and turned her body so she was facing Kate, feeling slightly hesitant about the situation she found herself in. But right now, her dad and grams was away, and all she wanted to do was unload her heavy heart; if she kept it in any longer it would suffocate her, she knew Kate cared about her, and she had told her in not so many words. '_You're important too,'_ Alexis remembered her speech from that early morning not so long ago.

The pain Kate saw in Alexis' eyes was heart breaking, she saw that Alexis was hurting, badly, and all she wanted to do was wrap her up in a hug, comfort her. However, she stopped herself, and went for a gentle squeeze of her hand; a simple touch that spoke volumes.

Kate was the first to break the silence, "are you okay?" she asked, mentally slapping herself as soon as she had spoken.

_Of course she isn't ok. What a stupid question._

Alexis shrugged in reply; she didn't know how to voice what she was feeling.

Kate asked again, a different approach this time, hoping Alexis would open up to her, she knew more than anyone that keeping it in would eat away at her until she eventually cracked; and most of the time, cracking wasn't a good thing.

"What's on your mind?" she asked with a soft tone, squeezing her hand gently again, letting her know it was O.K, and she could talk if she wanted to.

_You can trust me._

She felt like she was intruding slightly; this was Rick's domain, not hers. But she also thought there was no harm in trying. She wouldn't be offended if Alexis didn't want to talk; after all, the relationship they were building was still so new.

"Me and Ashley broke up," Alexis replied quietly as she looked away from Kate and closed her eyes, trying to stop the emotion escaping.

Kate knew how Alexis was feeling, she'd been through break ups and had her heart broken; more than once. She stopped the memories from coming to the forefront of her mind; Alexis needed her strong and caring, not on another planet wrapped up in memories past. She really did feel for the young girl and what she was going through.

"What happened?" Kate asked, briefly wondering if it was the right thing to say. She really wanted to get this right, make sure Alexis knew she was there for her; willing to listen, and help in any way she could.

"We started seeing each other again a few months ago, we didn't tell anyone because we didn't want people interfering like last time," Alexis started, turning back to look at Kate, knowing she would understand her reasons.

Kate nodded her head in understanding; the first part she knew, and of course, she knew all too well how important keeping a relationship a secret had to be sometimes, she did wonder why she hadn't told her dad though; they shared everything usually, within reason.

"He told me this morning when we went for breakfast," she started, her mind replaying the conversation she had had with him.

"He said he didn't want a serious relationship anymore, not with being at college, he wanted to have some _fun,"_ she told Kate, quoting the word 'fun' with her fingers.

"Which basically means sleeping with anything and everything with a pulse, right?" she said bitterly.

Ok, this was going into awkward territory for Kate now, but she had to be honest; and give her advice based on what she had learnt whilst growing up.

She thought about what she would tell her own daughter one day, if she was in a situation like this.

"If that's the way he thinks, then you're better off without him," she told her honestly, their hands still gripped together.

A single tear fell down Alexis' cheek, she knew Kate was right, but hearing it made it all the more real. She dropped her head, her hair curtaining her face, blocking Kate from seeing her.

Before Kate knew what she had done, the hand that wasn't in Alexis' was rubbing slowly up and down her back; trying to sooth her.

There was silence between them for a short while. Alexis was trying to gather her bearings, and Kate was letting her actions do the _talking._

"I feel like he used me, Kate," Alexis said softly, once she was confident her tears had subsided, for now at least.

"Did you? Um, did you have a physical relationship with him?" Kate asked, somewhat uncomfortably; but not letting it show through, needing confirmation for what she already thought.

Alexis nodded her head in reply to the question. _Yes. _

"It was the first time, for both of us," she almost whispered.

Kate wasn't sure that she should be the one talking like this with Alexis; she wasn't entirely comfortable getting into a _very_ personal conversation with her, but from the look on Alexis' face, who had now managed to raise her head to Kate, it was obviously something that had meant a lot to her, and she was cut up over it.

"Listen, Alexis," Kate started, taking hold of both Alexis' hands in hers, "as long as _you _thought it was the right time, and it was special, then you shouldn't feel used, I know you feel like that now, but hopefully, in time, you can look at it differently; see it as giving away something precious to your first love, you'll always remember that. And in the future, it won't be a sad memory; it will be a nice one."

Kate was rambling; and hoping like hell that she was saying the right thing, she really had no idea how to deal with this.

"I know, and you're right, it' not like It was a one night stand or anything, we knew each other for a long time," she reasoned with herself more than anything, "it wasn't a decision I made lightly by the way, I'm not the sort of girl who will hop into bed with anyone, that isn't who I am," she told Kate, a bundle of words quickly falling from her mouth, almost like she was trying to justify her actions; when really, there was no need to. She was an adult; a very intelligent adult at that.

"You don't have to explain it to me, Alexis; I'm not judging you, not at all. I understand and want to help you through this," Kate replied, trying to ease Alexis' unsaid doubts.

Alexis blushed slightly; she wasn't sure if it was because Kate was being so nice to her, or if it was because she had just told her something completely intimate and extremely personal; something that she hadn't told another soul.

She wasn't sure why she unloaded her worries to Kate; but she felt comfortable doing so.

Getting it all off her chest had helped make Alexis feel a little better; a problem shared, is a problem halved, right?

Det. Beckett was a tough woman who kicked ass, who had to have a hard heart because of all that she had seen, and still sees daily in her line of work.

Kate was a soft, gentle woman, with such a big heart, who only wanted to see the best in people and help them when she could, however much she could.

Alexis liked Kate before, but now she liked her a _lot _more, she was in awe of her almost.

Seeing the softer side of Kate and how caring she was had definitely changed Alexis' mind; she was unsure about the relationship at first, but this afternoon had definitely changed Alexis' opinion, she was now on side, and wanted nothing more than the two of them to spend the rest of their lives together, Kate was good for her father.

She also liked the Det. Beckett side of Kate; (as long as she was never in the firing line!) it was handy to have a detective in the family, willing to watch out for you, and help you if you ever needed it.

"You know what we need?" Kate asked Alexis, trying to change the awkward topic slightly.

"What's that?" Alexis replied, a slight smile on her face, her eyes a light red from a few tears she had shed, no doubt there will be more later.

"A girls night in, pizza, ice-cream, movies, face packs, wine, chocolate," Kate listed off, her hands still clutched to Alexis'.

"Don't you have to be back at work?" Alexis asked, noting the time.

"No," Kate told her, not even thinking about the answer.

"As long as you're sure you won't get in any trouble, I don't want to…."

Kate cut her off, "trust me, it's fine," Kate reassured her, a grin on her face.

"Then… that sounds like just what the doctor ordered," Alexis finished with a grateful look, her eyes saying all that she couldn't.

The fact that Kate had dismissed work to spend time with Alexis when she needed it the most, made Alexis feel one thousand percent certain that this woman; with a genuinely caring personality, and a heart a mile wide, was categorically one of the nicest women she had ever met, and let's face it, she has had, unquestionably, much worse female role models to look up to, her own mother being one of those.

**P.S! I could have gone on writing for this chapter… but I wasn't sure if it would have been too much considering that Kate and Alexis are only **_**just **_**at this level… to be honest, I'm not sure I did the right thing, I have a lot more to work with, with this ^^^ what do you guys think of this? What do you want to see? Carry on with their girly evening in, or move on?**


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N – I'm not too sure about this chapter, but I've posted it for you anyway, I hope you enjoy it as much as the others. The feedback has been incredible – I'm extremely grateful for your reviews. So, please continue with your support, it really does make me smile : )**

**Disclaimer – They're not mine unfortunately. **

**Have you voted for Castle and Stana/Nathan in the PCA's? I know I have…. Several times!**

They started their evening with both of them separating to have a shower; Kate wanted to wash the smell of the precinct away, something about that place made her feel unclean; she thought it had something to do with how she associated work with death; which was true, she went to work and faced death every day. Alexis thought freshening up would make her feel better; both women loved how the water had a soothing effect, and sometimes felt like it could wash all of their problems away down the plug hole; even if It was just for twenty minutes; twenty minutes of relief was better than none at all.

As Alexis made her way down the stairs, Kate came out from the bedroom; both of them wearing pyjamas and slippers; topped off with dressing gowns, "hi," they both said at the same time, causing Alexis to giggle slightly, earning a smile from Kate.

"What are we watching?" Kate asked, noticing the DVD's in Alexis' hands.

"I thought we could go for _pretty woman _and _Bridget Jones's diary, _and if you fancy another one, I've got _dirty dancing _too," came her reply, showing them to Kate as they made their way to the kitchen.

"fine by me," Kate started as she got some supplies out of the fridge, "you order tea and I'll deal with necessities," she finished as she made her way to the cupboards, opening the one that Castle_ always_ had stocked up with chocolate and crisps, and popcorn and sweets.

"What do you fancy? Italian? Or Chinese?" Alexis asked, being polite, but hoping Kate would opt for Chinese.

"You know what?" Kate turned with a bag of popcorn in one hand, and a share bag of chocolate peanuts in the other, a big grin on her face, "I'll let you choose."

"Chinese it is then," Alexis quickly replied, then headed in the direction of the house phone to place their order.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

The coffee table in front of them was filled with cartons of leftover food; prawn toast and spring rolls, crispy duck and sweet and sour chicken, egg fried rice, plain rice and mushroom rice, along with chicken noodle soup and a portion of mixed vegetables. Chips and prawn crackers made up their feast for what looked like five people instead of just two. Alexis had very clearly over ordered, or she couldn't make up her mind.

The look on Kate's face was priceless when Alexis had paid and bought their food over to where they were sat; "are you planning on feeding the five thousand," she had said, to which Alexis smiled sweetly and shrugged her shoulders, followed by a comment of, "I couldn't choose."

The first movie had ended, and sometime during the film Alexis had shuffled down the couch and placed her head on Kate's shoulder.

Kate held a glass of wine in her left hand, using the arm of the settee as a resting place, her right hand lay across her stomach.

The shift in position didn't bother Kate, so she let Alexis get comfortable; obviously needing some form of closeness, she knew all too well what it felt like needing to be curled up on the sofa needing comfort after a rough day.

If Alexis was comfortable then so was she.

Kate absentmindedly let her head lean on Alexis', her hair now dry from the shower, she let her hand rest on Alexis' knee rubbing gentle circles; a comfort Alexis found soothing – to look at them, you would think they were step-mum and step-daughter who had known each other for years longer than they actually have - neither of them could be bothered to move to change the film; the result of eating far too much food, so they sat their in a comfortable silence.

Minutes passed without a word being said between them, both enjoying the quietness, the stillness and the calm of the evening. Kate rarely got evenings like this, not with her career, it was usually a late night at the precinct, an early start, or she would get a call that a body had dropped, so when she did get this time; knowing it was completely uninterrupted, she relished it completely.

"Why are boys jerks?" Alexis said with a huff, closing her eyes.

"Is it something I did? Was I not good enough? I just don't understand," Alexis ranted, her eyes still closed but her expression clearly showing her inner debate.

"I mean, I could understand it if there was a reason, but not ready for a serious relationship? Really? Is that the best he could come up with?" Alexis spoke with sarcasm, clearly trying to figure it all out in her head, or hold in the tears; probably both.

Kate was waiting for this, she had expected it at some point; the questions, blaming herself, the anger. It was like grief in a way, although Ashley may not be dead, right now the relationship was and it is something Alexis was obviously grieving for.

Kate didn't say anything; she just squeezed her knee and kept the gentle circular rhythm of her thumb, trying to ease the girl slightly, and let her get it all out of her system.

"Why did I let myself think this time would be different? Why did I even bother with him?" a single tear rolled down Alexis' cheek as she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Kate.

"Why does it hurt so much?" she asked, her expectant eyes looking to Kate's, hoping she would have all the answers.

_You've had your heart broken._

The tone in Alexis' voice was heart wrenching, and Kate couldn't stand that she'd been hurt like this. She wanted to shoot Ashley for doing this to her, she knew Lanie would help hide the body, and leave behind not a tiny scrap of evidence.

"It hurts Alexis, I know it does, but it does get easier with time; I promise, you learn to cope with it better," Kate told her, her voice soft, raw with emotion of her own.

_My heart still hurts everyday._

She found herself bringing up memories that, weren't forgotten, but were hidden deep away, etched so deep into her heart that she would only allow herself to feel them when she was alone; or when Castle dug deep enough to bring them out; something she was both grateful for and a lot of the time not happy about; how he could make her feel better by encouraging her to talk, but also annoyed with herself for how easily he could coax these emotions from her.

Kate knew that it was a completely different situation; but heartbreak is heartbreak, regardless of how it happened.

"you have to remember though, it's nothing you did, this is his fault; not yours," Kate told her, her voice a little stern, hoping the tone would make Alexis understand that this is absolutely not her fault.

"How did you cope with it?" Alexis asked, uncertain if she should be asking this, not wanting to upset Kate.

"I mean, I know it's a completely different situation, but you know how it feels right? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to, I shouldn't have even asked; it's a bit personal, sorry," Alexis rambled on, "I don't want you to have to relive anything that you went through, or bring up hurtful emotions," she finished, eyes wide with concern as she saw the wistful look in Kate's eyes.

Kate wasn't sure if this conversation was about Alexis' break up anymore, since how did they go from boys being jerks, to her mother being murdered? hmmm.

Maybe Kate was reading too much into Alexis' question, but maybe she wasn't? She knew Alexis was aware of her mother's murder; but she wasn't sure just how much she knew. Kate was certain this conversation would crop up eventually, Alexis was an inquisitive girl, and although this area of Kate's past was extremely sensitive, she knew that Alexis meant no harm by it; there isn't a hurtful bone in her body.

Alexis had opened up to her earlier today, so it's only fair she is honest with her in return, she wouldn't brush over the question, and she wouldn't sugar coat the answer either, she would jump right in; tell the truth. How it was.

"Honestly?" Kate started, it wasn't a question, more of a statement, "I didn't," she spoke quietly, closing her eyes as if her mind had taken her back to her nineteen year old self, "I was a nightmare to deal with, I went completely off the rails; a complete train wreck, with no idea what to feel, think or do," she told Alexis sincerely, her voice wavering with an emotion the teen hadn't heard before from the usually strong, kick ass detective. Kate unconsciously tightened her grip on Alexis' leg as if to ground her; not letting the memories of her past take her away.

"I'm sorry," Alexis mumbled, her tone close to a whisper; any quieter and her apology wouldn't have been heard.

Kate remained silent, her head still leant on Alexis', her hand still where it has been for most of the evening, only now her grip is softer again.

"How did you get through it?" Alexis asked, her voice still low, interrupting Kate's reverie.

"Lanie," one word, two syllables, a name, as if it explained everything.

_Of course._

Working at the morgue had Alexis hearing all sorts of humorous stories about her mentor and Kate; in reason of course, but she never knew why or how they met, where even.

As if reading her thoughts, Kate started to speak, leaning her head back against the couch now, "we met in college, it was the year my mother died, we shared a few classes and became friends, she noticed how hard my mother's murder had affected me," she started, the look on her face told Alexis she was remembering moments from all those years ago,

"She became my rock, kicked my butt when I couldn't crawl out of the whole I had dug for myself, I don't know where I'd be now if it wasn't for her, Lanie guided me through the height of my grief,

"She's like a sister to me, and I love her to pieces," Kate finished, a smile playing across her lips at the thought of her nosey, outspoken, loud, mischievous, but most of all, completely and utterly loving friend.

Alexis was stuck for words, she hadn't asked the question of how they met, well at least she thought she hadn't, and Kate had answered her anyway.

"I didn't ask," Alexis said slowly, the only words making their way out of her mouth; especially given the recent confession.

Kate nudged her shoulder playfully, giving her a smile, effectively lighting the morbid atmosphere they had created "you_ weren't_ asking very loudly, you're definitely your father's daughter alright," she told her, slapping her knee lightly as she made her way to get up, her now empty wine glass needing a refill.

She made her way back to the sofa and handed Alexis a small glass of red wine, "I'm sure you need it after that speech," Kate joked, placing her own wine glass on the coffee table – struggling to find room due to all of the half empty containers – before she changed the DVD to _Bridget Jones's diary_.

"How about we get back to our girls night with a bit of Bridget," Kate said, giving Alexis a wink.

"And these," Alexis spoke, holding up the face packs she had reached for from the side of the couch with a big grin.

"As long as you promise to keep your camera out of the way," Kate said lightly, "wouldn't want to give anyone a heart attack would we," she finished, followed by a laugh as she remembered when her father had come home once and nearly jumped out of his skin upon seeing Kate with her face covered in green goo!

The rest of their night was filled with laughter and fun, neither one of them wanting to go back down memory lane, not for tonight at least, they'd had enough of sad memories and reliving the past.

It's safe to say the camera _did _make a brief appearance, and with the mess they had made; the bathroom was nearly green by the time they had finished, but hey, they had fun. And that's all that matters.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N – Over one hundred reviews? Wow, it's great to know you are still enjoying this, I'm having such fun writing it : ) To the people who religiously review every chapter: massive thanks to you guys : ) It's turning into more of a family fic; not my original idea, but I'm just rolling with it!**

**Disclaimer – They're not mine, but the crazy little world I've thrown them into is!**

Kate woke on Saturday morning to a whisper of a kiss to her forehead; she wasn't sure if it was real or if she was in that stage of between sleep and consciousness where her dreams felt very real, vivid.

She let a soft sigh escape her lips and a small smile played on her face.

Then there it was again, another kiss to her forehead accompanied with a gentle stroke of a thumb underneath her eye.

She knew immediately then that it wasn't a dream; it was Castle, he loved to wake her up with tender touches and kisses, she knew that he loved how pliant she was, how open she can be first thing in the morning when her guard is completely down.

She rolled onto her back and opened her eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the light that was seeping through the windows, even with the blinds down.

"Morning," she mumbled, her voice rough with sleep.

"Good Morning," he replied, holding out a cup of coffee for her to take, being his usual bubbly self, clearly he'd been up for hours.

A look of confusion swept across her face, she wasn't expecting him back until late afternoon, so she'd either really needed sleep or he was back early.

"What time is it?" she asked, sitting up now so she could take the coffee from him, giving him a grateful smile, she loved how he always brought her coffee. Some things never change, only the circumstances in which they occur.

"Just past eleven," he told her, getting up from his kneeling position from beside his side of the bed; and making his way to sit next to her. Kate had slept on his side of the bed, not just last night, but for the other two he had been away also.

He loved that she needed to sleep on his side of the bed, a comfort for her.

She was a big softy at heart.

"You're home early?" she wondered out loud.

"I missed you," he told her, like it explained everything. Which really it did, he'd skipped out on his last meeting, telling Paula to update him with any changes he needed to know about, and then jumped on the first plane he could, back to New York. _Needing_ to see her.

"I missed you, too," she said as she looked into his eyes, "But why?" she asked.

He knew she wasn't questioning why he missed her, she was questioning why he was home early, he also loved how she couldn't process anything first thing the morning, not until she had finished at least one cup of coffee. But he'd quiz her about her means anyway.

"Why did I miss you?" he raised an eyebrow, not giving her a chance to speak as he listed off a whole host of things why he had missed her, "because the bed was empty and felt cold without you, I missed you cuddling up to me, I missed waking up to your smile, having breakfast together, not being able to wrap my arms around you and kiss you, I missed everything about you. When I'm not with you, I miss you all the time," he finished and looked at the stunned expression on her face, clearly she was coming round to feeling more human. That, or she was shocked at his admissions, she knew he wasn't afraid to admit his feelings openly, but when she had only just opened her eyes? That was a lot to take in. It threw her off, not that she didn't feel the same way; she just wasn't as open as he was, and she showed him rather than told him how she felt.

"I meant, why are you back early?" her tone laced with sarcasm, before speaking in a softer, sincere tone, "oh, and what you just mentioned? Or rather rambled…. Ditto," her head looking down at her duvet covered legs.

"I left Paula to deal with the last meeting," he told her, his expression mirroring a boy who had just come back from the head masters office, he was clearly remembering the exchange with Paula earlier in the morning, it was obvious she had given him a dressing down about bailing out at the last minute. He didn't make an issue out of her unease at admitting she felt the same, he knew she felt the same, only she had different ways of proving it.

"I'm glad," she told him honestly, and she knew she shouldn't be; it was his work, and it was important, but she wouldn't deny that having him back, surprising her, was so much better than waking up alone.

He leant back against the head board and placed a hand on her knee and gently squeezed, she put her free hand on top of his and laced their fingers together as her head came to rest on his shoulder.

They sat like that for some time, just enjoying being in the company of each other, being close once again. It had only been a few days, but being desperately in love; verging on a 'Kevin and Jenny' kind of in love, it felt like much longer.

That's right, the guys at the precinct had given Kevin and Jenny's love for each other a name because the usual ones weren't enough to describe how hopelessly in love they were. Something Ryan had had jokes thrown at him left, right and centre for.

Kate didn't care though, she was happy and that's all that mattered. If she and Castle were _labelled, _then so be it.

That is something else that Castle had changed in her, she is more carefree than she has ever been.

Although so much had changed, she still had some issues to deal with, the 'I love you' that has been roaming around in her head making itself at home, has yet to make an appearance, there have been so many times she has wanted to say it, but she couldn't just get them out.

She wanted it to be special and romantic, something he would remember, and a story he could tell to their children.

_Children? Plural?_

_Oh._

Her mind was running away with itself again, she knew that was where this relationship was headed, but to think about it, just like that? And it didn't scare her or make her want to run? That was definitely a good sign.

A smile played across her face, and Castle sensed it even though he couldn't see it, "what are you thinking about?" he asked her, their positions remaining the same.

"The future," she told him without hesitancy.

"Am I there?" he wondered, his thumb stroking small circles on her knee.

"You are my future," she replied, kissing his shoulder.

If castle hadn't been sat down, he would have fell down for sure, this was the biggest admission and the biggest step, except for moving in, from Kate he had heard so far, it was almost better than 'I love you,' because to Castle, she had pretty much just said it in not so many words.

"And you're mine," he replied, kissing the top of her head, a grin plastered on his face that could light up a room.

"Come on, I think breakfast is calling, or brunch," Castle reasoned with himself as he got up from the bed, holding out a hand for Kate to take.

Xxxxxx

Castle had rummaged up a feast for breakfast/brunch, he must have been creating a homecoming meal, his culinary skills never ceased to amaze her, she wasn't sure how much she could eat though, considering the amount of Chinese she had eaten last night.

Laid out in front of her on the island were eggs, bacon, toast, waffles and pancakes, juice, milk, the coffee pot full of course.

She picked at different bits, indulging in more coffee as she ate, Castle, as usual, although she thought it had something to do with the food on the plain, piled his plate to the brim, the breakfast he had suffered on his trip home wasn't nearly enough for his big appetite.

"So, you're moving in," he said, after swallowing a mouth full of eggs and bacon, more of a statement than a question.

"I guess I am," she said softly, a smile playing across her features, she was almost hoping that he would bring this matter up, because quite honestly, she couldn't wait to share his home. Make it their home.

"When do you want to move your stuff in?" he asked, giving Kate total control. He'd be quite happy if she moved in today.

"How about we move my stuff a little at a time?" she offered, there was no doubt in her mind that this is what she wanted, but still, she liked to take baby steps.

Castle nodded in agreement, hoping there was more she had to say.

"But I want to be here, fully moved in, apartment gone by Christmas, I want a proper family Christmas with you, I want to see in the new year here, start as we mean to go on," she told him, Castle didn't miss the use of 'we,' he smiled at her, and made his way to where she was sat at the island. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing a big smacking kiss on her cheeks, earning a giggle from Kate.

Yes, that's right, Kate Beckett giggled, and it was a sound Castle loved, and he would work every day for the rest of his life to get that sound from her.

"When do we break the news to Alexis and Mother?" Castle asked, not so much as asking a question, but asking for her opinion.

"Break what news?" came the voice from the stairs, Alexis had slept in till late and had just finished a practice exam paper; the need for food and the smell of coffee brought her into the kitchen.

"Are you pregnant?" she looked between the two of them, Castle now stood straight up behind Kate, his hands resting at her shoulders.

"_If_ Kate was pregnant, would that be a problem?" Castle asked, emphasising the word 'if,' she knew what he was doing; he was putting out feelers for their inevitable future.

This should have scared Kate, but here she was again, totally at ease with the words 'pregnant' and 'Kate' in one sentence. She liked the sound of it, not yet, definitely not yet, but in the future? Yes, of course.

Alexis shrugged her shoulders, "that'd be cool," she said, matter-of-fact, like she was expecting it.

Then her eyes widened in realisation, "you are aren't you?" she said, looking to Kate for confirmation.

"No, not yet," she spoke without thinking.

_Not yet? Shit!_

It just slipped out, completely by accident, not even aware she was thinking it, let alone saying it.

Castle took in a breath, did she just say 'not yet,' his face was full of glee, if she could see him, he was sure he would get an eye roll.

"Ohhh Kaaay," Alexis said slowly, completely ignoring the stunned looks of her father and Kate. This was something they evidently hadn't discussed together, so Alexis just hopped right over it, like it hadn't been said.

"So what's this news?" Alexis asked after a few moments, her inquisitive mind getting the better of her, she couldn't just over-hear something like that, then not be told what they were talking about.

"Kate's moving in," Castle told the young girl, his expression matched one of a kid at Christmas.

"When?" Alexis questioned, not because she wasn't pleased about it, she was just curious.

Kate spoke up this time, her shock from her earlier revelation now worn off, "I want to be fully moved in by Christmas," she smiled a small smile, waiting for Alexis' reaction.

As much as they had grown close over the past few days, and had been getting on well, Kate was still nervous of the reaction she would receive; after all, moving in a new girlfriend was a big thing, and she didn't want this news affecting her relationship with Alexis. Taking a step back.

"It's the next logical step, I mean, I wondered how long it would take," she started with a smirk on her face, "it's cool, I'm happy for you guys," she finished with a beaming smile of her own, now matching the two adults in the room.

She made her way to make a coffee, but diverted to give her father a kiss on the cheek, and then gave Kate a quick hug, whispering in her ear so her father couldn't hear her, "I'm really glad, honestly," then placing a quick kiss to Kate's cheek, just as she had done to her father. Alexis spoke so softly it was only just audible to Kate, but she caught it anyway.

The smile on her face grew even bigger at Alexis' words, her blessing.

It had certainly been a day full of surprises, and it was only just lunchtime.

**P.S – I'm thinking of doing a little time jump to Christmas : ) I don't want to keep repeating myself, or for you guys to get bored… I can move them forward if I do a time jump! What do you lovely people think? I'm completely spoiler free, except for promos at the end of each episode, so I have no idea what will be happening in the show, therefore, no spoilers! **


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N – Two chapters in one day? Whew… I think my brain is fried! Loved reading all your thoughts for the last chapter… a big thanks to you all : ) **

**I'd just like to say a special thank you to 'CastleCrazie' who reviewed the last chapter and planted a little seed in my brain; which resulted in the majority of this chapter – I had a blast writing it, I hope you guys enjoy reading it : ) **

**Disclaimer – I don't own them, sadly.**

**Happy Castle Monday – I can't wait for 'After Hours.' **

"How much stuff?" Castle asked, a slight whine to his tone, "how many books?" he continued, looking to the bookshelf with eyes as wide as saucers wondering where on earth they were all going to go.

"At this rate, I'm going to need an extension, scrap that, a new apartment," he joked, picking up one of her boxes.

She rolled her eyes at him, something he had gotten used to, he didn't see it as a threat anymore, he quite liked it actually, it was more amusing than anything, and he could always guess when he would get one. In fact he often did something stupid or whinged on purpose just to get that reaction from her.

"I could always just…" she started, the look on her face one of concentration, as if she was figuring out what to say next, "Not move in," she finished, a smirk on her face, she knew she had him then.

"No, no, it's fine," Castle smiled, making his way out to put another box in the car.

A week had passed since they decided she was going to move her stuff in bit by bit, and throughout the course of the week she had been back to her apartment a few times, packing up different things and moving some of her clothes to the loft, but in between long, draining days at the precinct and catching up on sleep they hadn't actually moved much at all, and they had both agreed that this weekend they would pack up as much as they could and transfer it to the loft, hoping the end result would be that _most _of Kate's stuff would be at their place by Sunday evening.

That's what it was,_ their_ place now. Castle thought it had a nice ring to it.

Castle walked back in to Kate's apartment and huffed out a breath, placing a hand on his chest, clearly trying to milk it for all it was worth.

"Castle, you took the elevator down _and _back up, how could you possibly be out of breath?" she asked.

"That box was heavy, and how do you know I took the elevator," he claimed, hoping that if he moaned about _all_ of the running up and down he was doing, he would get a _reward _later.

Kate knew he was in one of his 'let's wind Kate up for a reaction' kind of moods, and most of the time she would indulge him, she loved the look on his face when she threw a retort right back at him.

"It was a box full of pillows," she dead panned, "and I _know_ you took the elevator because I heard the _ping," _she was glaring at him now, playfully, but still.

_Busted. _

He tried to worm his way out of it, using his puppy dog eyes for back up; something that never failed, until now.

"There was a lot of pillows then," he tried, to which Kate just shook her head and pointed to another box, "think you can handle that?" she said sarcastically, "you sure your back won't seize up, old man," she bantered with him.

_If you can't beat 'em, join 'em_, she thought.

Of course, Castle being Castle was never one to turn down a challenge, so he marched right over to the box in question and swiftly picked it up, bending his knees in the process – just in case.

"Oh, you _know_ my back is in mighty fine condition, detective," he told her in a flirtatious tone, making sure to use her professional name, knowing, in the right frame of mind the things it could do to her…. He wouldn't let his mind go there – they wouldn't leave her apartment if he started down that road!

She smiled at him, how could she not when he was like this; she kind of liked him in a playful mood, it lifted her spirits; especially after a hard day, or like now with the mundane task of packing boxes.

It would often lead to more intimate, playful things, but she quickly wiped her mind of any such thoughts, it wasn't the time or place – well, it wasn't the time anyway.

Again, she heard him huffing and puffing through the door before she saw him, and she had to stifle a laugh, he really was a man-child.

"I trapped my finger in the door," he whined, sucking his finger into his mouth for added effect.

"You're going with that?" she raised her eyebrows at him, taking in his wide eyes. obviously not believing him.

"Look," he told her, like a child would with expectant eyes, holding out his finger, moving closer so she would be able to see better, see what she wasn't so sure.

"You know," she started, folding up items of clothing and placing them in a box, "if you really are injured, and need a few days to recover after this," she motioned around the room, walking slowly towards him, "then maybe you won't be able to help me sort through my _toy _box, let alone be in any fit state to use them," she winked at him, then smirked when she noticed him swallow. Hard.

"Um, yea, no, I think I'll be just fine," he told her, stuttering his words, trapped finger long forgotten.

He had an idea, and it was almost like a light had been flicked on in his head, his eyes widened, and he had an urge to place his fist in his mouth to stop himself screeching with excitement, he had heard about this box, but he had never _ever _seen it – he was going to make it his mission to find said box, right now.

"Don't, even, think, about it," she warned slowly, knowing exactly what he was planning to do.

_Busted. Again._

"If you can get through the rest of the afternoon without a single whine, then maybe, just maybe I'll let you have a look,"

His face had gone from intrigued, to disappointed, to overjoyed in under a minute. He would try his absolute best to behave himself. He wouldn't peek at the boxes he carried down to his car – he definitely wouldn't.

Kate briefly wondered what she had let herself in for, from the determined and enthusiastic look on Castle's face, she was certain that _that _box would be making an appearance; and soon.

It's safe to say, the afternoon passed by with not a single whine out of Castle. She had to hand it to him, he certainly had patience.

Xxxxxx

Back at the loft was a different story though, the huffing and puffing returned, along with the whining and whinging.

She had hung up all of her clothes in the closet; her side of the closet, and was now placing her cosmetics in their rightful places in the ensuite bathroom.

He had asked what every single thing was for, from concealer to liquid eyeliner, to the products she used for her hair, intrigue written all over his face.

He picked up a can of hair spray and very nearly sprayed himself in the eyes; once he realised what it was for, he stood in front of the tall mirror and applied some to his hair; using his fingers to tweak around with the ends, effectively making it stick up, wiggling his eyebrows at Kate once he had finished.

_Definitely vein, _she thought as she watched him for a few seconds, before turning back to her task.

He picked up a box of tampons next; of course only Castle would manage to lay his hands on such a product, when he began to open them, that's when Kate put a stop to his actions. She had to draw the line somewhere.

"If you want to keep your hands, I suggest you stop what you're doing," she told him.

"So you'd chop off my hands now? What happened to being shot?" he replied, getting the rise he had hoped he would.

"That can be arranged," she bit back playfully, taking the box away from him and putting it under the cupboard beneath the sink.

"At least wait until I've had a chance to look through _all _of your stuff," he spoke as he moved towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist, grinning at her through the mirror opposite them.

"You're very eager to see this box, huh?" she taunted him.

"Who wouldn't be?" was all he replied, unwrapping himself from her and making his way out to pick up more boxes to sort through, "I'll make a space, a very big space, for all of your books," he shouted over his shoulder. To that Kate smiled, she was going to feel right at home here.

She came out of the bathroom a few moments later and stood at the door of their bedroom watching him neatly line the bookshelf with her books, she heard a few mumbled words; only grasping 'James Patterson' and 'Ridiculous,' She knew he'd have something to say about her book collection, or more to the point, the authors of said books.

_Jealous._

She moved her way through the study and out into the open plan kitchen/living room, "I'll get us a glass of wine, god knows we deserve it after today," she said, just loud enough for him to hear.

The only boxes left now were the ones with her shoes and coats, and a few knick knacks; Kate definitely had a large shoe and coat collection, so she decided to leave the rest for another day, it wouldn't hurt anyone. And besides, she'd seen enough boxes over the course of the week to last her a lifetime.

The box Castle had been talking about non-stop for most of the day was safely tucked away, a hiding place she hoped he wouldn't find.

Xxxxxx

Later on that evening Kate and Castle were curled up on the sofa, glass of wine in hand, enjoying the quiet, and relaxing after a long day.

It was nearing seven o'clock, and Castle had received a text earlier from Alexis, telling him to expect her over and she would be bringing Chinese.

The soft click of the lock opening indicated Alexis' arrival, and immediately Kate got up to help with the gathering of plates and cutlery, glasses and drinks etc…

"look who I found loitering the streets whilst on my travels," Alexis beamed as she walked through the door, followed quickly by a very flamboyant Martha, all twinkly eyed and full of herself, nothing new to what they would usually expect.

"Oh, darlings good evening," she spoke, her hands moving at a rapid speed, "oh, and Kate you're all moved in, that's good to see," she spoke at a level over the greetings of Alexis and Castle, upon noticing the few boxes left out in the hallway, before breezily making her way over to Kate; well, the wine cupboard, where Kate was stood.

"You know my love," Martha started, reaching for a glass and then a bottle of red wine, "it's great to finally have you here, officially," Martha winked, before putting her arms around Kate for a tight hug, empty wine glass in hand, bottle of red in the other.

"You ever need any tips on controlling that son of mine, you know where to find me – in the pub," she joked, although Castle would most certainly say she wasn't joking.

Without realising, Kate had put her arms around Martha, and was hugging her back just as tightly.

She knew Martha was a flamboyant, outgoing, and sometimes raving mad character, but she knew she had a heard of gold which was full of love, just like her son's was.

Alexis and Castle witnessed the exchange and decided to let them be for a few moments.

All the family were now around the kitchen island, Martha and Castle sat on stools opposite each other going over events that Martha had been involved with over the last two weeks, and Alexis and Kate dishing up the food and talking about everything and anything. Easy chit chat, just how it's supposed to be.

Moving towards the table to set down the plates full of food, Kate smiled at Castle, her eyes full of love and adoration, she turned her attention to the older red head and smiled as she sat down, taking her own wine glass and toasting to Martha; who in turn returned the gesture with a small smile of her own, and a nod of her head.

_Welcome to the family._

In that single moment, Kate realised that she was not only a 'kind of' step-mum to Alexis, but she herself had also gained a mother figure, she'd never forget her mum, of course she wouldn't. But she knew in that single moment; sat around the kitchen sharing a meal with a loving and caring family, that she'd finally, after years of denying it for herself, had indeed found just that; a loving and caring family, who loved her just as much as she loved them.

And there was nowhere else in the world she would rather be right now.

_Home. _

**I know there is only a little bit of Martha throughout this story, it's because I find it difficult writing her as she's such a 'loud' character.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N – This chapter is about 4 thousand words long as there is a lot going on in this. I could have split it up into two parts, but I didn't want to do that as I thought it flowed quite easily.**

**Let me know what you think, I love your feedback and lovely comments!**

**When I started this story my original idea was completely different to how this has actually turned out, it's funny how a story and its characters **_**tell **_**you where they want to go! – sounds mad I know!**

**Disclaimer – I just borrow the characters and send them on little journey's! Andrew Marlowe has the real deal.**

It was cold; freezing infact, the bitter chill of the icy winds cut right through to her bones as Kate made her way to her car, the gloves she wore did nothing to stop her fingers from nearly seizing up at the ridiculous temperatures. She jumped into the driver's seat and quickly turned on the heaters, a shiver ran through her body when the cold air hit her as she waited patiently for the heat to kick in.

A small time after the heat had started to circulate and the windows had begun to defrost, she made her way out onto the icy roads of Manhattan; hoping the idiotic drivers had decided to stay indoors. She hated driving when the roads were slippy, it isn't that she didn't trust her own driving skills; she had years of experience and police chases under her belt, it was other drivers that worried her, mainly young, new and inexperienced drivers out for a spin on the ice with no sense of danger.

Not only that, it was the mad rush of last minute shopping for Christmas; basically people thinking the world was going to end, so she kept her wits about her and drove slower than she usually would as she made her way back to the loft, there is no way in hell she would scrape death more times than she cares to remember for then to be taken out by a road traffic accident. No way.

Castle was one of those people out in the last minute dash and he being on the roads scared her in itself; but on Christmas Eve? You can only imagine what he was like; a kid who had eaten far too much candy. She'd put up with his over-the-top Christmas countdown for over three weeks, since the time when they had put the decorations up, and as she had guessed – he had to have an advent calendar; not only himself but her too, and Alexis and Martha of course.

She thought it was kind of cute actually, and since the day the whole family participated in making the loft look like a grotto that 'would put Santa to shame' as Castle had put it, she found herself being drawn in by his Christmas spirit and she welcomed it; she hadn't had a Christmas like this since she was younger, since the day her mother was murdered.

For Kate, Christmas was associated with loss and pain, a time where she grieved for her mother – more so than any other time of year. Her Christmas cheer had died with her mother when she was nineteen, but now it seems Castle had changed that too; making her see that Christmas is a time for fun and enjoyment, a time for families to come together. It wasn't a time to wallow in sadness and grief anymore; her mother wouldn't want that, she would want to see Kate making a life for herself, being part of a loving family once more.

That is what it is; a loving family, and Kate took great comfort in the thought that her mother would want her to have that, and she would be their; if not in person then in her heart and watching over her from some unknown other world.

She entered the loft quietly that afternoon; the precinct had a strict rule that on Christmas eve if you're not scheduled to work then you're out of the building by two pm sharp, she looked around as she slipped off her winter boots and revelled in the feel of the warmth enveloping her like a blanket, the greens and reds and blues and every other colour of tinsel you can imagine adorned nearly every shelf and wall, little Santa and reindeer ornaments precariously placed around the place, the six foot _real _Christmas tree in the far corner of the room twinkled a multitude of colours in the dark light of a winters day. Artificial snow spray covered the windows along with coloured stencils and lights.

A blow up snow man nearing the size of the tree sat at the bottom of the stairs and a 'Santa please stop here' sign was hung from the rails of the staircase.

She was just grateful they didn't have a front garden – she could only imagine how he would dress it up.

She made her way to the kitchen; a large cup of coffee the only thing on the agenda, the need to warm her frozen fingers, as she flicked the switch on the machine to let it heat up she glanced at the glowing Christmas tree and the beautiful shiny silver star that sat atop of it, twinkling almost like it was lit up with a bulb, her mind went back to the first day of December; the day when Castle whined incessantly about wanting to go home from the precinct together as early as possible to put all the decorations up.

_Castle was literally bouncing in his seat on the way back to the loft, she could practically sense the excitement buzzing from him and she couldn't help but smile at him; this overgrown man-child who still enjoyed Christmas just as much as when he was a small boy, who still believed in Santa for the fun and magic of it all, loved to spoil the people he loves rotten without a care in the world, this man she loves with a fierceness she has never felt before._

_The bouncing didn't stop when they got home; it heightened if anything as he bounced around like Tigger collecting boxes from various cubby holes and peeling back the tape that had concealed them all year, he was like a child opening a present, his eyes wide and a big eager grin spread across his face._

_Upon Kate's is-he-really-this-hyper look, Martha and Alexis just waved her off with a leave-him-to-it glance. _

_To be quite honest it looked like a bomb had gone off in the loft, Christmas decorations strewn all over the floor as they all decided where to put what. Castle was in charge of the artificial snow spray, although why? she has no idea, not only did he cover the windows like he was supposed to but he covered himself too, this earned him an eye roll from Kate and Alexis, to which he just grinned and wiggled his eyebrows._

_Alexis was the first to skip out on them, mentioning a final paper due and a quick kiss to each of the adult's cheeks before she left. Only after she had put the lights on the tree; something she did every year. It was her job._

_Martha pinned up the stockings to the bookshelf, adding an extra one this year for Kate, then made her way to the kitchen to pour some wine, apparently putting up Christmas decorations was thirsty work, although castle did briefly wonder how she could be thirsty when all she had done was stand around looking pretty!_

"_Just thirsty more like," he joked with her, to which she waved her hand over her shoulder at him dramatically before saying, "well, there is that," with a smirk on her face._

_Castle handed the star to Kate, a silent 'you put it on' question. She stepped onto the step ladder, lifting her arms up to situate it perfectly, she knew the reason he had asked her to do it was so he could unsubtly stare at her backside, something he wasn't afraid of doing anymore._

_She got down and just stood, stood looking at the glow of the lights – it was magical. Castle came up to her and wrapped his hands around her waist from behind; upon feeling his arms encircle her she let out a soft sigh and leant her back into his chest, something she loved about the height difference without killer heals on, she placed her hands on top of his and laced their fingers together._

_Martha sensed the change in atmosphere, it wasn't up beat and buzzing with electric from moments ago; it was now soft and loving, emotional even. Noticing the couples embrace, she subtly made her way to go to her room, figuring the two lovers would appreciate the privacy of what looked like a personal moment._

_The colours of the lights glowed around the room, lighting up their faces in colours of orange, purple and blue – nearly all of the colours of the rainbow came from the lights and it was almost a romantic setting, but it wasn't quite right for 'those' words._

_She briefly thought back to a few years ago when castle had given her the speech about if you don't believe in magic you won't ever find it._

_She smiled to herself as she spoke softly, almost a whisper, "I believe in magic," her hands stayed where they were resting on his and she squeezed gently, letting him know 'exactly' what she meant._

"_Beautiful, isn't it," his tone almost as soft as hers had been when she had spoken._

_Kate wasn't sure if he meant this moment right here; embraced together in front of the Christmas tree, whether he was on about Christmas time in general, or if he was talking about their relationship._

_Probably all three._

_It didn't matter to Kate if he was talking about one or all, because it was indeed beautiful – all of it._

She was brought out of her daydreaming by the sound of the door opening; a smile planted itself on her face as she saw Castle walk in, both hands full of bags. She couldn't wait to help prep the Christmas dinner, wrap up the last little bits, she couldn't wait to tell him of Ryan's news either; he will be gutted he wasn't there today when Ryan pretty much announced to the whole precinct that he will be a daddy by spring.

Then, the best part of it all - spend the evening curled up together on the sofa watching a Christmas movie with a glass of mulled wine.

Perfect.

_The news that Jenny was sixteen weeks pregnant didn't come as much of a shock to Kate; she had picked up on little comments here and there from him that had obviously slipped out by mistake, especially considering the looks he would give after a remark had slipped out._

_The fact that she was due early spring did shock her a little, how Ryan had managed to keep that kind of big news quiet was beyond her, he would have had to keep his mouth firmly buttoned for at least ten weeks. But Ryan being Ryan – the sentimental big softy - had wanted to break the news at Christmas._

_She did have to stifle a laugh at Espo's reaction, "you got your wife knocked up, nice one bro, I'm proud of you." followed by a slap on the back. Only Esposito could get away with congratulating someone in such a manner._

_However, when Kate had heard about it taking almost a year for them to conceive, it had her brain cogs working at a furious speed and asking herself an onslaught of questions to which she didn't have the answers._

"Jenny's expecting - due in the spring," she told him as they sat on the sofa that evening; Kate curled into his side with his arm draped around her.

"That's great news," he said with a big shit eating grin, most of the precinct had guessed a date in which Jenny would be pregnant by, and his date being the new year meant that he had won.

Nice one.

Although knowing Castle, he would spend the winnings on the baby; and more besides.

"What's up?" he asked Kate, realising she hadn't replied to him.

There was more silence; clearly Kate had wandered off into her own little world; her thoughts taking over her like they often did when they were alone like this.

"What are you thinking?" he tried again, squeezing his hand around her arm, trying to get her attention.

"Nothing," she lied, the sigh escaping her lips completely gave her away.

"It's not _nothing_, I know you and I know when something is bothering you," he pushed her, sometimes he had to.

"It's just Jenny," she started, unsure of where this conversation was even going.

"She's pregnant," Castle replied, stating the obvious.

"hhmmm,"

"You don't sound too pleased?" he asked, a statement and a question rolled into one.

"No, I am. Of course I am," she started enthusiastically, more so than when she had told him in the first place, "it's… just… oh it doesn't matter," she finished, an exasperated sigh leaving her body, frustrated with herself for not spitting out what she desperately wanted to.

"It does matter, tell me what's on your mind," he pressed, his voice soft. Gentle.

He waited, giving her the time to sort through her thoughts. Even though they had known each other for years, sometimes she would still clam up and he knew what he needed to do. Give her time.

She breathed in slowly, then let it out just as slowly before she spoke.

"It took her a year to conceive, I'm thirty three, Rick," she told him, hoping he would get the gist of what she was saying.

Rick understood her straight away, infact he had an idea of what she was going to say before it had left her mouth; he could read her like one of his books.

On the outside he kept it together, but on the inside he was jumping up and down screaming with joy.

"You… want a baby?" he asked, as soon as the words left his mouth he was uncertain it was the right thing to say.

"Yes?" was her quick reply.

There was no point in hiding the fact that she wanted children, she was just unsure of when.

He kissed the top of her head, "Tell me when you're ready" he said, as if he was reading her thoughts.

He would love another child, hell he'd have a football team of children; as long as it was with Kate, to him there was no other woman on this planet that he would want to raise children with, and he couldn't be happier that they were at this point; children. Even if they were only thinking about it for now, it was better than not at all.

He made a mental note to discreetly thank Jenny when he saw her next; because in all honesty, if it wasn't for Jenny being pregnant he wasn't sure if they would have even had this little talk.

Alexis walked through the front door, effectively disturbing their quiet moment; not that it was a problem, they were expecting her home soon anyway.

"I think we may have a white Christmas," she smiled as she bounced through the loft, almost child-like at the prospect of snow on Christmas day, "it definitely looks like it will snow," she said again as she came to sit next to Kate and her father who had now shifted positions and made room for the young girl.

"Yesss," Castle hissed, just as excited as Alexis was as he held out his hand to his daughter to feed the birds. Snow on Christmas day was something they both loved; it made it all the more special somehow.

"We can make snowmen and snow angels," Castle all but shouted in his excitement.

"Sledging has to be the best thing to do in the snow," Kate joined in, enjoying the lightness of the conversation.

"You would," Alexis quipped to Kate, after hearing some of her stories from her college days she wasn't surprised that Kate was the, the-more dangerous-the-better type of person.

Kate got up to move, one of her family traditions when she was younger was to have a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows before going to bed, it's something simple, but something that had meant a lot to Kate at the time; and she wanted to share it with Alexis, have at least one of her mother's traditions live on.

"Hey Alexis, come and give me a hand in the kitchen?" Kate asked with a small smile on her face.

Castle was always used to being the centre of attention - so he had something to say.

"And what about me?" he asked incredulously as he made his way to get up also, wondering why on earth he was being left out of this little gathering in the kitchen.

Kate placed a hand on his chest to stop him from following them, "sit back down Castle, I'd like to have a moment with Alexis," she said as she rolled her eyes at his deflated expression, "besides, you'll find out about it anyway," she finished with a sly little smirk. She knew that comment would have him spinning all sorts of little ideas and would have him itching to sneak into the kitchen, she loved to tease him. She always has.

"Where's Grams?" Alexis asked, almost forgetting that she lived there too.

"Out partying apparently," Kate replied as she grabbed three mugs from the cupboard.

"What are we doing?" Alexis wondered as she saw Kate reaching for the mugs.

"Were making hot chocolate and were gonna top it with cream and marshmallows," Kate informed Alexis as she began to heat the milk on gas ring.

Alexis made her way to the fridge and got the squirty cream and marshmallows, then diverted to the cupboard for the chocolate powder.

Kate stood watching the milk begin to boil as if it was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen, a look of nostalgia on her face. She was clearly remembering something and Alexis wasn't sure if she should say something or keep quiet, when Kate began to speak she knew she had made the right decision to keep her mouth zipped.

"Every Christmas eve me and my mum would make hot chocolate, just like you and I are now," she smiled as she remembered the memories, "and then we would snuggle down on the sofa together with our blankets and watch something Christmassy."

Alexis felt privileged, honoured even that Kate had just divulged such a special memory; let alone the fact that she was sharing it with her too.

"I'll go get the blankets," Alexis offered, a small smile playing on her lips. She knew Kate had her issues with her mother's death and understood if she found Christmas difficult to deal with; and so far everything seemed to be going well, if Alexis could do anything to bring back the nice memories and keep the bad ones at bay then she would do it. No matter how small.

Rick didn't question either of them when they walked back in, Alexis with blankets in her arms and Kate precariously balancing three mugs of hot chocolate topped with cream and a bag of marshmallows between her teeth.

He let them be, he had a small idea to what this might be about, so he just let Kate and his daughter have this moment. Granted, the hot chocolate did a lot to shut him up.

The evening passed by quickly, the adrenaline rush of Christmas day just one sleep away had now worn off and left three very snuggly and very tired people curled up with blankets on the sofa.

Alexis was the first one to turn in; noticing the time at just after ten thirty PM she had said goodnight and left Kate and Rick in a comfortable silence.

Kate's emotions were running high; just because she was with Castle and everything was changing it didn't mean she wasn't prone to feeling lost anymore. A little overwhelmed.

She needed a distraction.

The only distraction that had worked when she felt like this in recent months was Castle. She moved to stand and offered her hand for him to take; both quietly making their way to the bedroom.

Castle knew her tells, he knew how she was feeling without her having to tell him, and he knew what she needed. So without a single word he followed, intent on distracting Kate from her thoughts; to make love to his girlfriend.

_No._

Girlfriend seemed like a trivial word to call Kate, she was so much more than that. She was a friend; his best friend, she was a confidant, the woman he loved more than life itself and would do absolutely anything for, no questions asked. So he decided that partner would suit her better; in all senses of the word, partners in work, in life and in love. So until he could call her his wife, partner would do. For now.

Xxxxxx

Kate lay wrapped up in Castle, not knowing where one body ended and the other began, both blissfully sated as sleep creeped up on them both.

Castle made a move to shut the blinds but was stopped in his tracks as Kate tugged him back down on the bed.

"Leave them open," she said quietly, her hands snaking their way across his chest, her body resting aside his.

"My mum always used to leave them open for me when I was a little girl. She'd say if I watched the night sky I might see Santa and his reindeers flying past," she started to tell him, she knew he would want to know her reasons, why tonight of all nights she wanted the blinds to stay open.

"It's just something that stuck as I got older – obviously not watching for Santa… but watching the stars… _watching_ time pass me by…" she carried on in almost a whisper, giving him some more insight into the soft hearted person she really was deep down.

"I love waking up to seeing the snow on the windows, watching it fall down… it's relaxing. Calm. It's what I needed on that first Christmas morning without my mum, when I felt like the grief was taking over… consuming me," she finished, a little surprised at what she had just admitted to Castle, but then again not surprised at all, she felt comfortable with him. She could trust him. With her life and her heart.

Castle didn't say a word, he knew she wasn't awaiting a reply from him. Words weren't needed, not in moments like this anyway. He'd just listen and store it away.

Kate turned to see the clock – it read 12:01AM. It was Christmas day, and as if on cue, the first few snow -flakes began to fall; slowly dancing around past the windows as they descended to the streets below.

A small smile played on her face; she was happy, so very happy. She was spending Christmas with her family and was lay in the arms of the man she loved dearly, was so hopelessly in love with him it was ridiculous.

Castle was also watching the snow-flakes pass them by, he had a feeling this was going to be the best Christmas since – he doesn't even know. It might just be the best Christmas ever.

"Merry Christmas," he spoke lovingly, effectively gaining Kate's attention back to him.

She turned her head back to him and looked him in the eyes, a smile so wide played across her face he thought his heart would explode from it alone.

"Merry Christmas," she replied, leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips.

She lay her head on his chest, her hand searching for his to link them together as the beginnings of sleep took over their bodies.

A few moments passed and she couldn't hold it in any longer. She was ready to say it.

"I love you," she spoke softly; almost to herself, then placed a whisper of a kiss on his chest.

He squeezed her hand and kissed the top of her head, letting her know – that even in his sleepy state - he had heard her words. He wanted to reply, he really did, it's just that he couldn't, he was speechless. He knew he would never forget it the first time she told him she loved him, and this memory was one he would certainly treasure for the rest of his life.

His suspicions had been confirmed in that single moment; it definitely was the best Christmas ever, and it had barely begun.


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N – This chapter is the result of me trying to avoid housework! It's a filler chapter really but I hope you still enjoy it as much as the others : )**

**As always let me know your opinions - I love reading what you think… There is probably only one more chapter left – at a push two. But then again I never expected this to go on as long as it has done, so… if there is anything else you want to see before I wrap it up then let me know in a review or a pm. **

**Disclaimer – The characters aren't mine, the situations I put them in are.**

Kate woke to the smell of coffee, the scent filling her nose – a lovely scent that she relished. She turned over; castle was sat on the edge of the bed watching the snow fall, considerably thicker from what they saw last night. Or this morning – whichever way you look at it.

One hand was resting on her knee well his other held his own cup of coffee. The atmosphere wasn't like she expected at all. She almost expected him to jump on her to wake her up; jump up and down until everyone was up. But no, it was calm. Peaceful.

"Merry Christmas… again," she spoke with a smile on her face, her voice rough from sleep.

The look on his face was astounding, he looked so completely happy, like he was complete almost.

He leaned down to place a soft kiss to her lips, "our first Christmas," he mumbled onto her lips.

"The first of many," she replied when he pulled back, a smile playing across her face as she gratefully took the mug of coffee he offered.

"I almost expected you to be in a complete spin this morning – like the Tasmanian devil; with it being Christmas morning and all," she joked with him as he made his way to sit next to her on the bed, his back resting against the head board.

He wiggled his eyebrows at her, "that comes later, don't you worry," he began in a playful tone.

"But for now… I just want to share this with you, us... Alone," he motioned with his hand between them and towards the snow covered window, his voice soft and sincere.

She smiled in response, understanding his meaning; she gracefully climbed out from beneath the covers and straddled his hips.

"I love you," he told her as his hands ran up and down her bare thighs, his voice was strong and honest; having her believe without a doubt that he meant it. He was relieved that he could say those words now without scaring her off.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly, his arms coming to circle her waist.

She pulled back from the kiss, looked him directly in his baby blue eyes and spoke tenderly… "I love you, too," her tone was soft but he knew, just knew that she meant it. He could see from the look in her eyes alone, not only that, Kate Beckett wouldn't say something if she didn't whole heartedly mean it. All teasing aside that's just how she was, she wasn't the sort of person to fool around with people's feelings. Their hearts.

The turkey definitely wouldn't be going in the oven on time!

They showered together; like most mornings when they had the time.

As they headed out of the bedroom Castle stopped at the closed door and turned to see Kate, her smoky eyes drawing him in, but the excitement of Christmas taking over once more, "Let's get this show on the road," He almost squeaked with excitement as they left the bedroom, fingers laced together.

Kate knew the tranquillity of their morning alone was too good to be true!

In the Castle household; as Alexis got older, the tradition was for everyone to chip in with making a start on the dinner, then - once everything was cooking, boiling and roasting – they all sat down together to exchange gifts.

They all gathered around in the living room, the fire roaring and glowing around the room; the lights from the tree glistening in the corner.

Surprisingly it was Kate who had carried a glass of red wine into the living room; not Martha.

_She must be suffering from her antics last night if she's refusing alcohol, _Kate thought as she offered Martha some wine; to which she was told, "No darling, maybe later," Her face going green at the thought.

It was nearly twelve PM and it _was _Christmas, so Kate reasoned with herself that it was acceptable to drink at lunch time on this occasion.

_It's the evening somewhere in the world right? _Was what she told Castle with a shrug of her shoulders when he gave her a questioning look.

Castle was sat on the floor closest to the Christmas tree; closest to the gifts, handing them out to the person labelled on the tag.

Martha was the first to receive a gift; from Kate. A bottle of her favourite perfume, "oh this is wonderful, thank you," Martha kindly replied, "I'm nearly all out of my other bottle," the smile on her face told Kate that she appreciated it.

When Kate opened the gift from Martha her cheeks blushed a little; it was a bath set with massage oils, noticing Kate's embarrassed look she said "I know how you love your baths, the massage oils smell lovely too," she finished with a twinkle in her eye, totally giving away her intended meaning.

Alexis was next to open her gift from Kate and Castle, a beautiful silver pendant necklace with matching earrings; of course Kate was the one to pick them out, her shopping experience a few weeks ago made Kate aware of Alexis' preferences in jewellery.

"Oh… wow, this is just gorgeous," Alexis beamed at Kate and her father, "thank you," she finished as she got up to kiss them both on the cheek, obviously more than pleased with the pieces of jewellery.

Kate started to open the present from Alexis, "it isn't as nice as what you guys got me," she worried, "I hope you like it," she finished with an unsure tone.

"I'm sure it will be perfect," Kate reassured the young girl.

And perfect it was; a bottle of her favourite cherry scented perfume and a key ring photo of the two of them together. It was taken on their girl's night in; _after _they had scrubbed their faces clean of the green face mask, both smiling for the camera with wide eyes. Happy.

It was something Kate would treasure - because thinking about it; it was that day and night in which their relationship had turned a very big corner.

It was Castles turn to open his present from Alexis now, she had got him a super-man t-shirt with matching boxers.

His face was a picture, "this is… awesome," he spoke enthusiastically as he tried the top against his chest to make sure it would fit right; to which it did, Alexis never failed to give great gifts.

Since Kate had been with Castle he had noticed that she didn't wear her mom's ring around her neck anymore, so he had decided to buy her a gift with meaning and sentiment.

When she tore away the paper and opened the box her breath hitched slightly, it was a delicate, thin silver necklace with two hearts intertwined and a single gold gem in the middle where they connected at the centre. Not only did it take her breath away, but it took her words away too.

"Castle, this is… beyond… wow," she struggled to speak; her voice soft. The meaning of the necklace not lost on her, or the other two women in the room.

Two hearts, together. Always.

She did the only thing she could with an audience in the room; she kissed him quickly on the lips.

Thank you.

Now it was Kate's turn to fret over her gift she had bought for Castle.

He opened his gift, tearing at the paper like a child would – so very typically Castle.

It was a white digital photo frame – he opened the box and plugged it in, when he saw the pictures slowly passing him by his heart was full to the brim; pictures of them and their recent months together; in the park, at the Hamptons, around the loft, even a couple that were taken at the precinct.

His favourite had to be one from the Hamptons that a stranger had took for them; they were stood with their arms wrapped around each other, their heads touching as they smiled for the camera. The sunset falling behind them; colours of red, orange and pink lighting up the sky with the sea stretching on for miles behind them. It was a perfect picture that captured just how truly they loved each other.

He was trapped back into that evening on the beach and Kate was getting antsy for him to say something, "we can add more to it aswell," she said with a smile as she reached out to squeeze his knee gently.

_In the future._

"It's perfect, thank you," he said with a smile that could light up the room, his hand coming to rest on top of hers at his knee.

The atmosphere changed once again from buzzing, to gentle.

What was it with these two that could change the feel of a situation with just a simple touch or a single word; it could go from buzzing with electricity one minute to over flowing with sexual tension in an instance, then straight to love and adoration in the next.

It baffled to the two women who were sat watching them intensely, witnessing the both of them like this was incredible to watch.

"I want a relationship like the one you two have," Alexis blurted out after a few moments with a look of awe on her face, completely interrupting their moment.

"Be careful what you wish for," they both said in unison, earning a chuckle from Martha who knew all too well what it had taken for them to get where they are now.

"And you will… one day my dear," Martha told Alexis with a smile on her face, patting her on the knee as she did.

"Now… where's that wine," Martha spoke again, standing dramatically and looking pointedly to Kate.

"What makes you bad makes you better," she announced as she sauntered over to the kitchen.

Each of the adults looked at each other and grinned. So very typical of Martha.

Xxxxxx

Dinner was an enjoyable experience with surprisingly no hitches. Nothing was burned, spilled or broken.

Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Jenny joined them late afternoon; along with Kate's dad, and this time Kate and Castle weren't uptight about their parents being in the same room. After their last meeting the older duo had put any harsh words spoken behind them and were actually getting along well, there is nothing like your children possibly being in serious danger to put things into perspective.

Lanie and Esposito arrived together, and Kate made a mental note to ask her about it when they had a moment alone.

Ryan and Esposito were entertaining one another with their stories about Christmas' past with some of their usual goofiness added in for good measure while Castle was talking with Kate's dad and being the suitable host.

Martha had stolen Lanie from Jenny and Kate; insisting she could spot a good drinking partner from a mile away.

Jenny was positively glowing and her small bump was only just noticeable, if you didn't know she was pregnant you wouldn't spot it straight away.

She was grateful for Martha's need of a drinking buddy as it gave Kate an opportunity to ask Jenny some questions regarding her pregnancy without Lanie jumping in every other minute with the need to ask questions that were directed at Kate.

It would only open up a brand new can of worms, and Lanie wouldn't stop until she knew what the fascination with Jenny's pregnancy was. She loved Lanie to pieces but sometimes she just had to keep quiet on certain subjects unless she wanted an ear bashing at every chance Lanie got.

"Does it always take nearly a year to conceive?" Kate questioned Jenny.

She didn't seem to mind, she was an excited expectant mom, so talking about her pregnancy was something she loved to do, and as it was Kate, she didn't mind sharing.

"Not necessarily, I mean I read all the baby books about conceiving and they said you could fall pregnant next month or next year, everyone is different," She told Kate, reassuring her nerves slightly that she didn't even know Kate was feeling.

"And… well… with the hours Kev spent at the precinct when we were trying it wasn't always possible to… _try," _She spoke softly, for Kate's ears only as a slight blush crept up her cheeks. Kate hadn't spent much time with Jenny in the past, but from the first impressions she got, she thought she was a quiet women who like to keep her private life very much private. Unless you count her meltdown with Ryan over him lying about where he was; he did have a pretty good excuse for that though.

Jenny beamed on about how wonderful her pregnancy has been so far, the morning sickness was pretty much non-existent in the first twelve weeks, the only way she knew she was pregnant after she found out was because she couldn't handle the smell of the perfume she used to love.

And now, it's because her bump is starting to grow. She went on about how she can't wait for the first kick or to find out if it's a boy or a girl; Ryan's name for the baby of blob was starting to get on her nerves.

Jenny's attitude about her pregnancy was all positive and Kate was over the moon for them.

Jenny shouted Ryan over to join them, giving Castle a nod to join them also.

"Ryan, do you want to ask them, it was your decision as much as mine," she spoke in his direction, leaving a puzzled looking Kate and Castle at her words.

"if anything were to happen to myself or Jenny… we'd want two _responsible _people to take care of our baby… we thought about it for a while and well, considering most of Jenny's friends are single or live miles away… we thought that you two would be perfect god parents…" Ryan rambled on, as long winded as ever. He never could just get to the point without jumping all around it first.

Kate looked to Castle and Castle looked to Jenny and Ryan, all four faces adorning a matching look of complete joy.

"We'd love too."

"It'd be a pleasure."

Kate and Castle spoke at the same time, Castle giving Ryan a manly squeeze and a slap on the back while Kate hugged Jenny.

Upon noticing all the commotion in the corner of the room, all eyes were on them, "what's happening over there," Esposito shouted over, clearly wondering what he was missing out on.

Ryan made the announcement, "Beckett and Castle have agreed to be god parents," he grinned that baby looking grin that could melt hearts in an instant.

Congratulations were passed around in a flurry of words – Esposito feigning hurt in the process; which he soon got over when Ryan told him he was the first choice for the next baby.

As the evening turned into night their friends and family started to slowly disperse, Jenny and Ryan being the first – being pregnant meant you were more tired than usual – soon after the married couple left, Martha and Jim said their goodbyes with hugs and kisses, Kate's dad was dropping Martha off at her friends -she had a party to go to, and they weren't to expect her back until tomorrow.

A few drinks later and Esposito had offered to _share _a cab with Lanie. They were far too obvious.

That left Kate, Rick and Alexis, along with an apartment that looked like a bomb had done its worst.

They each did their fair share of the tidying up before turning in for the night; Christmas day had taken its toll on each of them.

"What a day," Kate spoke with a sigh as she got dressed into her pyjamas.

"A fabulous day though," Castle replied as he pulled back the sheets in his superman boxers.

They snuggled into each other as the night came to an end.

"It was the best day…" Kate mumbled, half asleep already clutching him around his waist.

"I second that," Castle agreed, a full smile on his face as he recalled their day in his mind.

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight," Castle spoke softly as sleep consumed him, pulling a little smile from Kate's sleepy face.

Xxxxxx

The week in between Christmas and new year was just the same as any other, Kate and Castle were back at the precinct the day after boxing day; both enjoying getting back to normal, Castle of course was still full of himself from the hype of Christmas and the excitement was radiating from his every pore as he arranged the up and coming new year party he was having at the old haunt for family and close friends.

He nearly fell of his seat when he offered Captain Gates and her husband an invitation and she had accepted.

He couldn't think of a better way to bring in the New Year than with his family and friends. Leave the trouble of everything he and Kate had endured this past year and move forward. Build a life together.

As it goes, killers don't work on the clock, and just because it was Christmas and New Year it didn't mean killers grew a conscience and stopped murdering people.

The case was a run of the mill Jack-Shot-Jill-over-Bill case and even though it was straight forward it didn't mean it was any less gruesome or tiring, so when New Year's Eve came around Kate was more than thrilled that she could go home early and get ready to party.

The New Year rule was pretty much the same as the Christmas rule; if you weren't scheduled to be at the precinct then you were out by two PM and weren't to show your face until January 2nd.

Castle had disappeared at lunch time to prepare the Old Haunt for the night ahead, which meant she could go home and soak in the bath for an hour and wash away the case, then get ready with Alexis.

Castle wouldn't be back until around six – he said he would quickly change and they would go to the party together.

Quickly?

Kate would beg to differ.

Xxxxxx

Kate wore a simple tight black dress that rested just above her knees with a low cut, but not too low that it would show her scar. A pair of cream and black heels on her feet, her hair falling in curls around her shoulders and the elegant piece of jewellery Rick had bought her Christmas around her neck.

Alexis wore a light blue dress that ended just past her knees, simple black shoes; low heel, and the necklace and earrings she had for Christmas topped off her outfit. Her hair straight and falling over one shoulder.

Martha; the queen of over-the-top opted for a gown of sorts, silver in colour and full of sequins which draped to the floor. It was actually quite stunning. Her usual jewellery on her wrists and around her neck gave her the typical Martha-esque look with her hair styled to perfection.

All three of them looked absolutely striking, and when Rick came out of the bedroom – dressed in smart black dress pants and a baby blue shirt; which brought out his eyes Kate noticed – he had to take a minute to just look and appreciate the three beautiful women he loved more than anything in the world stood before him.

The party was in full swing, everyone he cared about was in the same room floating around and chatting away with one another, waiters with trays full of food and drink circulated between them.

He couldn't be happier, and judging by the way Kate kept glancing over at him; a smile matching his, he guessed she was just as happy too.

They all gathered around outside under the canopy to bring in the New Year.

He was stood with Kate on one side of him and Alexis on the other, one arm around each of their backs – huddled together. In his eyes, he really did have the perfect family.

The clock struck midnight and seconds later, the sky was alight with fireworks, a foray of different colours bursting in the night sky.

He kissed Kate passionately; to which she willingly returned it, everything that couldn't be said right now was spoken in that single kiss.

Happy New Year.

The beginning of the rest of our lives.

Our future.

He kissed Alexis next on the top of her head and squeezed her gently with the arm that was around her, she leaned in and kissed him back on the cheek before escaping his embrace and moving to stand next to Kate. She placed her arms around Kate's waist and kissed her cheek too, whispering "happy New Year," into her ear.

Kate returned the contact, placing the arm that wasn't around Castle's around Alexis, "happy New Year," she returned with a smile.

They stood like that for some time, watching as the fireworks did their magic, exchanging words with Martha as she floated around in her element at the success of the night, her son and his family. Her family.

Kate and Rick managed to sneak away after a short time, they made their way home, intent on making some fireworks of their own.

Together.

In their bed.

It's safe to say that Kate and Rick saw in the New Year with a bang.

***That last line? I just couldn't help myself! And I'm not even sorry lol **


	14. Chapter 14

**A.N – Sorry this took a few days longer than normal to get posted; I've been playing around with it for a couple of days! I hope it's worth the wait, let me know what you think of this – I hope the time jumps make sense… **

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed the last chapter – I love reading your opinions : ) **

_Six months after Christmas…_

"Kate?" Alexis spoke from where she stood at the Bottom of the stairs, her voice was tight, a look of shock covering her face; her eyes wide, her mouth open slightly struggling to speak.

Kate spun round from where she was stood in the kitchen, a smile on her face as she saw Alexis; the smile faded when she saw the look on the teenager's face, it worried Kate… had her wondering what was wrong, her mind having made up some ridiculous scenarios; was she in trouble? Did she need Kate's help?

"Are you okay?" Kate asked; the first thing that popped into her head upon noticing the girl's expression.

"Uh… yea," she replied, her voice wavering; giving away that no, she might not be okay.

A frown appeared on Kate's brow, Alexis was keeping her worry close to her chest; something that had ceased happening between the two of them a long time ago.

"What is it, Alexis?" Kate questioned, her voice soft, her posture relaxed.

Alexis opened her hand; the one that had been hidden behind her back, revealing to Kate what had gotten her a little tense.

"What's this?" she asked, her eyes not faltering from Kate's.

Alexis knew what it was, of course she did, but she was asking for an explanation; in not so many words.

Oh.

Kate visibly paled; she could practically feel all the blood running out of her face, she moved to the counter and held on; fearing she would fall if she didn't keep herself steady, she swallowed thickly.

A pregnancy test.

No.

Not any pregnancy test; it was Kate's pregnancy test, and it was positive.

In her haste to tell Castle she had left it in the bin in the bathroom upstairs, not worrying that it would be found; she was an excited mess when she found out, so no logical thoughts were really running through her mind at all. And she'd just forgotten about it since.

Crap.

Kate stuttered her words out, Alexis was _not supposed_ to find out like this. They _both _wanted to sit her down and tell her the news when they had been for a scan, it shouldn't be Kate telling her on her own in a spur of the moment kind of way.

"It's a… um, pregnancy test."

"I know what it is, and I'm guessing it's yours? How long have you known?" Alexis replied, wondering just how long they have kept this news form her for; just because she's at college it doesn't mean she shouldn't be updated on family news. Especially something this big.

When her father and Kate first got together, one of her worries; along with many others, was that she would be pushed out, and right now she was feeling a little left out of the loop.

Kate sat down on one of the bar stools, preparing herself for an onslaught of questions, ready for Alexis to complain, have a go.

Kate laced her fingers together in front of her; the news she was telling Alexis should be filled with joy and excitement, but she felt nervous, worried even.

"Two weeks," she replied, her voice remaining strong and confident even though her insides were squirming, she wasn't sure if it was morning sickness raising its ugly head or if it was just her nerves making her feel that way at the situation she found herself in.

There was nothing, no questions, no congratulations, not even a smile; Alexis stayed silent.

"Oh, that's great," was all that finally made its way out of her mouth; her voice laced with sarcasm, then with a quick shuffle to the couch she grabbed her coat and bag and left, closing the door quietly behind her.

That wasn't the reaction Kate was expecting at all, she expected a little bit of attitude, maybe even a few harsh words of some kind, but not the running off; so to speak.

She had dealt with Alexis' attitude in the past; the both of them had even shared harsh words on one occasion after Christmas, just your usual family affair.

Harsh words and attitude she could deal with; when she and Castle started dating she almost expected it, but the silent treatment? She was at a loss for what to do.

She knew if she rang or text the girl she would more than likely be ignored, she couldn't ring Castle because he was in important meetings all day, well, she could ring Castle and he would come straight home, but she didn't want him to have to do that.

She'd seen a whole host of Alexis' emotions, and the way she acted just then told Kate that she wasn't angry; she was upset. But Kate couldn't fathom why.

_Seven weeks ago… (May 7__th__)_

Jenny was due any day now and had started her maternity leave a while ago, meaning she would make regular trips to the precinct; share all her baby news. When they found out they were having a boy a few months ago; the first thing Ryan and Jenny did was head to the precinct to spread the news.

The moment she felt Jenny's baby kick just a few short weeks ago, she was certain that she wanted a baby – she'd never been surer of anything in her life.

She entered the loft that evening with a satisfied smile; not only was it their anniversary of their first year as a couple, but they had wrapped up a tough case; apparently murderers didn't want to give her an easy ride just because it was her anniversary, she had however booked the weekend off work so she and Rick could celebrate together; Alexis was home for the weekend, but she did say she had plans for the evening. (Kate wondered if Rick had made plans for her!)

she toed of her boots at the door; something she always did, and shrugged off her Jacket and scarf, even though winter was on its way out and spring was knocking at the door, their was still a bitter chill in the air.

She greeted Alexis; who was stood over the cooker at the kitchen island preparing dinner; apparently Rick had roped her into preparing their anniversary meal, the smell was delicious and it had her stomach rumbling.

When Rick appeared out of the bedroom; fresh from the shower, clad in a dark blue shirt and a pair of black dress pants she stopped in her tracks, her mind wandering to a place that she often went to recently; the future.

_She smelt the same smell, the same warmness she felt every time she entered the loft, she saw Alexis stood in front of the cooker; only she was older. _

_She saw a ring on her wedding finger, 'always' engraved on the inside, she heard a full blown baby giggle coming from a little girls mouth; running away from daddy monster, the patter of tiny feet running towards her… she saw the small girl having dark, shoulder length hair; still wet from her bath, green eyes widening in sheer delight as she ran towards her, lifting her arms to be picked up, her pink pyjama top rising to show her belly, the word 'mama' falling from her lips as she crouched to pick up her daughter, embracing the toddler in a tight squeeze, earning herself a sloppy kiss. _

_Wow, mama, that sounds right, _Kate thought.

_She imagined the small girl having Castle's sense of humour, his way with words; and would have her stubborn side, her own drive and passion showing through in everything she did, and of course the ability to wrap daddy around her little finger from the moment she was born._

_She saw Rick coming to wrap his arms around her and their daughter; placing a firm kiss to her lips in greeting._

She had let her mind take over – down to the tiniest detail. And it shocked her at how detailed her vivid imagination actually was.

For weeks she had let her mind wander back to those same thoughts, whether they were out in the city taking a walk; she'd imagine what it would be like if she had a toddler clutched to her hip, she would often day dream at the loft; imagining Rick putting their daughter to bed, herself tucking the girl in with a bedtime story, stroking back the curls of dark hair before she left her to sleep.

A simple stroll around the local park would have her mind seeing Rick pushing a baby on the swings; a cute giggle escaping her lips, a proud father showing off his daughter to passer's by, an overprotective mother wary of strangers.

She would linger longer at the store near the pregnancy and birth magazines, wonder when she would need a pregnancy test and pre-natal vitamins as she passed that isle.

And most of all; what it would feel like to hold their baby in her arms for the first time, the surge of emotion she felt at the thought of it had Kate's heart near bursting; she craved it.

This life was something she never really knew she had wanted; not until she found out that Jenny was expecting. Those dreams had died with her mother, but for the last few months it's something she has been thinking more and more about, something that is _always_ at the forefront of her mind.

She was brought of her thoughts as Rick came to stand in front of her; leaning in to kiss her passionately, "happy anniversary," he whispered as he pulled away, his forehead resting against hers.

Alexis subtly left them, leaving a note on the fridge of her where abouts, there is no way she wants to be around when they're all sloppy and mushy like that.

She smiled at him and pulled him in for another kiss, "happy anniversary," she spoke with the same tenderness in her voice, her arms coming to wrap around his waist to look up to him; his eyes, "I love you," she told him, her voice strong, speaking the truth.

She left to go for a shower while Rick 'prepared' things, she thought Alexis was the one preparing the dinner; but when she came out of the bedroom a short while later she was gobsmacked, he really did have to prepare things. He'd gone all out, typical of Castle really.

There were Candles lit on every surface, a huge bunch of red roses on the kitchen island, rose petals scattered around the floor, a table set for two people with a single candle lit in the middle.

If this wasn't romantic she had no idea what was.

He knew she wasn't too comfortable with going out and having a big fuss made over her; she hated the press, so he had decided to wine and dine her at home instead, and the way she looked in the red dress he had bought for her to wear this evening he was quite glad they _weren't_ going anywhere; he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off her.

As it goes, Rick indeed couldn't keep his hands to himself, and they barely just made it to his office, leaving a trail of clothes behind them.

Xxxxxx

"I want to be pregnant by Christmas," she all but threw it out there, just like that. Castle, who was lay in bed, his head engrossed in his phone as he waited for her to come out of the bathroom. On hearing her words his head shot up in her direction at the foot of the bed, she was clad in a black silk nightie, barely covering anything at all; her hands were placed on her hips, a stern expression played across her face. She was serious.

Castle had to hide a smirk that was threatening to escape, his eyes roamed her body, he loved it when she was like this; all serious and set in her mission and looking absolutely every bit as sexy as ever. He wouldn't say no to anything when she was dressed like _that._

"You do?" he asked, not at all surprised given the way Kate looked when Jenny was around, and the first time she felt the baby kick her face lit up; a full blown smile for all the world to see. He kicked himself for his reply; of course she wanted a baby, hadn't she just told him that?

She nodded her head without hesitation.

"Then let's do it, let's get you pregnant by Christmas," he agreed, his face lighting up at the prospect of being a daddy for the second time. There was of course the added bonus of more sex than normal; and with Kate, well, he certainly would never say no.

She snaked her way up to him then from the bottom of the bed, her hands and knees straddling either side of him, a predatory look in her eyes.

It's safe to stay that night was just as mind blowing as their first time together and not a lot of sleeping was done.

_Five weeks later…_

She wasn't thinking about, she really wasn't.

She didn't stare a few extra seconds more than she should have done at moms in the street with their babies in strollers. No she didn't, honest.

She wouldn't let her mind think about, she wouldn't.

But she did.

She'd done all of those things for the last two weeks; since the day of her missed period. It wasn't unusual for her period to be late; especially when she had a draining case hanging over her head just like she had for the last few weeks.

She was adamant her period was going to show up any day, she had back ache like she usually would, her breasts were sore; that was normal, her stomach had been cramping for a few days, again, that was normal for her.

No matter how many times she had read different articles and magazines that said very early pregnancy symptoms were just like your period starting, she didn't want to believe it until she had a positive pregnancy test; she didn't want to be disappointed if her body was just stressed.

But she couldn't take the taunting of her thoughts much longer, and if she was honest with herself she can't remember ever being a full two weeks late; it can range from two to ten days at the most, never two weeks.

So on her way home she stopped at the store and picked up a pregnancy testing kit; hoping and praying to some unknown god above that she was in fact pregnant.

So here she is, sat in the upstairs bathroom waiting for the longest two minutes of her life to be up, she couldn't keep still; she paced the bathroom, she was pretty sure their would be track marks soon, she fiddled with her hands, worried her bottom lip between her teeth and bit her finger nails; she never bit her finger nails.

She was nervous. Unbelievably nervous.

She'd decided on taking the test by herself; she wanted to see the look on Ricks face when she told him.

_Maybe she could bring out the camera? _She thought quickly as she paced the bathroom floor for the twentieth time.

The timer on her phoned buzzed; indicating the two minutes were up.

She stalked over to the sink where she had rested the test; closed her eyes and breathed in trying to calm herself; suddenly unsure why she had done this on her own, thought maybe if Rick was there he could have read the result.

She opened her eyes after a few seconds and looked down, their it was; the bold black writing jumping out at her, almost screaming up to her. Positive.

She half laughed and half cried, elated that she was going to be a mommy; but all the while it not sinking in properly.

She threw the test in the empty bin and did another one, just to make sure, this time the two minutes whizzed by, she wanted to jump up and down for joy, scream out to the whole world that herself and Rick were going to be parents.

Mommy and Daddy.

She practically ran down the stairs with the test in her hand calling out for Rick, he appeared from his study; at first he looked worried, but when she waved the white stick in front of him and jumped into his arms with a squeal of "I'm pregnant," flying out of her mouth he was stunned, couldn't find the words to reply, so he hugged her tight, a big fat beaming smile spread across his face.

They were going to be parents.

Oh wow.

_Six months after Christmas…_

Rick walked in that evening and found Kate huddled up on the sofa reading a baby book, something he'd often find her doing if she had the time.

"Hey," he greeted her as he walked over to where she was sat with her legs crossed underneath her, he placed a soft kiss to her forehead and rested a hand over her still flat stomach.

She pressed her head into his kiss and closed her eyes.

"Hey," she said quietly, "good day?" she asked.

"As good as it can be, how are you feeling?" he wondered, knowing the morning sickness should be kicking in any time soon.

"I'm fine, although Alexis called by today," she told him, her features showing that the visit wasn't a success.

"Is… that a bad thing?" he replied after noticing the deflated look on her face.

"She found the pregnancy test that was in bathroom bin upstairs," she started, closing her eyes at the awkward memory.

"Oh," he replied slightly confused.

"I did two tests remember, the first one is in the bin in the bathroom; I didn't think at all, the second one is in my night stand," she confirmed for him.

Realisation dawned on him about what Kate was saying; that the bathroom upstairs was very rarely used and they often told the cleaner to skip right past it.

"How did she take it?" he asked, making his way to sit down next to her, placing his hand on her thigh and squeezing gently.

"She was shocked… I think, but then she, um, walked out." She creased her forehead and looked at him, hoping he would have an explanation.

"Walked out? But why?" his tone of voice clearly one of confusion. He would never have thought that Alexis would walk out, not when she had found out about being an older sister in just over seven months.

"I don't know, Rick" Kate said with a sigh, obviously also confused by the whole situation.

"I'll talk with her, don't worry," he reassured her with a gentle squeeze of her thigh.

She placed her hand over his that was rested at her thigh and laced their fingers together.

Xxxxxx

Rick and Kate stood around the kitchen amidst preparing dinner.

Alexis rolled through the door and saw the domestic bliss playing out before her, she let the door shut a little louder than she usually would and walked quickly to the kitchen.

Before Kate and Rick could even welcome her home she was at the island.

She slat her bag down on the side, "can I have some dinner?" she spat the question at them, "or are you keeping that to yourselves too?"

Rick and Kate stood rooted on the spot; completely dumbfounded at this display from the young girl.

"Alexis?" Rick spoke once he got his brain to kick start again, "what's going on?"

"How about you tell me? You got Kate knocked up and have both known for two weeks but none of you could be bothered to tell me about it? I know I'm living away now but is it really that hard to give good news over the phone?"

Oh, she was mad. She was mad at the fact they hadn't told her.

"Alexis, we wanted to wait until we had the first scan to make sure everything is ok, it's still very early yet," Kate replied in a calm tone, trying to make Alexis understand her reasons.

"So how long were you planning on making me wait? And what if – god forbid - you miscarried before then? It's common you know in the first trimester, would you have ever told me you were pregnant in the first place?"

Ok.

Kate couldn't figure out if she was annoyed and upset that she had had to find out by finding the test in the bin, whether she worried for the baby's well-being; she's like that, or was it because she was slightly jealous that there was a new baby on the way?

"Are you jealous, Alexis?" she asked incredulously.

Whoa.

Kate couldn't fathom where on earth she had got the courage from, or why she had even let those words fall right out of her mouth, was it hormones? Or was it because she felt extremely protective of the little life growing inside of her?

Most likely both.

Alexis' eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed trying to say something, but nothing would come out, she was stunned at how blunt Kate was with her. Yes, they had had words in the past, but Kate had never been quite so sharp or to the point.

"You think I'm jealous?" Alexis started once she had found her train of thought; looking directly at Kate like her dad wasn't even in the room, "if that's what you think then you don't really know me at all," she finished, her eyes glassy as if tears were about to fall.

That little exchange stung.

The both of them.

Kate couldn't speak as she watched Alexis head towards the stairs; her bedroom.

"I don't want dinner," she said as she turned on the bottom step to look at them, her voice soft and deflated.

Rick leaned over the island; he shook his head and let out a sigh.

"What?" Kate snapped at him.

**I promise not to leave you with that ending for too long! I'm already working on the next chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A.N –The feedback for the last chapter was incredible… I grinned like an idiot whilst reading all your reviews!**

**This is a shorter chapter, I never intended for this to go into a pregnancy/baby story as I think there are a lot out there already – I can't believe it's got this far to be honest - but if you guys want it then you can have it, I have a lot to play around with : ) Just keep supplying me with your wonderful reviews : ) **

"Kate?" Castle started, unsure of what he even wanted to say.

She looked at him with a look of shock and confusion covering her face, her mouth slightly ajar as she tried to figure out what the hell just happened, why on earth would she even react like that?

"I know you're sensitive but was there really any need to snap like that?" Rick spoke softly, trying not to cause a rift. He knew her hormones were more than likely to blame, but that didn't mean she could get away with jumping to conclusions.

The way Alexis had left the room; her posture slouched and her tone deflated had his heart twisting.

"Rick…" Kate started on a sigh, her face remaining in his direction with not a clue what to say; how to explain.

"I don't… I can't…" she tried to continue but she couldn't complete a full sentence.

She got frustrated with herself, she had no idea what her body was doing to her and she didn't know how to handle it; she'd read about her hormones running wild and had heard about outbursts of tears and anger, but she never expected to feel like this.

She suddenly felt overwhelmed, and she couldn't control it. She hated not having control.

"I'm… sorry," she offered as she moved slowly to make her way out of the kitchen and to their bedroom.

Rick knew better than to follow her when she was like this; if Kate walked away from a situation that she couldn't control he knew to leave her be for a while.

He was in turmoil; he didn't know what to do, Alexis was upstairs and upset, and Kate was just across from him with only a single wall separating them; just as upset; if not more so.

He knew both women would need a few minutes – or perhaps sixty – to gather themselves back together, so he poured himself a very large whiskey and stayed seated at the island, his conflict running around him like an Olympic runner would race the one hundred metres.

Eventually he decided to go to his daughter; he couldn't take much more of the heaviness in his heart over Alexis being alone and upset; then again he couldn't take the heartbroken look in Kate's eyes as she walked away from him earlier either.

_Jeez, women are hard work, _he thought to himself as he stood on the bottom step and looked longingly towards their bedroom door; _especially pregnant ones._

His guilt about leaving Kate had jumped right off his shoulders; almost in a high jump as he thought about how he would be joining her in bed, holding her and letting her know that everything would be ok; that her hormones are something she should start getting used to and that they're going to be running her emotions for the next thirty two ish weeks.

_That feels like years away, _castle thought again as he started his quest to Alexis' bedroom.

He tapped gently against the door, his head almost pressed right against the solid wood waiting for a reply.

"Alexis?" he spoke, "it's me," no need to confirm who 'me' was.

"Come in," came the soft reply from the other side.

He sluggishly made his way over to the bed where Alexis was curled on her side facing him; memories of a small child crying in the night for her mother coming back to haunt his memory.

He sat on the edge of her bed and looked down at her; a sad smile crossing his features.

"Are you ok?" he asked, his voice soft, sincere.

Alexis closed her eyes, willing the tears to stay hidden.

"I'm not jealous," she spoke in a whisper as Kate's words echoed throughout her mind.

_Are you jealous?_

_Are you jealous?_

_Are you jealous?_

Castle leant over to kiss her forehead, closing his eyes as he did, "I know, pumpkin, I know," his voice was calm, soothing her just like when she was younger.

"She is sorry you know," he started, trying to defend Kate.

"And it's just her hormones," Alexis finished for him, her tone mimicking his.

"Yea, you're right there," he told her, a smile adorning his face.

A few silent moments passed between them before Castle broke the silence.

"Why were you mad?" he questioned gently as his insides scrunched up like spaghetti as he waited for her answer.

"You didn't tell me; I had to find out for myself… and I, it's just," she stuttered, evidently she didn't have her father's natural gift with words; especially in times like this.

"It's just what?" he pushed her, but deep inside he already knew her answer.

"It sounds stupid, childish even," she declared as she let her hand drift across her face, "I'm just… what if there isn't enough room for me when the baby comes?" she asked, her voice started confident, then it began to wither; her uncertainty creeping through, "the baby will need you to be there at every sound, every second; every minute of the day, what if I need you? What will happen then? Will Kate love me any less because she has a child of her own?" Alexis questioned as tears began forming in her eyes.

She wasn't jealous, she wasn't mad; she was worried… about Kate's love.

Oh, ok.

Insecurity central.

Castle was momentarily speechless, he was trying to find the words to reassure his daughter; confirm for her that she wouldn't be any less loved when the baby arrived.

"We won't love you any less," he told her, trying to calm her worries, "you will always be my little girl, my _first _born," he finished as he placed a soft kiss to her cheek.

She smiled at him then, her worries disappearing.

For now.

"Thanks dad, I love you," she told him as she buried herself under her blankets.

"Always," she stated quietly, her bright but tired eyes staring up at him as she waited for a reply; just like in times past.

"Forever," he finished, a small wistful smile crossing his face as he realised she hadn't forgotten their 'I love you' exchange from when she was a small child.

He left then, having one last glance at her nearly sleeping form as he closed the door quietly behind him.

Xxxxxx

Kate was bubbling, she knew she shouldn't have been eves dropping; but it was completely by accident, and of course the timing between them had never been brilliant so she had only caught _"you will always be my little girl, my first born."_

She had only been at the top of the stairs for a matter of seconds, almost ready to make her way into Alexis and Rick and _try _to explain what had happened not so long ago when she had heard Rick utter those words.

"_You will always be my little girl, my first born."_

As soon as she heard them she turned straight back around, tiptoed back down the stairs and crawled into bed, her heart heavy, the words 'my first born' repeating themselves like a storm racing throughout her.

Rick shrugged of his clothes and slid into bed; her back facing his chest. He wrapped his arm around her, his hand coming to rest against her still taught stomach, the physical signs of pregnancy not apparent anyone but him, his only recognition being her fuller and tender breasts.

She let him rest for a minute, waiting for his breathing to steady before she spoke.

"Your first born, huh?" she questioned him moments later, bracing herself for the ridiculous excuse he would come up with.

But there wasn't any; no excuse, no explanation, no out of this world story; just the truth.

"She is my first born, Kate," he told her as he rubbed a repetitive path along her stomach.

Silent minutes past between them; the only sound being their breath around them.

"You know what she's worried about most of all?" he asked her, his voice a whisper at the back of her neck.

She waited for his answer; she knew it wasn't a question, as she laced her fingers with his, effectively stilling the movement of his hand and laying them across her abdomen.

"She's worried you won't love her as much when the baby is born."

Kate sucked in a long breath, surprised at Ricks words; Alexis' confession.

She sat up and reached to pull on her robe.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his eyes following her as she made her way to the bedroom door.

"I'm going to speak to Alexis," was all she supplied for him as she left the room, shutting the door firmly closed behind her.

**Rick and Alexis decided they wanted to have some time alone together in this chapter… any good? **

**To Bella777 (guest) who asked for my twitter; if you leave your name in a review or PM - I will find you : )**


	16. Chapter 16

Kate sighed as she came to a standstill at Alexis' bedroom door, she held out a hand to tap against it then pulled away – she never gave it a second thought that the girl might be sleeping, but then again if Alexis was anything like herself she would be wide awake mulling over the comments and worrying herself about how to make things right.

"You can come in, Kate," came a soft voice from the other side of the dark wood door.

Kate froze, eyes widening in disbelief. How did she know she was there?

_Of course she knew, she's a Castle _Kate thought as she turned the handle slowly, a hesitant smile creeping to her lips as she peeked around the door to seek out Alexis.

"Hey," Kate spoke quietly as she spotted Alexis in bed – sat up against the head board – with a book open in her hands.

Alexis shifted and placed the book on her night stand then sat up and crossed her legs under her, the cover resting lightly at her waist.

"Can I join you?" Kate asked shyly, not really knowing if the young girl would welcome her into her personal space.

She patted the bed beside her and nodded her head in answer to Kate's question, her face showed no emotion. Maybe a glimmer of sadness flashed through her eyes Kate thought as she made her way to sit on the bed.

She sat on the edge where Alexis' knees were crossed and fiddled with her fingers, her eyes trained in their direction.

She didn't know what to say; well she did, she just didn't know how to put it.

She started with the most obvious.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you," Kate said sincerely as she now looked to Alexis, her eyes finding bright blue; so very similar to Castle's.

"I know," Alexis replied accepting her apology, "I'm sorry too" she offered, knowing that Kate wasn't the only one to blame; that they had both said hurtful things.

An awkward silence shifted around them for a while, the things they both needed to say settling heavy over them; neither one of them quite sure who wanted to speak first.

Kate left it up to Alexis, considering what Rick had informed her of not so very long ago she was sure that Alexis would be weighing things up in her mind; unsure of how to voice her rambling thoughts and feelings.

Alexis had her arms folded across her stomach and leaned back against the head board and closed her eyes, her legs still crossed beneath her.

Kate was just about at breaking point with the silence and was ready to talk when Alexis sighed and broke the silence for them.

"I'm not jealous you know," she spoke with confidence to make sure that Kate realised, honest to god, she really _wasn't_ jealous.

"Oh… I know, I honestly do," Kate reassured her as she watched Alexis with her eyes still closed.

Alexis plucked up the courage to say what she wanted to next, she took in a deep breath and opened her eyes; focusing them intently on Kate's, this was probably the first time they had shared harsh words which actually hurt Alexis.

And she was going to call her out on it.

"Then why did you say it?" her voice wasn't sarcastic or laced with attitude, it was soft; full of hurt almost and in need of an explanation so she could quieten her racing thoughts.

"Alexis… I," Kate started with a stutter trying to get the words out; be honest with the girl.

"I don't want to blame my outburst on my hormones, but I'm not saying they weren't partly to blame, because they were, I just…" she wandered off into her own thoughts trying to find the right words without causing more upset.

"I'll be honest with you Alexis, it was something I was concerned about and maybe that's why it just flew out without me thinking."

It's true, Kate had been a little worried about Alexis' reaction and jealous feelings making an appearance and she wasn't going to lie to her about it, she was going to be honest and smooth things over so they could get back to their normal.

"Why would you think that?" Alexis asked, her voice was strong but her eyes and the way her shoulders softened told Kate a completely different story, the look of the young weary girl sat in front of her had Kate feeling like her heart was being squeezed tight; held in a pair of hands that were being clenched together.

Her words had dragged Alexis down; a sad wonder roaming in the depths of her eyes as to why Kate would even think such a thing.

"Because, well… I didn't want you thinking that this baby will take your place, you've been used to being an only child for so long," Kate spoke quietly hoping she didn't come across as though she thought Alexis was spoilt.

Alexis understood her meaning and could see the inner struggle Kate was dealing with.

"I understand what you mean, Kate and I'm not worried about my father's love – I'll never lose my place in his heart…I know that more than anything" she assured her as she sat up and leaned over to place a hand on Kate's shoulder.

"I do have one worry though." Alexis said quietly as she ducked her head to concentrate on her knees but still letting her hand rest on Kate's shoulder.

Kate didn't reply; she was giving Alexis the time she needed to figure out how to say what she needed, she waited her out for a few seconds before she raised one of her own hands and placed it on top of Alexis' that sat at her shoulder and squeezed gently, urging her to continue.

Alexis kept her head down as she spoke; somehow she felt safer with Kate not being able to fully see her face; less vulnerable.

"I'm worried about my place in _your _heart." Alexis murmured the words so softly that they were only just audible in the quietness of the room; the only sound being a ticking clock that hung on the wall opposite Alexis' bed which somehow soothed her slightly.

She sat back against the bed once again with her eyes closed and uncrossed her legs; straightening them out in front of her to get rid of the cramp that was beginning to build.

She let the sound of the clock wash over her; breathing in and out slowly to try and settle her racing heartbeat, sooth her nerves as she waited for Kate's reply.

_Tick-Tock._

_Tick-Tock_

_Tick-Tock._

Kate came to sit in the same position on Alexis' bed; remaining on top of the covers, getting _under _the covers was probably a step too far; she briefly thought she was pushing her luck by getting comfortable on the bed in the first place but shoed it right out of her mind when she realised that she hadn't replied to Alexis' insecurity – she was too shocked to speak right away, she had known about Alexis' thoughts via Castle but she didn't expect the little confession to come out so heartfelt and packed full of emotion.

It made Kate's heart flutter in her chest and felt her eyes sting slightly with a few tears threatening to escape.

She placed a hand over her heart as she responded to Alexis; who still had her eyes closed and her hands resting across her stomach.

"You'll always have a place in my heart, Alexis," she reassured her, "no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you." She spoke tenderly but with confidence in the hope that Alexis knew she was being honest, sincere.

Alexis breathed in a sigh of relief upon hearing Kate's words and shifted her head so it was leaning on Kate's shoulder, in return Kate held out her hand and grasped their hands together, squeezing tightly; a silent reassurance.

They had never voiced 'I love you,' it wasn't something they did, but in that single moment their actions proved just how much they cared for one another; they both felt it fill them up right from the tips of their toes to the tops of their heads.

They would be just fine.

"How far along are you?" Alexis asked after a few moments of quiet between them.

"We think about seven weeks, but we won't be sure until I have a scan next week," she told her as her other hand that wasn't clasped with Alexis' made its way to rest along her abdomen.

"How do you feel? I mean, do you have any symptoms? Well, apart from the hormones," Alexis finished with a giggle, effectively lighting up the atmosphere around them.

"Apart from the hormones," she hunched up her shoulder to nudge Alexis' head slightly, "nothing yet, thankfully."

"Wait till your head is best friends with the toilet bowl, or any place that you can empty the contents of your stomach into for that matter," Alexis said jokingly as she sat up and looked to Kate with a playful smile across her face.

Kate's head fell back against the headboard and closed her eyes tight, "ugh… don't remind me."

"I can't wait," Alexis said excitedly as she sat back with a big smile looming across her face, "about having a brother or sister I mean," she added quickly after realising how her last comment might have sounded.

"Me neither," Kate replied squeezing her hand as she relaxed, content in Alexis' company.

They would be just fine, all of them together.

A family.

**A.N – I hope this was what you guys wanted to see… I could mark this as complete here as there are a lot of pregnancy fics dotted around on FF and was unsure if you guys would want to read about it, I do have a few ideas… and I think I could have a bit of fun with it – I'll carry on as long as you are happy to read it, after all, a story is written for its readers! **

**Let me know your wonderful thoughts : D**


	17. Chapter 17

Their scan revealed that Kate was in fact nine weeks pregnant; the nurse rambled on about something to do with last period and conception and ovulation and dates, and quite honestly Kate was too overwhelmed to listen to anything apart from the fast whooshing sound that filled her ears as she heard their baby's heartbeat for the first time and felt the force of Castle's grip getting stronger as he tried to keep himself seated, trying so desperately hard not to jump up and fist pump the air as he saw the little black and white blob on the screen.

The tidal wave of emotion that washed over them both was a force to be reckoned with; a feeling so strong that their hearts were bursting at the seams, over flowing with love, joy, excitement, and maybe a few nerves creeping in as the reality of their future was becoming all the more real.

Castle was getting on her nerves, seriously doing her nut it, how is she going to cope with him being an excited, giddy over the top father to be for god knows how many weeks, not to mention how he constantly asks her if she's ok, do you need anything, blah, blah, blah.

She knew he was just bubbling up with excitement – their appointment from earlier today was still running through him, he was like a little kid that couldn't sit still, she did find it adorable; _most_ of the time. Except when she had her head stuck in the toilet, emptying the remains of her stomach after trying so hard for most of the day to keep down anything but crackers.

The day after Kate and Alexis had had their little chat, the morning sickness had kicked in full swing, and she swore Alexis had jinxed it; they even joked about it.

Although why on earth it was called morning sickness she didn't know because she suffered more so in the evenings, and she briefly wondered how something the size of a pea could make her feel so poorly.

"Do you want some water?" Castle asked tentatively as he hovered at the doorway of their ensuite bathroom swaying from side to side on his feet, his nerves showing through.

"No." was his only reply.

"Do you want me to rub your back?" he asked as her head rested on her arm against the toilet seat.

"No."

"A wet flannel then?" he was desperate to do something, anything for her.

"No." she told him with a huff, her patience wearing scarily thin.

"Well do you want me to…"

He was cut off then as Kate's voice raised a notch higher.

"Castle just… I'll be fine." She told him, her voice stern as if she was interrogating a suspect.

They'd been together a little over a year and they'd seen each other in the most vulnerable ways imaginable, but watching her be sick? No, not happening.

"I'll be out soon," she told him, her eyes pleading with him to just leave her be for a minute at least.

He smiled lightly at her and then inwardly slapped himself… hard; this wasn't exactly a smiling situation. She felt rubbish and there wasn't a lot he could do, well there wasn't anything she would _let_ him do.

He made his way through to the kitchen; glancing back at the direction of the bathroom willing Kate to feel better.

He spotted Alexis shuffling around the kitchen, kettle in hand.

"I'll have a camomile tea please," he asked but not asked at the same time, hoping it would calm his nerves, excitement and worry that was bunched up in a ball at the pit of his stomach; his excitement however outweighed any other emotion.

Hearing the heart beat earlier had settled his nerves somewhat, but just like any 'parent to be' the worry was still there; and he took it as a good sign that Kate was suffering with morning sickness.

_In the evening _he thought to himself sarcastically.

"Kate can't have coffee pumpkin, unless it's decaf," he told her as she pulled out three cups from the cupboard.

"It's ginger tea," she replied as she flicked the kettle to boil, "it's good for the sickness." She raised an eyebrow at him in an I-can't-believe-you-didn't-know-that kind of way.

"It is?" he asked, curiosity spiking his voice.

"I've done my research," she winked at him as she poured the boiling water into the mugs and added a splash of cold into Kate's so it would be cooler quicker.

"Of course you have," he spoke with a smile on his face as he got up to round the island.

He kissed her head and reached for the ginger tea.

She playfully slapped his arm away, "I'll go," she told him, her voice serious.

He pouted like a nine year old who couldn't get his own way.

"I'm not as over the top as you are." She threw the comment over her shoulder as she walked away with a smirk playing across her face.

Alexis had looked into everything to do with pregnancy from morning sickness to headaches; backache to breast tenderness and constipation to restless legs, she had a wealth of information piled up in her intelligent little brain, she'd even read about giving birth and techniques and _everything._

Only she was subtle about it, unlike her dad who raved on excitedly and slightly grossed out when he found some sort of information; almost like a child who had found something peculiar and couldn't wait to tell their parents.

"Kate?" Alexis spoke gently, not a question but a warning that she was there.

She lifted her head in Alexis' direction and smiled a small smile; almost not there, as she acknowledged the girl.

"I bought you some ginger tea, it's supposed to be good for your stomach," she said as she walked over to Kate and bent down on her knees, rubbing her back slowly as Kate took the proffered mug from Alexis' grasp.

"Thank you," she spoke tenderly; grateful for Alexis' soft approach as she inhaled the tea, letting a sigh escape as the smell and heat encased her senses.

She loved everything about Castle, there was no denying that, but sometimes he was just too in your face, too much there, especially since she found out she was pregnant.

Before the pregnancy she would have been hard on him; told him to shut up or go away or you're getting on my nerves, but now she felt guilty for doing that, he was only worried about her and wanted to do his upmost to help her feel better.

"Don't worry about dad," Alexis said as her hand continued a gentle path up and down her back, "I'll keep him in line," she finished with a grin as she got up to leave the bathroom.

"Alexis?" Kate spoke her name as a question.

"Hhmm?" the red head murmured as she turned around.

"Help me up?" Kate said with a shy yet relieved smile as she thought the sickness was finally wearing off; at least for a short while, the cramp in her legs beginning to get painful.

Alexis held out her hands and pulled Kate up; careful not to spill the almost hot liquid that was in the mug in Kate's hands.

She swilled her mouth with mouthwash – getting rid of the awful taste.

"Wait till I'm pulling you up because you can't _actually _move," Alexis laughed as they left the bathroom in search of Castle.

"Hey, don't jinx it. Remember what you said last time and look what happened!" Kate told her lightly as they both laughed entering the living/dining room.

"How're my girls and peanut?" Rick asked with a wide smile spread across his face at the sight of the two women he loved more than anything in the world laughing together.

Kate rolled her eyes.

"_Peanut _is actually a fetus!" Alexis quipped with a smug smirk covering her features, winking at Kate as she spoke.

"Yea, Rick, peanut is now a fetus - by week 9 infact." She grinned. "And anyway, _peanut_ is a girl," she informed him with a pat to his chest and a quick kiss to his cheek.

His eyebrows rose dramatically, "and how would you know that?" he questioned with a playful tone.

"I just know," she smirked at him, patting softly at her flat stomach.

She always did like winding him up.

"Soon it'll be three against one, _four _when grams is here," Alexis joined in, enjoying the banter with Kate as all three of them took a place around the kitchen island.

He let out a feigned sigh of hurt as his hand clutched to his chest, "god help me," he spoke, louder than necessary for effect as he looked up towards the ceiling.

He smiled a full blown smile that covered his whole face, his eyes dancing with happiness.

Secretly he loved it; both Kate and Alexis ganging up on him.

**A.N – So you went with me continuing this…What do you guys think? Worth going further? The idea of pregnancy fascinates me no end so I could write forever about this sort of thing! Kate will obviously have issues about work as will Rick, and her insecurities about being a first time mom will have to pop up… oh my, maybe even bring Kate's mom into the mix. And of course her hormones will be running wild… (A lot of fun to be had there) **

**So much to run around with... *Grins like a complete fool!***

**Love reading your thoughts : ) the response to that last chapter was awesome!**


	18. Chapter 18

"We need to tell Gates," Kate declares as she climbs onto the bed and in between the V of Castle's legs, her back resting against his chest.

"I know," he sighs as she wiggles to get comfy.

"I don't want to," she says softly as his arms wrap around her middle and her own lay atop of his.

"I know," he replies; and he does, he knows she doesn't want anyone else except their family to know just yet, that they want to keep it between themselves for a little while longer, stay in the little bubble of bliss they have created and enjoy having this news to themselves before everyone else finds out and bombards them with question upon question.

"She'll put me on desk duty," she says on a sigh as she closes her eyes.

"I know," falls from his lips again. He's not in the same mind set as she is right now, he's floating on some other planet completely; well at least his brain is.

Kate opens her eyes _just _so she can roll them at him.

"She'll let the flying unicorns ride out to arrest suspects instead of me," she plays with him hoping it will grab his attention.

"I know," he murmurs.

No such luck.

She turns in his embrace then to face him, his eyes are closed and she smiles to herself as she watches him relax for a few seconds before she pokes him in the ribs.

She needs to have a serious conversation about this, it's been tugging away at the back of her mind since she found out she was pregnant just three short weeks ago.

"Castle," she calls, a little louder than necessary and his eyes fly open; startled at the raise in her voice.

"What?" he asks as he takes in her appearance, "something about unicorns?" he wonders out loud with a look of confusion plastered across his face.

"No… Gates, desk duty, have you not been listening to a single word I have been saying?" she asks as her eyes stay transfixed to his.

"yesss…" he starts slowly, internally rummaging around in his brain to find what she had been saying.

And in true Castle fashion it _has_ to be the most ridiculous thing he remembers; well tells her anyway.

"Unicorns arresting suspects?" he wiggles his eyebrows at her, letting her know that he is only toying with her.

She doesn't know if she wants to shoot him or laugh at him.

He collects himself together within a few seconds as he thinks he can actually _see _her thinking about pulling her gun.

"it's for the best," he tells her in all seriousness as he looks to her eyes and witnesses them cloud over; like she knows it's the right thing, of course it is, but it doesn't mean she has to like it.

She resumes her previous position at his chest now that she knows she has contacted the rational side of his brain, not the side full of fairy tales and stupid theories.

"And I'll be there to keep you company, wind you up, keep you fed and watered," he reassures her as he squeezes her hand.

"I know, it's just… not what I signed up for," she knows she's sounding like a spoilt child, but this is difficult for her.

"It will take some getting used to, but you'll figure it out, I promise." He tells her gently with a soft kiss to the top of her head.

He knows more than anyone what Kate is like, and he knows she's thinking that she can still go out in the field and face life and death situations; and still manage to keep their unborn baby safe. It's almost like she thinks she's invincible – after all she _has_ taken a bullet to her chest.

"If you're on desk duty it means regular nine till five hours; which means more time spent at home with me," he grins and she can feel it.

"annnd, more time relaxing," he tells as he pats her hands in a way that says 'you _need _to start taking it easy.'

She smiles then, his worry for her and their child is unreal and sometimes it bugs her, downright pisses her off even, but right now it warms her up, comforts her.

She lets out a yawn and unclasps his hands from around her waist; she climbs over to lie beside him, her leg shifting so it rests over his waist.

He gets himself comfortable with her wrapped around him and places an arm over her waist and pulls her in tight; holding her close.

He watches her for a few moments as her eyes flutter shut; the pull of sleep taking over her body.

He loves watching her sleep; watching as her worry lines fade and waiting for her body to grow heavy.

He kisses her lightly on the nose before he buries his head in his pillow and lets the pull of sleep wash over him too.

Xxxxxx

Kate wakes the next morning to an empty bed; she absentmindedly searches the sheets for Castle in her sleepy haze.

She makes her way to the bathroom; the place where she spent most of the night, another glorious symptom of early pregnancy is peeing every other hour.

She's tired and grumpy and all she wants to do is curl up in bed with Castle all day, but no, she has to go to work; to more than likely sit at her desk all day, and with the growing ache at the bottom of her back she's definitely sure that that's not going to be pleasant.

Her sockless feet pad across the bedroom floor and come to a stop in the study where she finds Castle with his laptop open on his desk; his brow knitted in concentration as he clearly absorbs the information on the screen.

She leans over his desk with a groan, her elbows resting on the edge to try and stretch out the ache in her lower back.

She lifts her eyes up to see his shining right back.

"Morning," she grumbles, leaving out the 'good', because there isn't much 'good' about this morning and what lies ahead of her today.

He shifts up and makes his way round to stand behind her; kneading his thumbs at the bottom of her back to try and relieve some of the tension he knows she is feeling there.

She lets his fingers work their magic for a few minutes, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she relishes in the pressure of his hands.

She stands and turns to face him; leaning up to wrap her hands around his neck and kissing him softly.

"Working?" she asks him.

"No…" he shook his head as a grin began to break free.

She knows that look, it's a mischievous little look and it often gets him into trouble.

"What were you doing?" she asked slowly and raised her eye brows at him, her tone resembled someone that had nearly caught a child red handed; but with not quite enough evidence to discipline.

"Researching sex," he told her, the grin now lighting up his face with a twinkle in his eyes.

She rolled her eyes at him, she couldn't help it.

"Rules and guidelines are always changing," he shrugged his shoulders, "just thought I would see what was or wasn't safe during pregnancy," he finished, hoping she wasn't going to pinch him or twist his ear.

If she didn't have to get ready for work she would have questioned him about it, she knew how he could take a subject and run all over town with it; ideas here and ideas there, suggesting this and suggesting that.

"Of course you would," She spoke tentatively as she patted his chest. This was so very typical of Castle, of course he would look up about having sex in pregnancy, he's a man! But he would also put Kate's comfort and needs first.

"But if you think there will be any of _that _while I'm feeling like this," she placed one hand on her back and the other across her stomach for effect, "you've got another thing coming."

"I waited four years, I think I can wait a little longer; apparently your sex drive peaks in the second trimester," he called after her as she disappeared out of sight.

She shook her head as she entered the bathroom and switched on the shower, of course he would find that out too.

**A.N – I'm not too sure about this chapter, i just tried to have a little bit of fun with it and set up for the precinct, nothing too serious… yet! I haven't forgotten about Alexis either, she decided to stay away from this chapter.**

**Any good? Or just pointless drabble? Let me know your thoughts… your feed-back has been incredible : D**


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N – Someone reviewed and said they were disappointed with the lack of Kate and Alexis interaction, especially as it was tagged under 'Kate and Alexis' and he/she was right… so I will make sure to give you all more of them together.**

**To a guest who reviewed this story with just 'CRAP' (this has been deleted!) I think the 200 plus reviews and the amount of follows I receive with every chapter say differently. Your negative comments just spur me along… so thank you. **

**To those of you who are enjoying this story and leaving me lovely comments – thank you so, so much, they really are addictive – and if you read my ridiculously long Authors notes then high five to you!**

Kate was sat at her desk, she was extremely nervous about going to see Gates and if it wasn't for her insistent tapping of her foot to the floor then no one would have guessed; except Castle… he knew her too well. He knew all the signs for every single emotion of hers; although lately he was a little put off his game, apparently pregnancy hormones switch around like the speed of light.

She stood and smoothed over her shirt, "shall I come with you?" he asked, not wanting to just assume.

"I think it's best I go on my own." she smiled softly at him before blowing out a sigh, anticipating what was to come.

She stood at the door to Gates' office and tapped lightly at the glass, her eyes trained on the desk waiting for Captain Gates to nod her inside.

And there was the nod; along with her glasses coming off.

"Detective Beckett, please take a seat," the older woman offered using her hands.

Usually Kate would refuse; politely of course, having the height advantage made Kate feel less intimidated by her Captain, but today she took the seat, unsure if she could hold herself up due to the nerves running ragged around her body.

She briefly thought that feeling like this mustn't be good for the little life growing inside of her but she ushered it out of her mind, she had Gates to deal with.

"What can I do for you?" she asked, her voice strong and confident, almost like she owned the place. Well she did own the place, sort of.

"I… um, have some news," she stated with a bit of a stutter. She was about to tell her boss that she would need to be put on desk duty, that she would need maternity leave, and that Gates would be losing one of her best lead detectives who had the best close rate she had ever seen.

Kate's stomach started to turn and she prayed to the heavens above to not be sick; not right now, and definitely not in the office.

"Well as we don't have an active case I'm guessing this news is… personal?" Gates raised an eyebrow at her that unnerved Kate slightly, more so than she was already.

Kate nodded her head and briefly thought that if she was telling this sort of thing to Montgomery she would have told him by now and he would be congratulating her and telling her to take the week off, but with Gates it was different… why did this woman intimidate her so much? And grate against her?

She knew it was because she had taken Captain Montgomery's place; but she wasn't going there now.

A few moments of silence passed between them and Gates was looking pointedly towards her, waiting for her to get on with it.

"Let me guess…" Gate's started, her patience not up to scratch today, "you're pregnant."

Kate looked towards Gate's in disbelief, eyes wide in shock and her mouth slightly ajar.

Was it really that obvious?

"I'm sorry Sir, What?" she spoke with a slight shake of her head, trying to get rid of the shock that had settled over her.

"You're pregnant," she told her with an air of confidence. She'd had her suspicions for the last few days, almost the week, and the look on Kate's face confirmed that she was correct.

"H... How?" Kate cleared her throat, trying her best to sound coherent.

Gates smiled at Kate; not because she was pleased about Kate feeling uncomfortable at the situation but because she had figured it out.

"Your posture for one, you sit differently,"

Ok that was news to Kate, she hadn't even realised she was sitting any differently, but obviously her subconscious had other ideas.

"Decaff," she told her like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Not one single cop I have ever worked with who wasn't pregnant drinks Decaff coffee," she confirmed in a matter-of-fact kind of way, her eyes trained to Kate's still dumbfounded expression.

"Oh," she smirked at her, yes captain gates smirked at her, she couldn't believe it, "and I'm guessing the toilet breaks every other hour are due to morning sickness?" she paused as if pondering her thoughts for a moment, "although you do tend to get it worse towards the end of the day."

What on earth had just happened? Not only had her captain figured it out, but she monitored toilet breaks? And she even knew when her morning sickness kicked in full force.

Kate breathed in for a few seconds and let it out slowly through her nose, trying to gather her courage up from the floor where it lay at her feet in ruins.

Gates sat up straight at her desk from the slouching position she had been in previously and untangled her hands from in front of her and crossed them over her chest.

Professional façade well and truly back on.

"We'll need to go over some health and safety issues and paperwork which I'm sure you're aware of, you only go to crime scenes if they have been checked for safety first by your colleagues and _only _if you feel up to it…" Gates laid down the law with a stern expression, don't-mess-with-me written all over her face.

"And most importantly, you're on desk duty until you start maternity leave, and Detective?" She questioned to make sure she had Kate's full attention, using her professional name to hammer home her words, "If you even _think_ about taking down a suspect," she paused for effect pointing a finger in her direction, "your life won't be worth living."

"Understood, Sir," Kate spoke with a surprising level of confidence, unsure of where it had appeared from.

"Good. Now go home, take the rest of the day off," Gates waved her hands at Kate as she pulled on her glasses and started rooting through some files on her desk.

Kate stood and turned to leave, "Oh, and Kate," she heard from behind as she was just about to open the office door. She turned her attention back to her Captain, "Congratulations," she spoke with a slither of a smile.

She nodded her acceptance and walked out, grabbing her stuff as she reached her desk and telling Castle they could go home.

That was probably one of the most surreal experiences she has ever encountered and her head was still spinning as they reached the elevator to leave.

Xxxxxx

"I have a few things to sort, I'll be back later," Castle said in an excited rush as he practically ran out of his study; the place he'd been hiding in most of the morning since they had come home from the precinct, he kissed Kate on the cheek and left in a whirlwind as he grabbed his keys and wallet from the bowl that sat on the cabinet next to the stairs.

She wracked her brain to try and remember if he had told her about a meeting or an appointment he had so obviously forgotten about, but she came up empty. Her expression went from confusion to one of complete horror as she thought about what on earth he could be up to, and knowing Castle it was a _lot _of things.

He knows guys _everywhere. _

She left him to it though and ran herself a bath in the hope it would take some of her aches away; backache being the biggest pain in her ass right now.

She let her mind wander to Jenny as she lay on the bed while her bath ran, and how she could have enjoyed her pregnancy so much, especially when she felt this rubbish… all the time.

Then she remembered everything she had read about pregnancy, and every time their was always something along the lines of – all pregnancies are different; while one woman thoroughly enjoys pregnancy without a hitch, another woman could be suffering with anything from morning sickness and tiredness to forgetfulness and restless legs – it is what it is. You're lucky or you're not basically.

Kate thought how it is just her luck to suffer, nothing is ever easy in the life of Kate Beckett.

_Definitely worth it though,_ she thought again with a bright smile adorning her features.

As she got up to go and check on her bath she heard the slamming of the front door that made her jump slightly and the dumping of bags along with an aggravated sigh of what sounded like Alexis.

She quickly went to cut off her bath then made her way out to the living room where she spotted Alexis in her line of sight.

"Alexis?" Kate spoke, a little surprised as she wasn't supposed to be back for the summer for another two weeks.

"Where's my dad?" she snapped, not at Kate but at a situation that had obviously ticked her off.

"He's out, I'm not sure when he'll be back," Kate spoke softly eyeing up the young girl in front of her; wondering how to approach her, then noticing the bags by the door.

"Everything ok?" Kate questioned, hoping she would find out what had gotten her so wound up.

Alexis let out a sigh as she pulled out a bar stool to sit down, she looked tense and agitated, her usual pale cheeks were now red with anger, her hair scrunched up out of her face in a loose bun. Under her eyes were dark without make up; she looked like she hadn't slept properly in days.

Guilt quickly flowed through Kate as she thought that it was maybe some of her fault; the whole pregnancy debacle just last week.

"Yes," she lied, then quickly changed her mind. "No, not really."

Kate made her way over to the kitchen and put the kettle on, pulling down two mugs as she did.

"You know… no matter what the problem is, you always get offered a cup of tea," Kate spoke, not to Alexis in general but voicing her thoughts.

"Tea sounds nice… calming actually," Alexis replied.

Kate busied herself with making their tea then made her way to sit opposite Alexis, handing her the mug as she sat down, which Alexis accepted with a grateful smile.

"What's going on, Alexis?" Kate asked, straight to the point, no point in stepping on egg shells around her.

"Everything," she spoke in a calm voice; considerably softer from moments ago, as she looked directly into the steaming liquid that sat in her mug.

There was no point in tip toeing around her, Kate and Alexis had established the sort of relationship where they preferred to just get it out in the open, sort it out. Even if it wasn't an issue between themselves.

"Define everything," Kate asked her tentatively, slightly concerned at how Alexis slumped in on herself.

"I have end of year exams looming, and Kate," Alexis looked up, "the pressure is too much, I'm studying at every chance I get, and most days I'm running on caffeine," she told her as she nursed the mug in front of her.

"If I don't pass these exams then I don't make it through to next year," Alexis spoke, the worry in her eyes shining through.

Kate reached out her hand to prize one of Alexis' away from her mug and held it tight between her own, "you're a smart girl Alexis, incredibly smart, you'll do just fine I know it," she told her with confidence. Alexis _was _a smart girl and she could more than likely pass all of her exams without studying, but as Alexis was a fragile kind of girl, she still needed the added reassurance. And keeping herself up all night with her head buried in textbooks was just something she did, it's who she is, but she needed to be reminded that if she carries on the way she is doing she will crash and burn out; her brain frazzling.

"You need to take time out, Alexis, make time for you. Make sure you're looking after yourself, I know how hard college life can be and believe me, running yourself into the ground with worry is not a good thing to do…" she told the red head firmly, trying to make her realise that she would eventually make herself ill with exhaustion and worry.

"I failed my second year, and you know why?" Kate asked her, it wasn't really a question and Alexis knew to wait for her answer, her eyes scanning Kate's face.

"Because I did exactly what you're doing now… I barely slept, and I stressed out about exams and deadlines and assessments. I didn't look after myself."

Kate squeezed Alexis' hand softly and circled gentle patterns across the back with her thumb.

She'd always cared about Alexis, but since being pregnant her mothering instincts were in full flow, the need to protect Alexis and make sure she was ok was stronger than ever.

Alexis nodded her head agreeing with everything Kate had said, she knew she was right.

"Go and run yourself a bath or have a shower, whatever, just relax. And I'll make you up something to eat… ok?" Kate spoke softly as she got up to rummage through the cupboards; finding something for Alexis to snack on.

"Ok," Alexis mumbled with a nod of her head, knowing what Kate had just told her to do was exactly what she needed.

The bags that were tucked in the corner by the front door still intrigued Kate, but she could find out about that later, right now she wanted to make sure Alexis got some much needed rest and attention.

**TBC….. **

**Thoughts?**


	20. Chapter 20

**A.N – This chapter? I have no idea where it came from! I just let it take over.**

**Probably another chapter then there will be a little time jump.**

**Not a lot to say today except thank you all again for your wonderful reviews… I love them!**

Kate put out a selection of snacks for Alexis to nibble on, chopped apple and bananas with strawberries, crackers with cheese, hummus and celery sticks along with a jug of fresh orange juice.

Since she found out she was pregnant Castle had made sure there was every different kind of fruit and vegetable and healthy food stocked in the cupboard, along with pre-natal vitamins and folic acid. She didn't expect anything differently from Castle really; she did roll her eyes though that day when he walked through the door with a variation of bags hanging from his arms.

She made her way upstairs to tell Alexis that she'd made up some snacks, she reached the door and tapped lightly; to which she had no reply.

She looked to her left and noticed that the bathroom wasn't being used; the smell of lavender body wash encased her nose so she knew that the girl had done just as she had said.

She tapped again on the door, a little louder this time and opened it slowly, calling out for her to let Alexis know of her presence.

She stopped when she saw the sight before her and a smile crossed her features; the young girl was fast asleep on top of the covers, snuggled up in her dressing gown and a towel wrapped around her head. She was laid on her side facing Kate's direction with her legs tucked up behind her; she looked peaceful and relaxed, just what Kate had wanted to achieve.

She sneaked across the bedroom and gently covered her up with a throw that was neatly placed at the bottom of Alexis' bed, then tiptoed out and closed the door behind her, her own bubble bath practically calling her name.

She covered up the food on the counter with cling film to save for later and made her way to the ensuite bathroom, a sigh escaping her lips as she thought about sinking into the bubbles and letting her body relax from the complete weirdness that had been the day.

She looked at the clock on her night stand, _and it's only two thirty in the afternoon. _She thought with a shake of the head.

Xxxxxx

She walked out of the bathroom clad in a loose pair of jogging bottoms and one of Castle's old T-shirts feeling relaxed and thankful that her previous aches had been relieved; for now.

Her stomach was still a little sensitive but she hadn't been sick yet which she was also grateful for, although she wouldn't jinx it by hoping the sickness was making itself scarce.

She spotted Alexis sat at the kitchen island snacking on the fruit, her damp hair tied up in a bun and the dressing gown she fell asleep in tightly wrapped around her.

"I thought you'd have slept the day away considering how you were when I checked on you earlier," Kate spoke as her sockless feet padded across to the kitchen.

"I set my alarm, I wouldn't sleep tonight if I slept any longer," Alexis replied as she popped another strawberry into her mouth.

"Thanks for this," the red head spoke with her hands, pointing to the food in front of her.

Kate smiled and nodded her reply as she sat opposite Alexis at the counter.

Alexis shuffled in her seat and played with her fingers, glancing back at the bags by the door a couple of times.

This didn't go unnoticed by Kate and it just raised her inquisitive mind further.

"Kate… do you mind if…" Alexis started a little shyly, her head turning towards the bags once more.

"What's in the bags Alexis?" Kate questioned easily as she chewed on a piece of apple, noticing Alexis was struggling to get her words out, and if her body language was anything to go by she had a strong suspicion it was to do with the bags that were hidden in the corner by the door.

"My clothes," she informed.

"I take it it's not just laundry?" Kate asked with a raise of her eyebrows.

"Uh… No," Alexis said slowly, still fidgeting in her seat and picking at her nails.

"I want to move back home," she mumbled as she lifted her head to see Kate's reaction.

Kate had an inkling what the bags were about, but she had no idea why. Alexis had always seemed ok with living in dorms, she had beamed on about how she loved being independent and having her own space, making her way in the world.

"If that's okay with you and dad of course, I could go back to dorms if it's a problem, I mean… you'll have a lot going on when the baby comes… if you were going to do my room up for the baby then that's fine too…" she rattled off, unsure of what Kate's reaction might be.

"I won't get in the way." She spoke quietly as her head looked towards the table, scrutinizing the marble pattern like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

Having Alexis move back in wasn't a problem for Kate, the problem was _why _she wanted to move back in, and why she would think she would get in the way.

"Alexis, its fine by me that you move back in, it's still your home too, and I'm sure your dad will be over the moon to have you back…" she patted the back of her hand to get her full attention.

"Me and your father have already decided that we will turn the guest room into a nursery, your bedroom will a_lways _be your bedroom… even when you're thirty," Kate joked, "my room at my dad's is still _my _room," she finished, hoping that her last words would make Alexis understand that this _is _and always will be _her _home too.

Alexis giggled then; some of the tension clearly leaving her shoulders as she sat up.

"At least me and your dad can keep an eye on you, make sure you're eating and sleeping properly," Kate informed with a wink.

"That's true," she smiled "but you want to know why, don't you?" the girl questioned, knowing Kate wouldn't let her get away without an explanation.

"I had wondered about it, yes," she confirmed for Alexis.

"Are you in trouble?" Kate spoke again, immediately going to worst case scenario.

"Not really, but…"

"But what? Alexis," Kate's heart began to suddenly thump against her chest, a look of worry etched across her face.

If she was relaxed before, she wasn't anymore.

"Please don't get mad…"

Oh god, Kate wanted to be sick.

"Alexis, just spit it out," she told her, her voice firm, every nerve on edge about what was going to fall out of Alexis' mouth next.

"I told a friend at college that you were pregnant."

Relief washed over Kate like a waterfall, that wasn't bad at all. Was it?

"Is that it," Kate spoke with a suspicious tone.

"No." Alexis swallowed.

"No?" Kate asked, her mind wondering what on earth could have happened from telling a friend that your father's girlfriend is pregnant.

Alexis stayed silent for a few moments trying to place her words in her head before speaking them out loud.

"She was so mean about it, about you… me I mean, she told me you and dad would love this baby more, that I wouldn't have a place here anymore, you wouldn't have time for me," she used her hands to insinuate her meaning, indicating around the loft.

_That's where this sudden insecurity has come from, _Kate thought momentarily.

"You know that's not true, Alexis."

"I know, but she just went on and on and on… really teasing me… so I just flipped." She spoke in a hushed tone, almost like she was ashamed.

Kate was sure her stomach had just fallen to the floor.

"Flipped?" Kate questioned as she tried to eradicate the whirlwind feeling in her stomach.

"Yea, I only… pushed her…" Alexis replied with a stutter, "but she pushed me first," she quickly added hoping it would get her out of trouble, a little bit at least.

"Pushed her?" clearly Kate was having a hard time taking all of this in.

"She fell and… erm," Alexis cleared her throat.

"And what?" Kate was losing patience, Alexis had clearly done something wrong and she was stalling.

"Broke her wrist." Alexis put her forehead on the table and let out a groan.

"It's bad isn't it, you're going to go mad aren't you?" she questioned with her head still flat against the surface of the island, hoping that the world would swallow her up, and soon.

Kate was stuck for words, she knew Alexis had a fiery temper when she got going but she would never have thought she was one for being violent, ok, it was only a push. But still.

_A push that ended up with a broken wrist, _Kate thought incredulously.

Alexis moved her head so she was looking at Kate, blue eyes boring into green.

"What happens now?" Alexis asked, her eyes full of fear.

"There's not a lot we can do really," Kate replied, "I don't condone what you did Alexis, but I can understand why you did it, you were just defending yourself, and she erm, well, came off worse. She must have been really bitchy for you to lose it like that."

Kate wanted to know exactly what had been said for it to upset Alexis so much, but then quickly changed her train of thought.

"Have you been kicked out of College?" Kate questioned. If she has she would really be in trouble.

"God no, it didn't happen in college, we were… out." she replied with a hesitant look, quickly regretting her words as soon as she spoke them because she didn't text her father or Kate to let them know she was even out.

"Well that's a small blessing, and if anything does come of this we'll sort it out, don't worry."

Although Kate was shocked about what Alexis had done, she wasn't mad. Infact she was a little bit proud that she had stuck up for herself and her family.

"You're not mad?" Alexis questioned with a wary tone.

Kate smiled; she knew she shouldn't but she just couldn't help herself.

"I'm not mad, no. But I want to know the reason why you're back, truthfully."

Alexis let out a sigh, she didn't want to come across as being scared but she swallowed her pride and spoke, "The girl that I pushed, well she lives across from me in the dorms."

"And you're worried about seeing her every day?"

Alexis nodded.

"I thought as much."

"I could always send Espo and Ryan round to have a few words," Kate joked, noticing the concern on Alexis' face.

"I'll keep that in mind, I might take you up on that offer," She said with sigh.

"Dad is going to go nuts," she worried, and then changed the subject, "where is he anyway?"

"That," Kate started as she grabbed her phone from the side behind her, "is a very good question."

**** I thought Alexis may come across as out of character, but when I was typing away I remembered her reaction in the series 4 premiere and figured that she really isn't that out of character at all.**

**What do you guys think?**

**Castle's reaction and the reason behind his little wander out coming up! Oh… whatever could he have been up to?**


	21. Chapter 21

**A.N – Thank you so much for all your continued support with this fic, and a big thanks to fbobs whose review inspired some of this chapter. It's lovely to read that you guys are enjoying it just as much as I'm enjoying writing it. : )**

**Disclaimer – Do I really have to say that they're not mine?!**

Just as Kate hit send for her text to go through, Castle's phone beeped as he almost fell through the door.

His eyes were dancing and he was practically buzzing with excitement as he juggled his keys with bags hanging off each arm.

"Kate, you'll never guess what…" he spoke at a rapid speed as his excitement took over, and then stopped his train of words as he focused his gaze on Alexis.

"Alexis?" he sang, surprise and happiness in his tone, "what are you doing here?" he wondered as he dropped the bags on the floor right where Alexis' were placed; completely missing them in his happy state.

He walked over to the island, well danced really as he hugged his daughter tight from behind then moved to give Kate a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Why are you here? Not that you're not welcome, I mean, yea, why are you here?" his brow scrunched up in confusion at his own words and the appearance of his daughter.

"I want to move back in?" it was a statement aswell as a question.

"Riiiight," he drew out his reply as he looked to Kate who just shrugged her shoulders at him.

"But again, why?… oooh what have you done?" he asked, suddenly curious as he wiggled his eyebrows at her, but then became serious as he noticed Alexis' expression; one of worry and awkwardness.

"I, um…" she started then looked to Kate for a way out.

"Castle, she had a run in with someone at college," Kate offered up hoping to set the ball rolling for Alexis, then bit her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Why don't I like the sound of this? Or more importantly, the sheepish looks from you two?" he spoke as he pointed a finger at them both, a look of suspicion covered his face as he raised one eyebrow.

"And what happened?" he asked, now worried for the well-being of his daughter.

"She broke her wrist," Alexis told him bluntly.

"She… what? Why? When?" he questioned, clearly not understanding the girl's brief explanation of events.

"She was winding me up so I pushed her… she fell and broke her wrist." Alexis informed her father who was now rooted on the spot after hearing her words.

"Last night," Kate confirmed, tugging on his arm to get his attention back.

"You're not in any trouble?" he asked with a hint of hopefulness.

Alexis shook her head at his question and sat and waited for the next one, she knew it was coming.

"Then why are you back?"

"The girl with the broken wrist lives across the hall," she said weakly as she looked to her father.

"So what you mean is, you broke someone's wrist and now you're hiding?" He pretty much summed it up in one.

"Well, yea, no? Maybe," Alexis stuttered, she knew exactly where her father was going with this.

"You're not hiding away; you'll go back to your dorm and show her you're not scared of her." His tone told her it was an order.

Her father had always told her not to be scared of anything, face up to your fears and tackle them head on. Jump right back on the horse that threw you off.

She knew he was right but she just couldn't go back, at least not for a night anyway.

"But dad," Alexis complained, "at least let me stay tonight, I packed all my bags, you can't expect me to haul them all back across town for five miles can you?" she spoke with a flutter of her eyelashes knowing they never failed to help her get her own way.

"Tonight you stay, but tomorrow? You go back to college and see out the rest of the term. It's only two weeks away." He reminded her. He didn't really want to make her go back, he'd quite happily have her live with him until she was forty, but he also knew she couldn't just run away when things got a bit tough.

Xxxxxx

"Castle," Kate called with venom in her tone, her expression furious.

"Yea?" he answered as he skipped out of his study, suddenly slowing down to a creep of a walk as he noticed just what Kate had found.

After the incident with Alexis they had all settled down for tea and left the bags completely forgotten by the door. Castle has a tendency to forget about things, he gets occupied with something else - totally like a child in that respect; this time he had a scene in his head for the latest Nikki Heat novel that was bugging him to be written.

"What is all of this?" she spoke sternly and stood with her hands on her hips, her posture and expression giving away that she was incredibly pissed at him.

"Stuff for the baby," he told her with a smile; her seriousness not quite getting through to him.

"Yes," she huffed "but why?"

"Well, I just wanted too?" he said with a shrug of his shoulders with no idea why Kate would be so mad.

"You can't just run off like that and do things like this," she pointed to the bags on the floor, her voice climbing a little higher.

"Why not? I thought it would be a nice surprise and I even got a…"

He was cut off by Kate's words, "I'm barely past the nine week mark and you're taking over, this should have been something for us to do together," she filled him in, "let alone that it's bad luck to have baby items in the house before we've had the twelve week scan to make sure everything is ok."

Alexis heard the commotion and sheepishly came down the stairs and looked to Kate then to her dad.

"Everything ok?" she asked quietly, hoping to defuse the situation.

"Ask your father," Kate said bitterly as she walked towards the bedroom.

She didn't know why she had just gone off on one about the baby clothes, and she couldn't understand why she was crying about it now, on her own in the bedroom like a child.

_Damn hormones, _She thought as she swiped at a few tears that made a trail down her cheeks.

"Dad?" Alexis spoke to a stunned looking Castle, "what happened?"

"I thought I would surprise Kate, I saw on the internet that you could buy foetal heart beat monitors so I rushed out to buy one… only I got a little carried away," he said sadly as he looked at the bags on the floor then to Alexis.

Alexis got a little bit excited when she heard 'foetal heartbeat monitor' but quickly remembered her dad was a bit taken aback by Kate's abrupt reaction.

"Remember when Kate asked if I was jealous?" she paused to gain his attention.

"hhmm," he hummed his reply.

"What did you blame it on?" she asked quietly as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hormones," he said with a sigh.

"She's more sensitive now than she has ever been, maybe it's best if you ask her in the future before you run around with an idea." She smiled slightly as she squeezed his shoulder.

"How do you know more about this than I do?" he wondered sadly; briefly thinking how it should be him knowing all about hormones and sickness and everything pregnancy related.

"I've read a lot on the internet, but don't worry, you _can't _be expected to know everything, you're navigating your way through this just like she is… and I bet she feels even worse than you do right now." She comforted him, hoping it would make him feel a bit better.

He smiled and kissed the top of her head in thanks, his daughter always knows how to ease his worries.

He rummaged through the bags to find the heart monitor and then left in search of Kate.

"Uh, dad," Alexis called for him just before he reached the door to the bedroom.

He spun around in reply with a smile for her.

"Can I be there," she said softly with a nod of her head to the monitor.

"Of course," he replied as his features softened at his daughter's shy appearance.

Xxxxxx

"Kate." He spoke in a whisper as he entered their room to let her know he was there.

He shuffled across the room and slid onto the bed; lying on his side facing Kate who was lay on her back with an arm covering her eyes.

"I didn't think, I'm sorry," he said sincerely, wanting so desperately to fiddle with her hair, run a hand down her cheek, anything, just needing to touch her.

"I'm sorry too, Castle," she replied, her voice just as soft and sincere, "it's just… this is all so new and I have no idea how to control all these feelings that are running ragged inside of me," she reminded him with a sigh; obviously feeling overwhelmed by it all.

"I know, you don't have to apologise," he told her, knowing that this was hard for her and she was struggling with how the pregnancy was taking over her body.

She lifted her arm from her face and picked up his hand to lay it across her lower stomach; lacing her fingers with his as she did.

"This little one is creating havoc before it's even arrived," she spoke with a smile on her face as her other hand reached to caress Castle's jaw.

"I bought a monitor that can pick up the baby's heartbeat," he told her quietly; hoping she wouldn't get mad at him again.

She squeezed his hand and nodded her head slowly in reply which he took as his que to continue.

"I thought we could have a listen?" he asked as a little bit of excitement crept throughout him again.

"That would be lovely," she said as she closed her eyes, remembering the first time she heard their baby's heartbeat.

"I told Alexis she could listen too."

"I want Alexis with us to hear this," she stated with a small smile, "I want her to be involved in everything," she confirmed.

Castle went to get Alexis as Kate opened the box of the monitor and scrutinised it with a concentrated look; she took out the gel, and briefly thought that it mustn't have been cheap, but she let that thought pass her by as Castle walked into the room followed by a very excited looking Alexis, her face was lit up like a Christmas tree and her eyes were sparkling with anticipation.

Kate shimmied across the bed and held out a hand for the young girl to sit next to her, Castle took his side of the bed and waited for Kate to get comfy.

She lifted up her top and then rolled over the waist band of her jogging pants a couple of times so they rested just above her pubic bone, just like the nurse had told her to do at her appointment.

She squirted some of the gel carefully along her lower stomach and looked towards Castle to silently ask him to turn on the device and find the heartbeat.

Alexis was silent as she watched in awe at the scene folding out in front of her, holding her breath as her father used the Doppler on Kate's abdomen.

Kate searched blindly for Alexis' hand; her eyes concentrating on the movement of the Doppler, she squeezed tightly and didn't let go, to which Alexis squeezed back just as much, all three of them waiting with baited breath to hear that wonderful fast whooshing sound to fill the room.

And a few moments later there it was, _whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, _the strong and fast continued beat of the baby's heart filtering around the room.

Alexis gasped as she heard the sound and let out a little squeal before quickly covering her mouth to listen further.

Kate welled up with tears and let out a laugh of relief as she searched for Castle's eyes whose were also shiny with tears, a huge Cheshire cat grin across his face.

This is one moment, they were all certain would be one of many they wouldn't ever forget.

Castle made his way out of the bedroom a short while after, claiming he just had to tell his mother about how awesome it was that he just found their baby's heart beat and that he can listen to it whenever he wants; well when Kate agrees of course.

"Kate?" Alexis spoke quietly from Kate's side from where she had laid down earlier, too content to move anywhere just yet.

"Yea?" Kate replied with a smile still burnt into her features from hearing the heartbeat; her eyes looking to the ceiling.

"You know when I go back tomorrow?" Alexis paused for a moment as if to work through her thoughts, "will you, um, come with me?" she almost forced out the words, as if she shouldn't really be asking this of Kate.

"Of course I will," Kate replied without hesitancy, "although I won't be lifting those heavy bags," she said again with a nudge to Alexis' side after a moment of silence.

Xxxxxx

"Kate?" Castle called with a worrisome tone as she was walking out of the door with Alexis the following evening.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? I mean…" he trailed off looking towards her stomach.

She rolled her eyes.

"Castle," she said exasperated. They'd been over this at least five times that she cares to remember.

"I'm pregnant _not _an imbecile, and besides, what harm is a college kid gonna do. Really?" she gave him _the _look as she slyly showed him her gun that was holstered to her hip and the badge that was clipped to the waist band of her jeans.

Castle swallowed.

"Just for show," she winked.

He smiled then, but he was practically bobbing up and down for joy on the inside because Kate hadn't even given it a second thought about helping Alexis and having her back.

She walked over to give him a quick peck on the lips; holding her palms flat against his chest, "I'll be back before you know it." She whispered, and smiled a seductive little smile as she left that he knew only meant _one _thing.

He was bobbing up and down before, but now he was spinning on the spot and dancing in an excited twirl of happiness and excitement; so _very_ eager for Kate to return.

The whole journey to Alexis' college was full of nerves and worry; it was practically floating off her shoulders like steam, her hands intertwined and her feet shifting every few seconds with the nervous energy that was riddled throughout her tense body.

"You good?" Kate asked as they parked up in the car park, just a few meters away from her dorm building.

"Yea," she replied in a whisper before reaching for the handle to get out.

Kate grabbed her arm to stop her from going any further, "listen_. If_ she's there, she won't do anything while I'm with you." she reassured Alexis who was looking a little paler than normal.

"What about when you're not there?" she asked, then swallowed hard.

"Then we'll knock on her door and have a few words. What do you say?"

Alexis nodded her reply with a nervous smile, eyes wide.

Kate helped Alexis unpack her belongings; she noticed that the girl had a _lot _of clothes, after that she made some tea in the hopes that it would settle Alexis' nerves who was now sat on her bed looking aimlessly out of the window.

As Kate was finishing up the tea a voice unknown to Kate spoke, "oh Alexis, I wondered how long you'd be away."

The girl was a little shorter than Alexis with blonde hair and a little too chubby for her height with two girls stood beside her in the entrance way of her room.

Alexis' eyes widened and she stiffened, looking in Kate's direction who immediately guessed it was the girl with the broken wrist.

Kate stepped out from the corner that had effectively hidden her presence, "and why's that?" she spoke with confidence with her arms folded across her chest as she casually leaned against the wall on her right.

"We have unfinished business," the young girl said with a smirk as she slowly stepped towards Alexis, her two friends hot on her heels.

Kate straightened immediately and stepped to the side to block their path, no way was this girl and her little rats of friends getting anywhere near Alexis.

"I don't think so," Kate held up a hand, a don't-mess-with-me tone clear in her voice.

"And who exactly are you?" the bully asked with a blatant attitude problem.

Kate put her hands on her hips which moved her coat out of the way to reveal her badge and gun.

"I'm the girlfriend," Kate said coyly as she noticed the girl step back slightly after noticing her gun.

"you know," Kate started as she stepped forward, following the three girls that were shuffling slowly backwards, "if you want to start something here," she waved her hand back at Alexis but kept her eyes trained on the girls who were edging nearer to the door; her look exactly the same as when she would question a murder suspect, "go ahead, but just so you know - I _will _finish it." she hissed the last part for effect.

Kate rested against the door frame as she burned holes in the back of the girl's heads as they trotted down the corridor, "I hunt murderers for a living, I could eat you for breakfast," she spat at them a little louder than before so they _definitely _heard her words.

She turned on the spot and slammed the door shut behind her and noticed Alexis still sat in her previous position, she obviously hadn't moved.

"I doubt you'll be seeing those little reprobates again," Kate said with a smile as Alexis turned to face her.

"Thanks, Kate." She said with relief as she stood up, a small smile playing across her face now that she could relax a little knowing the girls were long gone.

"It's not a problem, you call me if you need me ok, anytime," she told the girl as she made her way to give Alexis a hug; an all-encompassing protective bear hug that warmed Alexis no end.

"I'll see you in two weeks, ok?" she reminded Alexis who was reluctant to let go.

"Two weeks," she replied softly with a nod of her head as she pulled away and smiled her thanks again to Kate.

She made her way to the door and turned before she left, leaving Alexis with a small wave, hoping like anything that those two weeks would be a speedy two weeks as she felt herself begin to well up slightly at the thought of leaving her there, when really all she wanted to do was stay at home.

She cursed silently as she made her way to the car.

_Damn Hormones. _

But deep down Kate knew it wasn't all to do with her hormones.

**A little time jump for the next chapter folks so we get things moving a little bit!**

**As always, would love to know your thoughts : )**


	22. Chapter 22

**A.N – I really enjoyed writing this, so I hope you guys enjoy reading it just as much! The feed-back is as ever, amazing. So thank you : )**

**Can I just say… Secret Santa? Oh My Days! I loved it, Espo was just hilarious and Gates and Castle and Beckett and EVERYTHING was just awesome… my fan girl heart exploded into stars at the ending. So many emotions everywhere! **

**Disclaimer – I think that ^^ Says it all.**

Kate stood in her bra and leggings staring at the mirror – side on.

She could see the changes of her stomach taking place; the slight curve that now adorned her body was barely noticeable unless you were purposefully looking for it but the bump; however small, was still big enough for herself to notice the disappearance of her abs, the abs she was once so proud to own and had spent hours on every week during physical training to perfect.

She was almost transfixed by the whole progress, she found it fascinating.

"I better get used to you, hadn't I," she spoke tentatively to her tiny bump with a whisper of a smile.

Talking to the baby during pregnancy is a good way to start bonding, she did at first feel a little odd talking to a blob that wasn't their; she couldn't see it, but now her bump was beginning to form she enjoyed it, infact she loved it; whispering words or singing softly to the little life that was growing inside of her.

"Hey, I just wondered if…" Alexis bounced in through the open door with a thought that was immediately broken off upon seeing Kate stood in her bra and her hands resting across her stomach. Kate turned and smiled at the young girl, thinking nothing of being half dressed.

"sorry, I didn't mean… erm, I'll just go," she stammered, slightly uncomfortable at Kate's state of dress, a little apprehensive about intruding on a special moment, but more than anything she was mesmerised at the sight of Kate's little belly.

"It's okay Alexis, what's up?" Kate said with ease as she reached for a shirt, one baggier than what she would normally go for.

"Wait, could I?" Alexis spoke shyly as she nodded her head to Kate's midriff and reached a hand out in the same direction to indicate her meaning.

"Of course," Kate replied without hesitancy.

Alexis walked over to Kate and gently placed her hand on Kate's 'jelly belly' as Castle calls it, almost like it was made of fine glass.

"I won't break," Kate joked as she pressed firmly on the top of Alexis' hand, "there's not a lot to feel yet."

Alexis' wide eyes were trained in the direction where their hands were rested; almost like something magical was going to happen, like she was expecting rainbows and fairy dust to erupt at any moment.

"Can you believe it's the size of a plum?" Alexis asked with sheer amazement in her voice and written all over her face.

Kate wasn't surprised by Alexis' knowledge; she'd often hear snippets of information thrown into conversations here and there, she welcomed it; a lot actually, it was a comfort to her knowing that there was another female in the house that she could count on or talk to if she needed, and the fact that she was back for the summer was brilliant.

Alexis maybe a Castle but she is so _very _different to Richard Castle; she is subtle and informative, not over the top and weirded out by anything she found.

She also wasn't telling harrowing stories of child birth; like Martha, or looking up birthing videos (from the bottom end); like Castle, nor was she looking up 'best sex positions during pregnancy' unlike someone she knows.

Yes… Castle had not only researched about sex during pregnancy but soon after he had found which positions were best too; hell he'd even made a list… and you guessed it, he was more than ready and willing to try them out!

Alexis wasn't counting down the _days (_of course Castle would find an app for that!)instead of months or weeks like any normal person would.

She was grounded and level headed when she wanted or needed to be and Kate found a comfort in that almost.

She would give Castle credit where it's due though, he was fantastic at giving massages; which she was immensely grateful for, especially after a draining day at the precinct when she was tense and couldn't switch off – no matter how exhausted she felt.

"I know, it's…" Kate paused trying to find the right phrase, "a lot to take in sometimes," she told Alexis truthfully.

"I can't imagine what it's like," she replied, completely and honestly in that few seconds just wondering what it felt like.

"And you better not find out – at least not for five years," Kate joked in mock sternness as if she had just read Alexis' thoughts.

"Yes Mom," Alexis saluted, joking her way out with a tint of a blush on her cheeks as she removed her hand off Kate's stomach.

The weight of the words that had easily slipped out of Alexis' mouth without thinking were not lost on either of them, but to save from an awkward situation Kate jumped right over it like it hadn't even happened – it was neither the time or place for that conversation – it could wait until another day.

"So what were you after? Until this little thing took over your thoughts," she quipped, motioning to her stomach before she pulled a on her shirt.

"Oh yea," Alexis chuckled, "I just wondered if you fancied lunch later after your scan? Leave dad to cause mischief somewhere!" she grinned wickedly as she knew what her father was like.

"Sure," she smiled and then followed it up with, "everything OK?"

Alexis rolled her eyes and then Kate rolled her eyes at Alexis rolling her eyes.

Kate could practically hear Castle whining about the exchange; _see, I told you she was turning into you. _

She smiled at the scene that played quickly through her mind.

"Everything's fine, I just thought it would be nice, we haven't done anything like that for a while," Alexis shrugged her shoulders.

"Wait?" Kate paused, "you're not coming to the scan?"

"I can't, I have plans," Alexis replied regretfully.

"OK, lunch it is, as long as we stay away from our usual of Chinese, the baby doesn't care much for the smell," Kate replied, then grimaced at the thought of Chinese food.

Alexis giggled, "Chinese it _isn't_."

Then she left Kate with a sympathetic look to the back of her head as she dashed to the bathroom.

Although Kate's morning sickness was easing off slightly, apparently it was now certain smells that turned her stomach; Chinese food being one of them, and obviously the thought too.

It was like someone had flicked a switch that had turned her nose up to extra sensitive.

Xxxxxx

"So, how was the scan?" Alexis asked enthusiastically before Kate had even sat down at the table.

They had decided to eat at a small diner not far from the loft so Kate could drop Castle back at home and walk to meet Alexis from their.

"Fine, perfect actually," Kate paused to root around in her purse, "here take a look for yourself," she smiled as she handed Alexis a small card which held the baby's scan inside.

"Aaaww… oh wow," Alexis cooed as she took in the details of the picture; practically melting to goo as she figured out the head from the body.

She handed the picture back to Kate who waved her off, "that's for you," she smiled.

"For me? Really? Thank you." Her wide eyes and the big smile that could light up a room clearly showed that Alexis was overjoyed with the image which she once again took to scrutinising.

"And you're ok too?" she questioned; she knew how everyone would usually ask about the baby without taking in consideration for the expectant mom.

"I'm fine, my iron levels are a little low but it's nothing that can't be fixed with eating a few extra greens," she told her; although Alexis probably didn't need an explanation.

They sat in content silence for a few minutes as they picked and ordered their food; Kate went for the chicken ceaser salad with a mineral water, and Alexis opted for a tuna mayonnaise and sweetcorn baguette with a diet Pepsi to drink.

"So how are things with you?" Kate wondered, genuinely interested in what the girl had been up to.

"Eating and sleeping better I hope?" she spoke again before giving Alexis the chance to reply.

"Yea I'm good, well now that exams are over with," she replied with a relieved sigh, "just the waiting game now for the results." She finished as she fiddled with her hands that were sat in front of her.

"You'll do well, you know?" Kate offered trying to calm the girl's jittery nerves, "you'll do great in fact, I know you will," she spoke again.

"How about the girl with the broken wrist? Has she been behaving?" Kate slyly asked, moving on from exam pressure.

"She won't even look at me," Alexis smirked her response, "but that doesn't mean I still don't want to move back."

"I thought you loved college life? Having your own independence and freedom?" Kate questioned, wondering why she wanted to move back, but secretly knowing the answer anyway.

"I do I love it…" she paused to figure out what to say next.

"But I love you guys more," she informed Kate, picking up the picture that lay on the table.

"And we love you… so much," Kate replied as she gave Alexis' hand a squeeze, to let the meaning of her words sink in almost.

"I don't want to be living five miles away; or be the sister that visits every now and again, I want to _know _this baby – bond with it," Alexis said quietly; just for Kate's ears only, knowing that paparazzi were everywhere and could be undercover; sniffing out gossip like little rats scuttling around at your feet.

"I don't want to be _there _when the baby says her first words, or takes her first steps. I want to be at home, with my family," she spoke softly as she leant across the table.

Kate knew what it felt like to live away from home when everything was changing and she could relate to the young girl, but she still wasn't seeing her reasoning.

"You'll be at college most days anyway, so you will still be there a great deal of the time," Kate questioned the young girl so she could understand her reasons better.

"I know, but, the days I'm not at college I want to be at home, I want to have tea with you all; watch when the baby has her first taste of solid food, how her face will scrunch up at the taste and texture…" she smiled as her eyes left Kate's and searched the floor beside her, "I want to be a part of the family, _really _be a part of it," she looked up to Kate, "I don't want to miss out on this; it's such a precious moment and I want to capture it all," she spoke with such tenderness that Kate's heart couldn't take much more love and affection that was beaming out from the young girl sat in front of her, she was sure she would cry if Alexis said even one more sentimental word.

She pulled herself together; it was one thing tearing up at home, but whilst out? Not a chance. She wasn't that far gone. Yet!

"In all honesty? I'd love for you to be at home too, and I'm sure this little one," Kate patted her stomach for effect, "would love it too," she finished with a smile.

The waiter set down their food and they said their thanks before continuing their conversation.

"How do you think dad will take it?" she asked as she took a bite out of her baguette.

"I'm sure he'd reach for the stars to have you back, but if I were you I'd check with him first before you get your heart set on staying for good," Kate replied after swallowing a mouthful of water. Herself and Castle were on the same page completely but she still didn't like to make decisions, especially one like this without his knowledge.

"Hhmmm," Alexis pondered with her own thoughts for a few minutes.

"How was dad at the scan today?" she wondered as the topic of her dad had come up.

"Take a wild guess," Kate grinned.

"Nine year old on a sugar rush?" she bantered back.

"Got it in one, not to mention the ridiculous questions he came out with."

"I don't think I want to know." Alexis said cheekily.

They finished up their food and paid the bill and decided to take a walk through the park, they strolled steadily with their arms linked together as the heat of the day was at its peak; watching as kids ran passed and the laughter of young children filtered around them.

Both Alexis and Kate couldn't help but think what a difference just over a year can make; how different their relationship used to be.

As they were both deep in their own thoughts, Kate's left hand resting subconsciously over her stomach and Alexis had a smile a mile wide across her face, they witnessed a flash from not far in the distance.

Paparazzi.

They'd been followed.

They looked to each other with wide eyes as the realisation set in about what may or may not be gracing page six tomorrow.

**Oooh! I'm such a meanie!**

**Thoughts? : )**

**I left it open for Alexis to move back in, what do you guys want to happen? I don't plan ahead, so if there is anything you'd like to see happen then just drop me a line or a PM.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A.N – lots of great feed-back for that last chapter and varying opinions; which I've taken note of, so I'll do my best to give you guys what you want – I'm trying to find the right balance between Kate/Rick and Alexis/Kate aswell as the pregnancy… so I hope that shows through.**

**Just to clarify – Kate was twelve weeks pregnant in that last chapter – I completely forgot to mention it, and she still is here!**

**Edited 6/12/2012 - a couple of mistakes were pointed out and they bugged me, so i had to change it!**

Rick looked to Kate; his features relaxed, too relaxed considering she had just told him about the picture which the press had snapped of her and Alexis this afternoon.

"What about it?" he shrugged as he made a cup of coffee, obviously more comfortable with the press than Kate is. He loved it, often wished he could be in the lime light more often.

"What about it?" she parroted back at his incredulous, egotistical, self-centred demeanour.

She was pretty mad that he could drink coffee too, proper coffee with actual caffeine. She stared down the mug like she would a suspect.

He noticed the look of pure evil and turned to face her; leaving the coffee hidden at his back on the counter.

"What's the worst that could happen?" he asked, completely unaware of why Kate was worried in the first place. Her bump wasn't noticeable to anyone who didn't know; which was only close family, so who would figure it out? You couldn't tell right now anyway given the baggy shirt she was wearing.

"I and Alexis were talking about our appointment, what if they overheard?" she worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

"You're just being paranoid," he reassured her, although paranoid wasn't the reassurance Kate was after, "and what if they do print it up?" he said gleefully, ready for the whole world to know their news.

"I don't want the guys at the precinct to find out through reading a damn paper," she told him, "I want us," she gestured between the two of them, "to tell them this," she finished, placing a hand across her stomach.

"Ok," he agreed, as he moved towards where she was standing across from him and placed a kiss to the top of her head. "I'll call Paula, tell her to do damage control," he comforted her nerves.

"It's probably just a crack pot story anyway," he finished with a squeeze of her shoulders.

"Hmm," you're probably right, but when the press need to know, I want it to be on our terms, I want to have complete control over what they do and don't know," she replied as she leaned against his chest, some of her worry now evaporating in the security of his embrace.

He does, after all know about the press and how they work… a lot better than she does.

"When do you want to tell our family at the precinct then?" he wondered, secretly hoping it would be soon because he was sure he would burst with excitement if he had to keep it a secret any longer.

"Oooh, I have an idea," he said quickly, as if a light bulb had been flicked on. She looked up to see him wiggling his eyebrows in that, oh… so adorable way.

"Send a picture message," they said in unison.

They smiled at each other in a loved up, completely happy way that was almost cheesy.

He kissed her lips softly and passionately, he loved it when they thought the same way and spoke it out loud at exactly the same time – he had the urge to push her up against the nearest surface, this time it was the bannister of the stairs.

"Alexis," she stuttered in between kisses, "upstairs," she informed in of his daughters whereabouts, her already sensitive skin being set to a scorching flame at the ministrations of his mouth.

He growled, mainly because he hated hearing about his daughter when he was trying to do certain _things _to/with Kate.

"Bedroom," he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her along with him.

It's safe to say the phone call to Paula was delayed, as were the messages to their friends.

Xxxxxx

Later on that evening they sent the messages out to their friends; Lanie, Espo, Ryan and Jenny. Apart from those four people they weren't particularly interested in anyone else knowing, the only other person Kate wanted to inform was Maddie; although they don't speak or meet up as often as they should (mainly due to both women having hectic careers) they go way back to high school and pick up where they left off after not seeing one another for a while, so it was only normal to inform her best friend from high school.

Of course castle had had to tell Paula when he rang earlier to dig up any info from the picture in the park; and as of yet nothing pregnancy related had crossed her desk, which Kate and Castle were delighted about – although there might be a headline, it certainly wasn't to do with Kate's pregnancy.

The picture on the screen was very clear and in the subject it read; I'm due in January, love from Kate, Bump and Rick x

Now they were just waiting for the phone to blow up with over excited replies.

Kate and castle chuckled when they received Espo's reply, especially after he missed out on being godfather to Ryan and jenny's baby. '_Congrats dudes. Pleased for ya. P.S I'm calling god father!'_

Lanie's reply was, as expected, over the top. They could practically hear her high pitched squealing. '_About damn time, this baby will be cuter than Brangelina's little one, just you see… well done ;) x'_

'_I knew you wanted to make little Castle babies :D congratulations – see you soon. M.x'_

Kate's mind went back to that day in the interrogation room and relived the memory, not forgetting Castle's little jibes here and there for days after, nothing less than she would expect really.

Jenny and Ryan's reply was more reserved, and she could just imagine them both with big grins plastered across their faces. '_We had our suspicions! It's wonderful news, you'll both be great parents.'_

Of course Ryan and Jenny would have figured it out, the conversations she had had with Jenny when she was pregnant were a big give away. She was just grateful they had kept it to themselves, and judging by her team's reaction; they had done just that.

Although she did have a sneaky suspicion that they all had bets riding on it – just as Castle had with Jenny.

Alexis wandered into the room moments after their laughter had subsided from the replies they had received.

"What's so funny?" she asked, wanting to be in on the joke.

"We've told the guys at the precinct about the baby," Castle beamed, "and their reactions were just what we imagined they would be," he said, chuckling again slightly at Lanie's reaction in his head.

Alexis smiled, then a thought occurred to her, you could practically see it rushing through her brain, "can I tell my friends?" she looked to her father then to Kate.

"Yea, I mean," castle jumped in, then paused as he looked at Kate.

"Just tell the people you trust, we don't want the papers getting wind of it just yet," Kate supplied, taking in the eager look on Alexis' face.

Alexis sat on the chair opposite them on the couch and sent out a few messages, the replies were almost instant and judging by the big smile on her face the reactions were positive ones.

A few moments passed between them before Alexis broke the silence, "daaad," she drew out his name slowly, not so subtly indicating that she wanted something.

"Dauuughter," was his response, mimicking Alexis.

"You know in September when I _should _be moving back to dorms?" she said it as a question and castle immediately knew what was coming, he could read his daughter better than one of his books.

"Can I not go back? Just live here instead?" she asked with bright eager eyes, fiddling with her fingers as she awaited his answer.

"I'd love to have you back Alexis, you know that, but I think…" he paused to find the right explanation, as he did Alexis' face dropped to one of disappointment, she knew when there was a 'but' it normally meant no.

She waited for his answer anyway to see what he had to say, what his reasons were.

"You're growing up – well you are grown up, don't you think its best you find your way in the world? Make your mark?" he spoke softly to a disappointed Alexis.

"Yea but dad… what about when the baby comes? I want to be here," she complained.

"And you will be," he sat forward and put his hands together in front of him, "every weekend and every holiday," he gave her a small smile.

"But what about in the week?" I could help?" she was pushing her own reasons forward as much as she could.

"you'll have classes, there won't be much time for you to spare, and having a crying baby up at all hours and distracting you from your work isn't something you need to put up with," he let out a sigh, finding it hard to explain.

"what I mean is, second year will be hard enough anyway without the baby, look at your first year and how stressed it made you… now imagine double the work load and stress, then throw a baby into the mix?" he raised his eyebrows in question as he watched her head concentrate on her knees. Alexis knew he was right and was only looking out for her well-being, but that didn't mean she wasn't left feeling displeased.

"Yea, you're right," she said, her body and tone deflated.

"We love you and we'll always be here for you, you know that, right?" Kate spoke up now, trying to reassure the young girl who looked, in all honesty, sad.

"We'll send you updates, pictures, videos, you name it," castle piped up, an idea that fell right off his tongue.

"Weekly updates?" she asked, brightening up a little.

"Daily updates," he replied with a smile now that his daughter had been reassured.

"Ok" she agreed with a slight smile as she got up to give both her dad and Kate a hug before she headed out to go to her room.

"You think she's ok?" castle asked Kate, now feeling guilty at pushing his daughter to live away from home.

"I think she'll be just fine, she knows we love her and are here for her, besides, she loved her first year at college," Kate replied, trying to ease his guilt ridden conscience as she curled into his side and let her head rest on his shoulder.

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her onto his lap, wrapping one arm around her and letting the other rest atop her little swell of a stomach; silently enjoying being wrapped up in each other's arms.

Xxxxxx

Castle woke early the next morning to his phone signalling he had a message; he scrambled around in his sleepy state to find his phone on the night stand and rubbed his eyes as he noted the time – _5.07AM. _

He sat up and swiped his thumb across the screen, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the bright light.

It was from Paula.

Shit.

The subject line read: no story of pregnancy, but thought I'd give you the heads up on what has been printed.

There was a picture of Alexis and Kate walking through the park with their arms linked together, both smiling brightly in the direction of the camera. He thought it was a beautiful picture that he'd want to get framed until he read the first headline and first few sentence of the article.

'_Quite the mother figure._

_Richard Castle's (best-selling author) daughter and girlfriend enjoyed a walk through the park yesterday afternoon looking very cosy, we were wondering; as the young girl's mother is out of the picture, is that role now down to Kate Beckett? The inspiration for Nikki Heat.'_

Castle gulped, then thought about calling Paula, but there wasn't a lot she could do now that it was already out there.

He would definitely make sure to put something official down to prevent the press freely taking pictures of his daughter and writing ridiculous stories that could upset her, just because she is eighteen doesn't mean the rules still don't stand from when she was under eighteen.

He'd always loved the press for their support and positive reviews, but after reading that little piece he wasn't sure he liked them much at all anymore.

It was only a small piece, but it was there none the less.

Xxxxxx

"They get _that _from a measly photo?" Kate asked, somewhat shocked after reading the article.

"Tell me about it," he sighed.

"What're you going to do?"

"Hide it and hope she doesn't see it," he replied, thinking he could keep this from her; protect her.

"Castle, you can't just…"

Kate was cut off as Alexis walked down the stairs and spoke.

"Hide what from who?" she asked curiously.

There were definitely times when he didn't care much for his daughter's curious mind; this time was one of them.

He glanced over at Kate who raised her eyebrows at him and shrugged her shoulders.

"There's something on page six I think you should see," he told her begrudgingly as he slid the paper over the island in Alexis' direction.

Alexis watched as the paper slowly made its way to her.

"If it's the article about me and Kate then I've already seen it," she informed her father with a wave of her hand.

"You have?" he questioned a little surprised.

"Yea, _I am_ your daughter, some of your stalker followers also follow me on twitter too you know," she grinned, trying to make light of a not so nice situation, "they tweet me all sorts," she told him like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"And you're ok?"

"Yea… why wouldn't I be? I've lived with you in the press for most of my life, I know how pathetic the papers can be," she told him with a convincing smile.

He was momentarily speechless about how grown up his daughter was acting.

"I've got a shopping date with Paige, catch you guys later," she said cheerily and waved as she left the loft.

"Bye Alexis." Kate called.

"Yea… bye," castle replied a little slower.

"You ok?" Kate asked as she rubbed his arm, knowing that that little discussion had surprised him a little. Well a lot.

"I sometimes forget she's grown up with all of this," he pointed to the paper, then looked to Kate.

"There's no way the press are getting near our baby," he said sternly; almost possessively, then kissed her cheek.

"Whatever happens, you're a wonderful father, and you will continue to be a wonderful father," she smiled; a big grin full of love and appreciation for the man standing beside her.

He grinned, "that was one of the first things you fell in love with, wasn't it." It wasn't a question, he already knew the answer.

"don't push your luck for compliments," she warned him playfully as she poked his chest.

"oooh, and Maddie was right… you just couldn't resist this," he bantered with her, rubbing his chest dramatically.

Kate rolled her eyes, he definitely got the drama from Martha.

"Oh castle… I think you'll find it was the other way round," she smirked, "you. couldn't resist me," she winked and then walked away, Castle following closely behind and absolutely loving playful Kate.

She stopped and turned on her heels and lifted an eyebrow at Castle's close proximity.

"I'm going for a shower," she grinned as his face lit up with hope.

"and…" she paused just to wind him up, "you're, not, coming," she spoke slowly as she walked to the bathroom – an extra sway in her hips, knowing castle would be admiring her backside.

"oh… but I could be," he grinned wickedly as he followed her anyway.

"I think you've done enough of that," she reminded him slyly.

He _definitely_ loved a flirty and playful Kate Beckett.

***I'm not sure what possessed me to go into the press - but it just happened. That ending? I had to!**

**Thoughts? : )**

**Shall I leave Alexis as she is? or have her having a little discussion with Kate about what was said in the press? And/or Moving back to college?**


	24. Chapter 24

**A.N – thanks for your lovely reviews for the last chapter, it's great to know you're all still enjoying this : )**

**I hope you enjoy Chapter 4…**

**Disclaimer – I don't own anything… **

_15 weeks pregnant._

Alexis had been overly quiet for the last few weeks. Since the newspaper article and Rick telling her she couldn't move back permanently it was like she had separated herself from them, withdrawn completely.

Family movie nights were few and far between, and when she would agree to them; mainly to keep her dad off her back, she would make some excuse or another to leave before the night had barely begun.

Anything pregnancy related had been kept to a minimum, she wouldn't offer up any snippets of information she had found out or any opinions she had out of the blue like she usually would, and she'd find something to distract to distract herself with if Kate initiated any baby talk.

It was almost like she was distancing herself, and when she had refused a shopping trip for maternity clothes a little over a week ago it started to worry Kate; niggle away at her thoughts.

It worried Castle too, only he was more laid back about it, had said she was just preparing for her return to college in a couple of weeks, that she sometimes wraps herself in a bubble to focus on anything and everything college related.

But Kate being the detective, the person who questioned everything, it just didn't sit right with her and she wasn't buying Castle's explanation, her mind had thought up different scenarios, opinions and questions about the situation. She wasn't satisfied with Castle's answer; she needed Alexis' own words for her peace of mind.

Xxxxxx

Kate's belly had grown over the last few weeks; almost doubled in size, it was now noticeable under her clothes, unless she wore her trench coat that covered it up; the press had no knowledge of her pregnancy and she wanted to keep it that way, especially after the little stunt they pulled the other week. She wasn't going to offer them a grain of information on her pregnancy.

They have cut their nose off to spite their face she had told Castle when he questioned her about it, which he had agreed with.

She was beginning to wonder though why she should hide her pregnancy; she should be showing it off.

_It'll drive the press crazy too, knowing about it but not actually knowing anything at all, _she thought to herself as she lay on her back on the bed.

She was bought out of her day dreaming by Castle beginning his climb onto the bed from where her feet lay; he climbed up and stopped at her stomach, lifting up her shirt to expose the rounded pale flesh and gently placed his hands either side of her bump.

He shifted forward and placed tender little kisses all over her skin, "hey baby," he spoke softly between kisses.

"Hey," Kate grinned at her own little joke. Then Castle looked up and gave her one of his biggest, beautiful smiles; the ones she has been seeing a lot more of just lately.

He made his way slowly to her and hovered above her on his elbows; making sure to not squish 'smidge' as he now called their baby – he'd reeled off a whole host of names, and smidge seems to have took his fancy.

"The baby gets kisses before I do?" she teased him, "I see how it is," she smirked.

He didn't reply, he kissed her instead, whispers of kisses around her face; her forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks, dotting them all over until he found his way to her mouth and kissed her passionately – his tongue dancing slowly with hers. It wasn't a kiss that was desperate or rough with need or want, it was full of love and adoration.

She was blown away at this affection she was receiving from him; it was familiar of course, she received this kind of attention from him every day but it still warmed her up completely and had her heart spilling over with her own love for him.

"I love you," she told him as she focused her eyes intently on his.

He stayed perched above her, eyes gazing to each other's, "and I love you," he spoke tentatively, smiled a little smile and kissed her again.

He pulled away and moved onto his side to face her, letting his hand rest across her still exposed stomach as his other hand supported his head so he could look down to see her face.

"Can you believe that the little smidge," he spoke as his thumb circled soothing patterns over her bump, "is floating around in their and kicking away…" he voiced his thoughts as his imagination conjured up some very vivid images of a tiny baby swimming around in her womb.

She smiled at him; all bright and glowing as she knew what he was picturing, she loved his imagination; it made her think the same way too, most of the time.

"Can you feel it yet?" he wondered, even though he knew it was a silly question; he would be the first to know if she felt anything, but sometimes silly questions just popped right out. He couldn't help it, not when he got all excited with the thoughts of their baby.

"You'll know as soon as I do," she told him, just as eager to feel the baby kick for the first time as he was.

"You won't be able to feel it straight away though, apparently it's like little flutters at first," she reminded him as she placed one of her hands across his and squeezed gently.

"But I get to feel it first," he said with a look that could put a kid at Christmas to shame.

"Of course, I wouldn't want it to be anyone else," she smiled at him and then closed her eyes, relaxed.

Moments of contented silence passed between them before Castle just had to go and ruin the moment by going down the road he can't seem to stay away from.

"you're boobs have grown… a lot," he informs her like she hadn't noticed, "I like it… a lot" he grinned with a devilish look upon his face, hoping she wouldn't pull her gun on him, although secretly his imagination pulled all sorts of images of Kate with a gun – usually they came from the gutter side of his brain.

She opened her eyes and gave him one of her best glares, followed by an eye roll, trying her best to hold back a chuckle.

She couldn't wait to see what rolled out of his mouth next.

"I mean I've always loved your chest… but…" he pointed to her boobs; noting the glare still their, then rightly shut up if he knew what was good for him.

"These big boobs that you love oh, so much," she started playfully, "are starting to produce milk," she stated that little bit of information with a pat to his hand.

He sobered up when he asked his next question, they hadn't really thought of much past the baby being born, they were too wrapped up in her pregnancy.

"Are you going to breastfeed?" he asked, his face a serious expression.

To Kate it wasn't even a question, she hadn't thought twice about not giving it a go, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. It was, after all, the only reason she was producing milk in the first place.

"Yes of course… if I can, it's best for the baby," came her quick reply.

"If you can?" he wondered.

When Meredith was pregnant she had told him right from the off that she wasn't going to breast feed – apparently she didn't have the time for a baby hanging from her nipple, not with her career.

And as he was young and careless - more or less, and didn't really have the first clue, he let Meredith take over… until she took off that is.

"It can be quite painful at first… so I've heard, and sometimes the baby has trouble latching onto the nipple," she informed him of her knowledge that she had picked up from the internet and baby books.

He nodded his head, taking in her words… but made a mental note to look up breast feeding in the near future.

"Well, I'm right behind you," he offered his support, "and if you can't do it at least you can say you tried, and I know you, you'll only give up if you _really _have to."

She leaned up and kissed him quickly on his lips; her thank you.

She turned on her side and threw her leg over his hip to snuggle into him, his hand automatically come to rest on her thigh – always needing to touch her, especially when they were this close, even over a year later the need was still there, to touch, to caress, to worship. Sometimes it was because he needed to, other times; like this, was just because he could and well… he wanted to. He'd never tire of the way she felt, her smooth skin at his finger-tips.

He also knew she found it soothing, the gentle touches and strokes or the feather light tickles that would relax her. Sometimes it would arouse her and fill her with a burning need and he loved both of those sides of Kate; heck he loved all the sides of Kate.

But right now she was content with the patterns his fingers were tracing up and down her leg, lulling her into a half asleep still half awake state.

Although she was relaxed he could almost hear her thoughts whizzing through her brain at a mile a minute; envisioned her brain cogs working over time, he studied her face and the crease in her brow told him something was worrying her. He could sense it almost.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked softly as his hand that lay on her thigh made its way up to caress her face, soft strokes of his fingers that coaxed her out of her doze.

She'd slept for most of the afternoon; apparently her 'energetic phase' of pregnancy wasn't all that energetic today, and he knew she wouldn't sleep tonight if he left her to nap much longer, then she would be annoyed with herself for sleeping too long and probably blame him for letting her.

"Alexis," she said on a sigh.

"I've told you… she'll be fine, you're worrying over nothing," he tried to remind her.

"No," she spoke slowly, softly "it's more than college preparation, I know it is. She's distanced herself away from us… the baby," she confirmed.

Castle had known Alexis was preoccupied with other things and put her lack of enthusiasm down to college stuff, but hearing Kate's worries had him wondering.

"Oh…" he stated, "why do you think that?" he asked.

"I've racked my brain over and over and the only thing I can think of is that she doesn't want to get too attached and then have to move away," she sighed and closed her eyes before continuing, "doesn't want to make moving away again harder than it already will be."

Castle felt his guilt slowly creeping back in and rubbed a hand across his face.

She knew what he was feeling, "Hey, it's not your fault, you're right about her going back to dorms," she reminded him, trying to ease his guilt ridden conscience.

"I'll talk to her?" it was a question, although he couldn't think of anything to say, other than what he had already told his daughter.

"Let me?" she smiled, "I feel like I should," she told him as her hand rested at his shoulder.

"OK," he said with a nod of his head and placed a kiss to her forehead.

Xxxxxx

"Alexis? Can we talk for a second?" Kate spoke as she leaned against the door frame of Alexis' bedroom, the door itself wide open.

"I was just going to go for a shower actually," Alexis replied, but the books spread out in front of her on her bed and the furious speed of her handwriting told Kate a different story.

"Can it wait?" Kate questioned, not wanting to give her the chance to bury her feelings; avoid whatever it was that she _was _feeling.

"I'm meeting Paige soon," she tried to worm her way out. It wasn't a lie, not really. She was meeting Paige, just not as soon as she had led Kate to believe.

"Well then I'll make it quick," Kate told her as she walked across the bedroom and perched on the edge of Alexis' dresser and looked in the direction of where Alexis was sitting; crossed legged on her bed, notebook resting on her knee and a pen dancing in between her fingers.

"How are you?" Kate asked, not waiting for Alexis to look up from her notebook.

"I'm fine," she replied kindly, eyes still glued to the pad of paper.

Kate didn't want to play this cat and mouse game, not again, she'd done it so many times in the past, so instead she tried another tactic.

"OK." She said, a little bit of her psychology training coming into play, then got up to leave, she paused and turned to look back to Alexis as she got to the door; who was now looking in her direction, "but if you're not ok, you can tell me," she finished and made her way to leave.

"Kate? Wait," Alexis called her back and held out a hand next to her, silently offering Kate to take a seat beside her.

Kate sat down and waited for Alexis to start, she had offered the olive branch; it was now up to Alexis to grab it.

Alexis dropped her head to look at her knees, "I'm not fine, not really," she spoke quietly fiddling with the pen in her hands.

"I know… something's been eating away at you… what is it?" Kate questioned, knowing the girl sometimes needed a push; just like she did.

"What the paper said… do you," she sighed "do you feel like you _have _taken over the role as my mom?"

Kate kept her game face on but inside she was surprised at the question, and she was rattling her brain for the right thing to say; she was weary of this subject and knew she needed to tread carefully when giving her answer, especially as she had no idea what Alexis thought of her in that respect. Yes they were like friends; just as Kate had wanted in the first place, but mom territory? That was completely new ground for the both of them.

"Alexis… I…" Kate tripped over her words, trying to find the right thing to say, but then Alexis helped her out and threw a comment for her to hang onto.

"You _are _like my Mom, I mean in terms of being there, my mom just floats in when she feels like it, but you're…" she lifted her head to see Kate's reaction, "you're… always there when I need someone to be there," she spoke softly.

"My solid ground," she whispered her last comment as her eyes studied Kate's face.

What was Kate to say to that? She couldn't just ignore Alexis' heartfelt speech, of sorts and nor did she want to, so she smiled lovingly to Alexis, trying again to find what to say.

"I'll _always _be here for you," Kate started as she took hold of Alexis' hand and squeezed it tightly in her own.

"Whenever you need to talk, or need advice on _anything,"_ she reminded her as her thoughts went back to the day she had broken up with Ashley and how Alexis had trusted her completely with something so intimate and personal.

Alexis nodded her head but didn't reply.

"I won't ever replace your mom," Kate said softly hoping with all she had that she was saying the right thing, "I wouldn't want to replace mine," she told Alexis the truth, then paused to gather her thoughts.

Alexis waited for Kate to continue, her face one of complete concentration taking in everything Kate was telling her.

"But if you need a stand in," she smiled, hoping her use of words would help lighten Alexis' mood, "then I'm here," she finished with a squeeze of her hand, hoping Alexis knew that she meant every word.

And she did, her expression told Kate she had hit the nail on the head.

Alexis cleared the books from off the bed, dumped them on the floor and laid back. All excuses of a shower and meeting Paige long forgotten.

She closed her eyes as her head hit the pillow and let out a sigh, her arms folded across her face.

Kate swivelled round to face Alexis, "there's something else isn't there?" she asked, knowing the girl too well and that she was fighting with herself to pluck up the courage to say what she wanted to.

"I don't want to move out." Alexis considered how whiny she sounded, and how childlike she was acting, but she continued regardless.

"I know it's for the best and all, it's just…" she stalled, removing her arms from her face to look at Kate who had her eyes fixed on Alexis' face.

"It will be harder leaving this time, you know - what with the baby and everything."

"I know," Kate replied sympathetically, fully understanding what the young girl was saying, "but you will be back all the time, weekends and holidays don't forget." She reminded her.

"I know, I really do, but I miss you guys so much when I'm not here," she said with suspiciously looking sparkly eyes, reliving how much she missed being at home towards the end of last term, "and I'll miss it even more when my brother or sister comes along," she told Kate quietly whose hand automatically went to rest over her bump.

"I tell you what," Kate started as she rested her other hand over Alexis' ankle, "how about we break the week up?"

"How do you mean?" Alexis wondered.

"Well… we could come and see you once a week?" she replied with a smile, hoping it would help a little.

"What about a Wednesday evening?" Alexis chirped in, already absorbed in Kate's plan.

"It's a date… we could go out for tea, just stop by for a hot chocolate, even go for a walk," Kate listed off a few things using her fingers.

"As long as you're there it won't matter what we do," Alexis replied honestly, happily accepting Kate's idea of a midweek visit.

"When I'm back at work after the baby is born it may be more difficult for me to join you," she reminded her that her working schedule would eventually have to get back to normal, "but your dad will visit either way, I'm sure of it," she smiled.

"Thanks Kate."

"Anytime."

She left Alexis soon after and made her way to tell Rick about the plan she had made for him… without him, she scrunched her nose up at how that sounded in her head, but she knew Rick would be on board with it one thousand percent.

Then another thought occurred to her.

Work - after the baby is born.

That little conversation may have eased Alexis' worries, but it had just opened up a whole new set for Kate.

**Thoughts…? **


	25. Chapter 25

**A.N – sorry for the delay guys but my muse for this story decided to pack her bags and leave me for a few days. I know… she's cruel! But she's back now : ) this chapter is nearly five thousand words so I hope that makes up for it!**

**Disclaimer – They're not mine… Andrew Marlowe still has all the control!**

Kate padded down the stairs with a feeling like the weight the world had landed on her shoulders.

She sat down next to Castle and a sigh left her lips, she twisted her body so her feet were resting in his lap and the side of her face leant against the back of the couch.

Castle could feel the tension and stress rolling off her body in waves, he looked at her and saw her eyes closed and her brow creased, the ultimate give away that something was worrying her, his eyes dropped down to her stomach and he witnessed her gently caressing her small bump.

His hands moved to slip off her socks so he could massage her feet, moving his hand up the inside of her trouser leg every now and then, it was almost like he was trying to draw the tension from her body… take it away from her.

At the contact of his hands on her feet and lower leg she let out a contented moan, wiggling her toes when his thumb came into contact with the ball of her foot just below her big toe.

She opened her eyes and saw the concentrated look on his face – doing his upmost to relax the pressure in her body.

He felt her eyes on him and he turned his head to look at her, "what's on your mind?" he asked as his hands stayed at her feet.

_What's on your mind? _She silently asked herself and then answered her subconscious, _what isn't? _

She didn't reply straight away, she was figuring it out in her own head before she planted the seed of worry into his over active imagination.

"Hey…" he grabbed her attention, the firm massaging of her foot became softer, one of comfort now, "you can tell me anything," he reassured her.

They'd been together for over a year now but that didn't mean she sometimes still didn't need a push in the right direction.

"It's work," she told him, her eyes slipping shut once more as her hands stilled over her bump, almost like she was protecting the little life inside of her from the harsh words she was about to say.

His eyes stayed trained to her face, not missing how she was hugging her mid-section.

He didn't reply, stayed silent as he knew there was more to come, it's how she worked, she would feed him little snippets before eventually letting it all spill free.

"After the baby is born," she looked at him then and reached for his hand, needing some form of contact.

He laced their fingers together and waited, like he always did.

He knew what was coming.

"It's all well and good now… I'm on desk duty," she squeezed his hand as the thoughts of leaving him, and their baby without a mother flooded her mind, she took a deep breath in and tried to steady her racing thoughts, stop the panic that was brewing.

"What about when I'm back out in the field? Line of fire… facing life and death situations practically every day," she informed him of her worries which sent his writers imagination running at a mile a minute, he knew all too well how dangerous it was, he'd watched her die in the back of an ambulance, she'd nearly frozen to death in his arms, not to mention the countless times she has narrowly missed bullets.

He kept his poker face in play though, she didn't need to know he was just as concerned as she was.

A lone tear made its way down her cheek and she shuffled up so she could curl into his side, melt into him as he kept her grounded, keep her safe, in his arms. Always.

She buried her face into his neck and kissed him softly there.

"I'm scared," she all but breathed her words into him a few moments later, "of so much."

He held her tighter to him then and wrapped both arms around her like his life depended on it as he kissed the top of her head, once, twice.

Kate Beckett came across as fearless, invincible almost and she herself would often think that nothing could take her down, she let no one ever see her vulnerable side, she'd hole it up until she got home and would cry it out in the bath or shower, curled up in bed or with a stiff drink.

Castle rarely saw this side of Kate; the frightened and childlike side, and he knew for her to admit to him that she was scared that it must really terrify the shit out of her.

"Tell me," he coaxed her softly, holding her head to his neck. He knew she could talk better like this, that she didn't feel as exposed when he couldn't see her face, many of their issues were spoken about late into the night curled up in bed, her head resting on his chest or buried into his side, and he really didn't mind at all just as long as she would actually open up to him.

"Tell me what you're scared of Kate," he asked again gently, although he wasn't sure he wanted to really hear it – but knew she had to get it off her chest, have him comfort her and help her through what she was thinking and feeling.

She breathed him in, almost like she couldn't get enough of the smell of him, her hand played with the hairs at the back of his neck as her eyes remained closed.

"What if one day I don't come home?" she started softly. _What if I die on the job._

"What if our baby never gets to know her mommy?" Her eyes opened as her tears began their escape, she let out a sigh.

"What if this baby turns out like me? Let's a murder take over her life."

_What if._

_What if._

_What if._

She spoke in a stutter as her throat became thick with emotion, "I can't leave you to be a single father, I just can't do that to you," she finished on a whisper as her thoughts began to take over her mind and body, she gripped the back of his neck with more force than she realised, her other hand like a vice grip in his shirt at his stomach.

He let her hold on, understood she needed to be close, him being the only person that could stop her going into a free fall of emotion and tipping right over the edge with panic.

"You're good at your job, Kate," he reminded her, "you're one of the best." He was speaking to try and calm both of their rattling nerves.

"I know you have a solid team behind you every step of the way, and I _know _you would never put yourself in harm's way… you're smart," he continued, hoping his words were having some sort of calming effect on her.

"You can't live life by _what ifs_."

Minutes of silence passed between them as Kate let Castle's words sit in her head, her heart, soaking them up, allowing them to ground her.

"There are thousands of mothers out there Kate that do the same job as you, and they go home every night and tuck their children into bed, kiss them good night, watch them reach all those milestones and surprise them every day in every way, don't let _what ifs _and your fear take over the joy and happiness of something so precious," he told her and let his hand tickle up and down her arm.

"Think about all the positives, you _will _come home and enjoy our baby growing up into a beautiful young person, and you will make damn sure you do your best every single day to do just that, now more than ever… I know you will," he finished sincerely, honesty written all over his face.

She sighed, something that sounded like relief – his words always calm her and keep her in reality, make her see things differently. Positively.

She knows it won't be easy, but it will sure as hell be worth it, just to walk through that door every night and be greeted by her family, their baby, the wonderful bundle of joy that they created.

Her grasp on him loosened and he knew his words had helped, for now.

She kissed him, strong, passionate and gentle all at the same time, she pulled back after a short time and rested her head on his shoulder, her hand coming up to play with the sprinkling of hair that peeked out of his shirt at his chest.

They sat like that for a while, nestled in together, close.

Evening turned into night and they watched through the windows as the sun set and night time fell upon the city, a scattering of bright twinkling stars appeared across the night sky… the moon was full and puffs of grey clouds floated by, it was magical really, stunning actually to witness the evening turn to night. A romantic moment shared between them without even trying.

They lay and watched the changes in the sky, trying to pick out recognisable shapes in the clouds, naming different stars that were sprinkled in the sky.

They stayed like that for hours, two, three? Who knows? And who cares really, they were enjoying just being together.

Kate let out a sigh, some of the tension from earlier was still residing inside her and she needed to let go, forget everything… just for a short time. She needed Castle to make all those feelings disappear, send her over the edge of pleasure instead of throwing herself over the edge of worry.

Her hand came up to rest at his cheek and she let her thumb caress under his eye, she peppered kisses along his neck, his jaw, before finding his lips and kissing him deeply, full of love and desire and want and need.

She eventually brought her lips to his ear, nudging her cheek softly against his, "take me to bed, Castle," she whispered.

Xxxxxx

They lay on their sides later that evening, Kate's back tucked against Castle's chest – his hands resting across her stomach.

He knew when she was blissfully sated that she was open and pliant, and he was aware that his next trick was a crafty one to play, but he thought there was no harm in trying.

"Why don't you give up work? You won't ever want for anything, I can afford it… _we_ can afford it," he amended the last of his sentence as he kissed the back of her neck.

She wasn't stupid, she knew exactly what he was trying to do, he'd tried before to get her to agree to things that he knew she would never in a million years dream of doing.

_Sneaky bastard._

"I know what you're doing," Kate replied quite smugly as she pictured the ridiculous frown that was more than likely plastered all over his face because he'd been foiled. Again.

She turned in his arms then and patted his cheek, much like you would a child.

"you think because I'm in a state of post coital bliss that I'll agree to anything – which is ridiculous – that you suggest," she narrowed her eyes at him as he went to protest his complete innocence, "and before you try and worm your way out, I know what you're like… you've pulled this card before," she grinned as he pouted at her, his face one hundred percent like a nine year old who had just been caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

He wiggled his eyebrows at her after a few seconds, and a grin lit up his face, almost like he had found a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

"You didn't say no."

She rolled her eyes.

"It's a never," she informed him, quite matter-of-fact as she slung a leg over his hip and got comfortable, "you should know that," she murmured, sleep already beginning to take over.

And he did know, more than anyone that Kate Beckett was as strong and independent as they come and would never want to live of someone else's money, be a kept woman.

But Castle being Castle now had that idea planted in his head… and boy did he love a challenge, no way would he stop trying.

Xxxxxx

_18 weeks pregnant_

Kate's bump was taking shape nicely now and it was evident to strangers that she was expecting.

She was carrying a baby the size of a melon that was growing rapidly every day, and because of her slight figure she could most definitely feel the difference in weight, not to mention it was because of her enormous appetite. The only downfall she was feeling during this phase was heartburn, which usually followed after a large meal, so instead of eating three meals she had to cut it down into six smaller meals throughout the day; and that didn't bother her as long the heartburn was kept at bay.

On the plus side though, she felt incredibly sexy and more feminine than she had ever felt; she thought it was down to her hormones and the thought of creating a life… she loved that thought.

Not to mention her breasts were fuller and growing every day, they may be more sensitive but that was a plus sometimes too!

She quite enjoyed the hormones – since the morning sickness and exhaustion had completely disappeared – especially as it made _everything _more sensitive and intense.

She couldn't complain really, she was quite happily enjoying her pregnancy right now, especially as she would receive constant compliments of how positively glowing she was.

She had the day off work as today was the day they saw off Alexis back to her dorm.

Kate had spent most of the night before helping Alexis pack up different things until they called it a night to finish up the rest in the morning.

So here she was back in the young girl's room organising the last of the things that Alexis wanted to take with her.

"You okay?" Kate asked, noticing the girl's jolly and excited persona from the night before had evaporated.

Alexis turned her head to Kate who was stood by her bed folding some of her clothes and placing them with precision into the box that was in front of her.

"Yea," she smiled brightly, "just deep in thought about everything that needs to be done when I get there, that's all," she explained her quietness and deep thinking.

"Good," Kate replied, relieved that the girl wasn't anxious about her move back to college.

She made her way across the room to where Alexis was rooting through a drawer and picking out odd little things to take with her, photos, and ornaments… reminders of home.

Kate placed a hand on Alexis' shoulder and squeezed gently to get her attention, "anything I can help with?" she offered with a smile, willing to do anything for the girl to feel settled, knowing full well how stressful it can be.

"It's just forms that need to be filled out, pick up a few pieces of work and direct debits that need to be set up, that sort of thing," Alexis shrugged at the mundane tasks that needed to be completed later in the day.

"Thanks though," Alexis smiled appreciatively.

"No problem," Kate replied with a small smile of her own, squeezing her shoulder once more before they both kept themselves busy with the tasks they had to finish, effectively putting off their goodbye's until later, neither one not wanting to really do it just yet.

"Are my girls nearly ready?" Castle asked as he bounced into the room with a grin on his face, trying to keep the atmosphere light, knowing that today wasn't going to be easy for any of them.

"Can we just…" Kate waved her hand between herself and Alexis, "have a minute first?" she asked as she taped up the last box.

"Sure," Castle nodded and left the room, leaving Kate and Alexis in a lingering silence.

Alexis looked to Kate, trying to figure out what she wanted; she thought their parting words would be at the campus so she was intrigued.

Kate sat down on the bed and held out an arm for Alexis, silently offering the young girl to join her.

Alexis came and sat down next to Kate, instantly moulding herself into Kate's side when her arm slid around Alexis' shoulders.

"I'll see you soon, OK?" Kate spoke first, her words almost for her own comfort than anything else.

Alexis tensed and pulled back to look at Kate's face, "You're not dropping me off with dad?" she worried.

"of course I am, I just wanted a minute with you alone, that's all," Kate sighed and pulled Alexis closer to her once more and kissed the top of her head, something Castle usually does that Kate has been doing recently too.

"I'll be home at the weekends, and you're coming to visit too," Alexis reminded Kate of their plans, like she was comforting Kate now instead of herself, oh how the tables have turned.

Kate closed her eyes and squeezed Alexis tight, "you know if you need anything…"

"I'll call, no matter how small, regardless of the time," Alexis finished for her, those words being drilled into her brain over the previous few weeks.

They sat together for a few moments in silence, Kate's arms wrapped around Alexis before she patted her knee and broke the silence, "we better get going, you know what dad's like, he'll think we're plotting against him," Alexis joked with a wink which earned a laugh out of Kate.

Since their conversation not long ago, Alexis had seemed to be back to her normal self, and she was quite excited to go back to college, she'd tell Kate and her father all about the extra-curricular's she was going to partake in, informed them of a few people she had met through the college website who were taking some of her classes, she'd rambled on about how she couldn't wait to see some of her old friends, some of which had travelled from abroad, meaning they had been home all summer visiting their family and friends.

But the most fun she had was when she was informing her father about how she just _had _to check out the new club that had opened up recently in town, and Kate had to admit, Castle's reaction was priceless… more so when she joined in with Alexis and winding him up, putting the fear of god into him.

It seemed Kate was the one getting emotional at seeing Alexis off, especially watching her pack up the car.

She stamped down her emotions though and hopped into the drivers seat – she of course was driving, which had Castle whining and pouting about when she told him to shut up and get in the passenger seat – god help her when this baby comes, it'll be like having two children not one!

Xxxxxx

Castle was rooting… messing with things, couldn't leave anything alone, he dipped his hand into the side pocket of the door to reveal bits of paper – receipts of some kind – scrutinizing them at great length.

He picked up an old take away cup and went to throw it out of the window…

"So help me if you throw that through the window," she told him off, to which he retreated slowly, placing the cardboard cup back on the floor.

Kate shook her head at him; she knew he was only fidgety because he was nervous about saying goodbye to his daughter… again.

His next mission was her glove compartment, stifling through her CD collection, making odd comments here and there about what he found.

Kate started tapping her thumb on the steering wheel, a sign that she was getting antsy.

He noticed the collection of CD's weren't in their correct cases so he decided to put it right, only when he had carefully placed the first three and went to organise the fourth did two disks fall out and onto the floor.

"Castle," she warned him.

"Kate you know only two disks go into a case that can hold _two _disks," he informed her of the blatantly obvious.

She rolled her eyes and gave him _the _look.

He gave up eventually and settled back into his seat, watching out the window as the city whizzed by.

Then his phone made an appearance…

Oh no.

The angry bird's theme tune flared to life and Kate would have shinned him if she could, the amount of times she had listened to that damn theme tune was unreal, and boy did it get on her nerves.

"Turn the volume down would ya?" she asked lightly, no hint of annoyance in her voice.

"I like the sound," he replied, as his fingers worked the screen.

Alexis sat forward then from the back of the car, she scooped his phone out of his hands, silenced the volume and handed it right back before he could blink.

"Relax dad," she said softly, knowing that he was tense and that Kate was getting ready to shoot him.

He got fed up of his game and put the phone away not long after and sat back with a sigh.

He turned on the radio.

Uh oh.

Pressed a few buttons to find a decent channel, fiddled with the volume and started singing along when he found a good song.

Kate glanced back at Alexis in the rear view mirror and shook her head slightly trying to stifle a grin.

Alexis raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders in reply, not a lot she could do really when she was cooped up in the back seat.

Kate let him off this time, she knew he needed a distraction, and if that meant listening to him singing – wailing - then so be it. She actually found it quite amusing.

Alexis even started bobbing along to the beat with a smile on her face, so it couldn't be that bad.

In the end Kate followed Alexis' lead and started to dance along too, even singing out a verse here and there while Alexis took the chorus, both women glancing towards each other every now and then with big grins across their faces.

If anyone would have seen them they'd have thought they were out on day release.

All three of them quietened down eventually when the college dorms were nearing; Castle's body language told her immediately that he wasn't looking forward to this.

She pulled the car to a stop and switched off the ignition before placing a hand on Castle's thigh and giving it a reassuring squeeze, he replied with a tight grin and put his hand atop hers.

Alexis witnessed their silent exchange and quietly left the car.

She popped open the trunk and grabbed a box, placing it on her hip and keeping it steady under her arm.

"Could use a little help guys," she teased.

Castle broke out of his trance then and immediately got out to help his daughter, followed by Kate.

Kate reached in to grab a box – momentarily forgetting that she shouldn't be lifting anything too heavy.

Alexis placed her free hand on Kate's shoulder, "you go open up and make some tea… my room is just that way," she nodded her head towards the direction of her building, "keys are in my purse, it's the first floor," she smiled kindly.

A short while later all Alexis' belongings were in her room and Castle was having a good poke around, checking for damp in the bathroom, making sure her windows were secure and inspecting the carpet.

"Daaad, it's fine, I'll be fine," she reassured him, moving across the room to still his wandering form.

"Well, I was just checking, don't want you getting ill from having damp in your bathroom or carpet bugs living under your feet," he told her gently and wrapped his arms around her, then placed a kiss on the crown of her head, breathing in deeply as if committing her scent to memory.

Kate stood back and watched the scene play out before her, resting her hand across her bump, her mind wandering - without her permission – to how he will cradle their baby and kiss sore knees, wipe away tears and tell mesmerising stories, run around playing laser tag and fill the loft with his contagious laughter and childish ways.

A soft smile played at her lips as the thoughts took hold in her mind.

"I'll be in the car," Castle whispered in Kate's ear as he kissed her cheek, bringing her out of her thoughts. Apparently she'd missed the whole father-daughter goodbye while she was trapped in her mind.

She felt a little flutter in her stomach and rubbed her hand gently over her bump, not knowing if it was the baby moving or if it was nerves settling over her she dismissed it and moved over to Alexis who was stood in the middle of the room looking a bit lost.

Kate took both of Alexis' hands in hers and squeezed them tight, looking into the girls eyes which were suspiciously watery.

"Hey?" Kate spoke softly bringing Alexis from the faraway place she had been in, "You ok?"

"Yea, yea I'll be fine," she smiled weakly, "it's just all new… but familiar at the same time," she shrugged her shoulders.

"I know," Kate soothed as Alexis wrapped her arms around Kate's waist and held on, not wanting to let go just yet.

Kate's arms wrapped around the girls shoulders and ran her fingers through her hair, a comfort for her aswell as Alexis.

Alexis let out a sigh and then reluctantly pulled away, "this is ridiculous, I'll be seeing you in a week," she said as a tear fell down her cheek.

"It's not a goodbye _goodbye… _just, goodbye for now," Kate reminded her then gave a quick kiss to Alexis' cheek.

"I'll see you out then?" Alexis smiled as she wiped away another tear that had escaped.

Kate handed Alexis a tissue from the pack that she religiously kept in her pockets as they stood at the door, pulling one out for herself at the same time, knowing as soon as she walked away that the tears would start.

"See you next week." Kate spoke softly, her voice beginning to waver.

"Next week." Alexis replied, her voice just as tight.

Xxxxxx

The ride back was silent, the radio stayed off and Castle's hand didn't move from its resting place on Kate's thigh, his thumb circling small patterns on the outside of her upper leg.

She felt another tiny flutter and this time she wasn't so sure it was nerves, she wanted so desperately to tell Castle what she thought she had just felt, but at the same time she wanted to be certain so she kept stum – perhaps in the car wasn't the most wisest of places to tell him anyway.

They made their way up in the elevator with their hands entwined and Kate leaning into Castle's side, allowing him to take most of her weight.

Castle fished his keys from his jacket pocket and was about to open the door when Kate pulled on his arm, turning around he saw her eyes wide with a huge smile all over her face, her eyes alight with complete amazement and her hand resting on her bump.

"I think the baby just kicked," she breathed, not quite believing it but knowing for certain this time that it _was_ what she had felt, and felt earlier on.

"Really?" he spoke, surprise written all over his face.

"Really," she replied on a laugh.

"What does it feel like?" he asked in complete awe.

"Like butterflies… little flutters," she told him with tears in her eyes, completely overjoyed at this new feeling she was experiencing.

He smiled and pulled her to him in an all-consuming hug, using his actions instead of his words as he was rendered speechless.

He unlocked the door to the loft, grasping her hand in his and pulling her inside, "this is amazing," he told her before leaning in to kiss her softly on her lips.

"I know," she replied, smiling in between the beautiful assault of his mouth.

"I love you," he told her sincerely as his forehead rested against hers.

"I love you, too," she told him in a whisper, closing her eyes as she laced her arms around his waist.

Maybe today hadn't turned out to be so bad after all.

****Still with me and enjoying it? Would love to know your thoughts.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A.N – Thank you for all your wonderful reviews for the last chapter : ) they really do spur me on.**

**Disclaimer – Santa said no.**

**As always, would love to know your thoughts!**

_20 weeks pregnant._

Castle popped his around the bathroom door to find Kate resting in the bath, her fingers touching reverently over the scar on her chest, eyes concentrated on the puckered skin.

He made his way over to her and kneeled down beside the bath, moving back a stray curl of hair that had fallen loose from her bun.

"You ok?" he asked tentatively, noticing she was fixated on the tiny scar.

"It's darker now," she told him, trying to explain what she was thinking.

Castle looked up to the small window with some confusion, "well, yea, it _is _night time," he grinned a little bit, thinking Kate was starting to lose the plot.

"Not the time, you plank, my scar… well both actually," she informed him as she moved her hand away from the one at her chest down to the one at her side that was covered by the water, running her fingers deftly over her surgery scar.

"I've noticed," he replied, of course he had, he'd noticed every single change in her body from the very beginning.

"And this," he traced his finger along the line of dark hair that ran from the middle of her belly just under her bellybutton down to her pubic bone.

She let her head rest back against the tub as his finger tickled her stomach, his actions relaxing her in a heartbeat.

"Just think," Castle began softly with a hint of excitement in his voice, "this time tomorrow we'll know if the baby wriggling around in there is a boy or a girl."

"Hmmm," Kate hummed with a smile on her face, too relaxed to say much else.

Moments of contented silence passed between them, Kate enjoying the faint tickle of Castle's fingers, and Castle admiring the changes to Kate's body, his face was a picture of complete awe and admiration.

"Do you need anything?" he asked as he softly kissed her forehead.

"Just you," she replied with a sleepy tone, completely relaxed.

"You've got me… always," he reminded her with complete honesty and another light kiss to her forehead, almost as if he was kissing the words into her.

And it was the truth, she'd always have him no matter what, he would follow Kate to the ends of the earth and back if he had to.

She lifted her arms to him, a silent question to help her out, he complied, like always, and held his arms out so she could steady herself, then he grabbed a large white fluffy towel and wrapped her up in it, pulling her to him and holding her in his arms, she melted against him and they began to sway slightly, almost like they were slow dancing to a melody only the two of them could hear.

"I like this," she told him quietly as her head rested on his chest, "being wrapped up in your arms," she concluded with a sleepy smile on her face.

"Me too," he breathed out the words, "me too," he finished with a smile covering his own features, his eyes closing and enjoying the moment.

Kate's stomach was growing and fast, and as she expected it was now quite big, it was now fully rounded and hard, and just because of her slim figure it didn't mean her belly was any smaller than it should be, and she prayed to god that most of it was just water as thoughts of giving birth were now taking root in her rain.

She was halfway through her pregnancy now and the baby was extremely active, kicking away at all hours and she often wondered if he or she was learning how to line dance, but it was also a huge comfort for Kate that she could now feel the movements.

Although she could feel their baby moving around Castle had still to feel it for himself, every time his hand would rest across her stomach, all movements would stop, Kate found this quite amusing, but judging by the defeated look in Castle's eyes she knew he was quite disappointed, and every time the baby would move for him it was only slight so he couldn't feel it anyway.

She often wondered if the baby was toying with him; winding him up before he or she is even born.

Xxxxxx

"Kaaate," Castle whined, "were going to be late… Alexis will be waiting around if we don't get a move on."

Castle was stood at the door, ready and raring to go with nearly two hours before their appointment.

"You know…" Kate raised her eyebrows as she left the bedroom, "even if we get their early, we'll still be waiting around," she shrugged her shoulders, letting a smirk cross her lips as she took in Castle's childlike features and his over excited posture, he was practically vibrating with excitement.

"We have to allow for traffic," he tried.

"We already have," she countered.

"What if Alexis is early?" he asked smugly, he knew it would twist her arm to just get _going._

If they didn't leave soon, he would probably start bouncing off the walls like a child who had eaten far too much candy.

She grabbed her jacket and purse and made her way to the door, patting his chest as she moved passed him, "let's go, man-child," she grinned, he really was a little bit adorable when he was acting his shoe size age and not his _actual_ age.

The car ride to the coffee shop was just your regular affair when Castle couldn't control his excitement, he'd fiddled and twisted, pushed and pulled and messed and rattled with practically everything he could get his hands on.

She was used to his ways now, and had learnt from past experience that telling to him to behave would only spur him on to touch things he shouldn't, so she let him carry on fidgeting, throwing an eye roll here and a shake of the head there aswell as a grin in between.

Alexis stood from her seat and raised her hand to get their attention, they shared brief hugs and quick kisses before taking their seats and ordering their preferred drinks.

Kate ordered a chamomile tea to settle her nerves, she had no idea why she was nervous, they had had amniocentesis tests done weeks ago and the baby was healthy.

Castle had bugged her for days to have the test to detect Spina-Bifida and Downs Syndrome and insisted that they go private, so in the end she gave in to his insistent pleas and reasoning.

"You're nervous," Alexis stated the complete obvious as she noticed Kate's fingers tapping rhythmically around her cup.

Castle's head shot to Kate's direction, he'd been so wrapped up in his own over the top feelings that he hadn't really given Kate's emotions a second thought, he automatically thought that she would be just as excited as he was.

Castle reached for Kate's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before dropping it again when she smiled softly at him, her way of saying 'don't worry I'm fine.'

"It'll be fine," Alexis looked to Kate with a smile on her face, reassuring the older woman.

"I know," Kate replied kindly with a smile of her own for Alexis.

"It's just hospitals, they always put me on edge, no matter the reason why we're there," she let her head dip down to concentrate on her cup of tea, anxious energy floating off of her in waves.

_The place I nearly died._

"We're right here with you," Alexis said quietly, reaching out to grip Kate's hand.

Castle's arm came to wrap around her shoulders and he kissed the side of her head.

Kate felt the relief washing through her just from the simple touch from Castle and calming words from Alexis.

She was so completely grateful that she had both Castle's with her for this; she wouldn't want anyone else with her to share this special moment anyway.

The mood between them lightened as they made their way to the hospital - they had conveniently chosen to meet at a café just around the corner from the hospital - Castle and Alexis' contagious joy and laughter reached out to Kate and warmed her up right from her toes to the tips of her fingers.

Kate lay on the bed with Castle sat to her left and Alexis next to Castle, Kate's hand was gripped tight in his as they waited in silence, watching as the nurse completed routine checks, baby's heartbeat, height, head circumference and checking that vital organs such as the heart, liver and kidneys were doing what they should be.

"Baby is perfectly healthy and developing as we would expect for this stage in pregnancy, heartbeat is strong," she informed them as the familiar whooshing sound filled their ears.

The nurse reached for the screen to tilt it in the direction of the three of them, upon seeing their baby, Kate had tears in her eyes, castle sucked in a breath who also had tears in his eyes, and Alexis' jaw dropped at the picture in front of her – she was speechless, all three of them were.

Neither of them could get over seeing the image before them, it looked like an actual baby now, not just like a blob or an alien like they had previously seen.

"I can tell you the gender if you'd like?" the nurse offered as she looked pointedly to Kate and Castle, who simultaneously answered "yes please," which earned a grin from the young nurse.

The nurse pointed to the screen and tapped to the place that indicated their baby's sex.

"It's a boy."

Alexis' hand went to her mouth to stifle the squeal that almost flew out, Castle fist pumped the air followed by a remark of "I knew it," and Kate just stared at the screen transfixed.

"It's a boy," she grinned, "we're having a son," she turned to look at Castle who planted a sloppy kiss to her lips.

"And he isn't shy either," the nurse spoke cheekily as she pointed out the little man's little bits.

"Just like his father then," Kate dead panned, to which Castle just wiggled his eyebrows.

"God help us," Alexis piped up, earning a fake pout from Castle.

Xxxxxx

"Does that mean we can transform the guest room into the nursery now?" Castle asked with hope shining through his eyes later that evening when all the excitement had died down slightly.

"We could have the ceiling like a night sky, dimming spotlights that could act as stars, the walls could be blue covered with stickers of aliens and spaceships… oh Kate," Castle's eyes were dancing, "I have so many ideas," he grinned, his voice a notch higher than necessary.

"No aliens or spaceships," Kate told him, but she couldn't help but smirk at his imagination, "no zombies for that matter, and definitely no ninja assassins," she warned him lightly, knowing full well what he was thinking.

"_And… _we do this together," she reminded him, she could just imagine walking in one day after work to a completed nursery and him telling her that he had gotten carried away and let his ideas run ragged.

"Normal, dad," Alexis spoke up, "think normal and not weird," she smirked at him and patted him on the shoulder.

"Got it, normal and not weird… I can totally do normal," he replied with a faraway look in his eyes, already creating the look of the baby's room in his mind.

Xxxxxx

It had taken a week, and a few days off work for Kate and Castle to get the nursery ready, they had picked out the colour scheme and ordered all the furniture online in just one day, and Castle had insisted they pay extra to get the delivery men to put the furniture together, his reasoning being 'we don't want the crib falling apart when we lay the baby down, or open the wardrobe door to have it fall to the floor.'

Kate was more than capable of putting a few pieces of furniture together, living on your own for god knows how long meant that you learned a thing or two, but she was grateful for him to pay the extra, she wasn't sure she could bend and twist long enough to put it all together even if she wanted to.

They were mesmerised with the room, more than proud of what they had achieved.

The walls were, as they suggested, baby blue, there was a feature wall on the right with stickers - that would light up in the dark - of stars and a half crescent moon, clouds of white and grey were painted on the wall too.

The furniture was a natural wood effect colour and from where they were stood at the door the crib was on the right resting against the wall which was home to the feature wall of stars and clouds.

The wardrobe and drawers were sitting side by side against the left wall and behind the door to the right was where the changing table sat in the corner.

Straight ahead under the window was a toy box that could be used as a seat when the baby got to toddler age and to the right of the window, nestled in the corner was a rocking chair and foot stool, complete with cream cushions, the flooring was wooden laminate with a large rug in the middle of the room which patches of different shades of blue all over it.

The walls were still bare, but there would be plenty of pictures to be hung up once the baby arrives.

"It's beautiful isn't it," Kate spoke softly as she wrapped her arms around Castle where they stood at the door of their baby's nursery.

Castle kissed the top of her head, "that it is, " he agreed, "it will be even more beautiful when there is a baby lying in the crib," he smiled.

"I can't wait," Kate whispered as she closed her eyes, letting her imagination take over, images of herself nursing their son in the middle of the night, pictures of Castle telling animated stories of aliens and ninjas at bedtime.

A smile crossed both of their features as each of them went into their own world about what the future would look like.

**** I got the idea for the furniture form a website called bambinodirect dot com.**

**The feature wall can be found here – www. Beazly home best-decorations-wall-mureals-for-nursery-bedroom-designs-ideas . html (Google images, top line, fourth picture along, just take out the spaces of the web address.)**


	27. Chapter 27

**A.N – This chapter just wouldn't leave me alone, it's been riding around in my brain on a loop for most of the afternoon begging to be written, so I had to put it in here, it's mainly fluff with a little bit of emotion squeezed in, and it's also a little close to home for me - in the way that Kate feels.**

**Would love to know your thoughts : )**

**Disclaimer – I keep pestering Santa, but his answer is still no!**

_25 weeks pregnant_

Kate woke at just after two AM to a swift kick in her stomach, not only had she had trouble falling to sleep earlier – tossing and turning endlessly until she found a comfortable position, which was only a little over two hours ago – the baby had decided that now was a fantastic time to wake up and play football, and it was turning out to be quite a vigorous game of football too.

She let out a sigh and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, wincing slightly as the cold floor hit the balls of her feet, she made her way quietly to the bathroom on her tiptoes so she wouldn't wake Castle.

Most nights she would crawl back into bed and snuggle into Castle's chest or back, depending on his position, and rub gentle circles over her bump which seemed to settle the baby down, but tonight for some reason her mind wouldn't shut off, wouldn't allow for her to relax completely to get the much needed rest she deserved, not only that, their baby seemed determined with every kick and punch to make sure she felt it.

She winced slightly as she padded along the kitchen floor in her slipper clad feet when she felt a strong punch or kick in her ribs, pausing momentarily to rub a hand along the top of her rounded bump, which almost looked like a football stuffed under the sleep shirt that hugged her skin, only it was in proportion with the rest of her body, although to look at her from behind you would never guess she was pregnant – she wasn't waddling along slowly yet either, which she thanked god for small mercy's.

She made herself a chamomile tea, the stuff she'd been drinking a lot of just lately to try and settle herself down, and she briefly thought she would turn into a tea bag if she drank anymore of it.

Since finishing the nursery a few weeks ago she hadn't actually seen the glow in the dark stickers in the _dark, _so instead of settling herself down on the couch she made her way up to the nursery and sat in the rocking chair, the stars and the moon glowing in the dark were beautiful, she left the door slightly ajar to let in a slither of light, but that didn't stop the calming effect of the soft yellow glow coming from the stickers that were placed with precision on the wall.

She started to rock gently in the chair; pushing off gently using her feet and hummed the lullaby 'hush little baby' repeatedly to the seemingly aggressive little boy in her womb, instantly calming his erratic and powerful kicks and punches to more softer and manageable ones, and she took a mental note to do this the next time he was restless, knowing full well there will be a next time, especially when he develops a sleeping pattern in the weeks to come.

Xxxxxx

Castle woke not long after Kate, the bed wasn't as warm without her in it, and even in his flat out subconscious state he could sense when Kate wasn't there, more so when he turned over to snuggle into her to find the space beside him empty and cold.

He noticed the light seeping under the bedroom door from the kitchen and set out to find her, bring her back to bed with him, play with her hair, tickle her arms or back until she fell asleep.

When he reached the kitchen and still hadn't found her, he wondered the only other place she could be is the nursery, he noticed the box of chamomile tea out on the side and knew instantly that something was niggling away at her, she only drinks that tea when she's worried or nervous, or when something is playing on her mind, and come to think of it she's been drinking more and more of the stuff lately, he shook his head at himself for missing the signs, he's usually so good at reading her, being able to just _know _when something was niggling away at her, but then he briefly thought that this must be something difficult to talk about, something she usually keeps caged away from everyone – even him.

His mind went to the only thing she still has problems with talking about.

Her mother.

And at that thought his heart cracked in his chest, cracked for her, for their son who would never meet his grandmother, probably the more sane grandmother, and also for Jim Beckett, the man who would, without a doubt feel some form of pain at seeing his grandson being born into the world without having his wife by his side to witness it.

He pushed open the door to the nursery slowly and upon seeing the sight before him he felt the cracks in his heart instantly mending, being glued back into place, and replaced with love instead of the sorrow that resided their just seconds before.

He saw Kate with her hands resting on her bump, her thumbs circling gentle patterns and her head watching her hands, the sounds of a recognisable lullaby reaching his ears, a soothing humming sound that filled him up completely with warmth and pride.

She knew he was there watching, before she even noticed the light off the landing brightening the room she could sense his presence.

She could always sense it, could feel it wrapping around her body and hugging her tight, comforting her no end.

She lifted her head and let it rest on the back of the chair, her eyes bright and shining for him, a small smile played across her face as he slowly made his way to her, coming to rest on his knees in front of her and placing his hands either side of her belly and kissing her there softly.

"You OK?" he whispered as his eyes met hers, not wanting to ruin the quietness of the moment she had been in.

"He wouldn't stop fidgeting… and I couldn't sleep," she replied, her voice a murmur as she closed her eyes.

He let his hands rest at her thighs and knelt back on the heels of his feet, "come back to bed?" he asked, his eyes searching her face for any signs of anguish.

She breathed in deeply through her nose and let it slowly out of her mouth, "I'm OK here for now," she said quietly, her eyes remaining closed.

His hands rubbed gently and slowly up and down her thighs, "talk to me?" he asked tenderly, hoping she would tell him what was on her mind, because he just_ knew_ something was going on in that wonderful head of hers, he knew her too well to miss the signs, especially as he was sat so close and paying attention to her features; her forehead mostly, as that was her biggest give away when she was working something out in her mind, figuring out how to say what she wanted to or needed to.

Her brow wrinkled up slightly as she gathered her thoughts.

Bingo.

"Just… my mom has been playing on my mind a lot these past few days," she spoke wistfully, the longing clear in her soft voice.

"She won't be able to meet this little one," she mumbled as her hands rubbed up and down her stomach, "she won't be there to hold my hand when I'm in labour and cursing you," she told him with a little smirk at her last comment.

"She won't be there to walk me through it, tell me where I'm going wrong, help me when I need it, be proud of me when I get it right," she said sadly as she opened her eyes to meet his gaze staring back at her, a single tear making it's escape slowly down her cheek.

He didn't know what to say, all he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and tell her everything will be OK, that they will do this together, but she already knows that, he's told her countless times before, she just needs to get this out, lift it off her shoulders and let him help carry some of her grief.

She sat up, needing the closeness of him, his comfort, his words, he came back to his kneeling position and moved further forward so he was nestled in the V of her legs and she snaked her arms around his waist, the height advantage still clear even in this position and he wrapped his arms around her, his fingers playing in her hair as he held her grounded while her grief took over.

"She won't be here," she whispered against his shoulder as a few more tears made their way down her cheeks.

"Maybe not in person, Kate," he replied, his voice strong and confident, albeit quiet but helping his words sink in nonetheless, "but she'll be in your heart, she always has been," he reminded her as he rubbed up and down her back with one hand, still holding her close with the other.

"She'll be watching over you and no matter what you do she'll be proud, you can't let her down Kate, remember that." He echoed back the words she had told him once from a session with Dr Burke, and right now she was grateful that she had shared such personal details of her therapy appointments, he always knows how to bring her back down, calm her to more rational ways of thinking.

"And you've got me and Alexis… not forgetting your dad and my mother," he spoke into her ear, "you'll always have us Kate," he soothed, hoping his words were offering some form of comfort for her.

She pulled back after a short time, and rested her hands on his shoulders, squeezing gently as she looked into his eyes, "thank you," she said sincerely.

He didn't need to know what she was thanking him for – her eyes said it all.

T_hank you for being here, thank you for helping me through this, thank you for helping me see things clearly._

_Thank you ,for being you._

He prized her hands from his shoulders and stood up, carefully pulling her up once the ache in his ankles had disappeared, "let's go to bed, it's late," he spoke on a yawn, watching as Kate yawned seconds later; infecting her with his tiredness.

She accepted his offer and linked his arm as they made their way back down to their bedroom, her head resting on his shoulder as her eyes slip halfway shut and let him guide her to bed.


	28. Chapter 28

**A.N – It's nice to know you guys are still enjoying this story, I would love to know what you think of this chapter, I just let the characters take over and the outcome was this, I'm not sure about it, but I didn't want you guys waiting any longer for an update.**

**Disclaimer – Santa has threatened to put me on the naughty list because I keep pestering him for the rights to Castle for Christmas!**

_30 weeks pregnant._

It was partly her fault, she'd pushed and pushed to get a reaction, but _that_ wasn't the reaction she was hoping for, she was banking on a confession… which she didn't get in the end anyway.

She felt guilty, so extremely guilty, and now she had to explain everything to Castle who would probably fuss and myther and molly coddle her to no end, not to mention probably blow up with anger at the situation that had happened earlier in the day.

He had pestered and moaned and tried to reason with her for the last few weeks about going on maternity leave, but that wasn't Kate's plan; to sit around for weeks waiting for their baby to arrive, she wanted to work until she couldn't anymore, she'd keep going until her water's broke in the bull pen if the Captain would let her. But now, maternity leave was sounding like a pretty good idea although she didn't want to finish yet, but after today she knew she had to, it was for the best and she probably wouldn't have a choice anyway.

Castle and his damn reasons were right.

_Anything could happen in that interrogation room._

_It only takes a push from a pissed off suspect crossing the bull pen._

_The stress isn't good for either of you._

_The worry is probably worse._

_I'm worried for you when I can't be there._

And it just had to happen today of all days, the day he couldn't be there. Now he will probably blame himself just as much as she hates herself.

Granted, nothing had come of it, but that didn't mean she still didn't feel guilty for winding up a suspect and riling him up so much that he forced a table into her stomach before she even knew what was happening.

Thank god for Espo stepping in and cuffing him before things got way out of line. God forbid if anything had happened to the baby.

Although she still felt the baby kicking and hadn't felt any pain nor had she had any bleeding; which she was keeping a close eye on by timing movements and going to the toilet every twenty minutes just to check, it didn't stop her worrying by any means.

Xxxxxx

"Hey Alexis," Kate spoke on a weary sigh, "is your dad home yet?"

"No, but he shouldn't be long," Alexis replied, eyeing up Kate's pale face and defeated look.

She was glad she had gotten home before him, it meant she could have a hot bath and relax before she would have to tell him every tiny detail of her complete and utter rubbish day, then probably be forced to the hospital for a check-up.

"Are you OK?" Alexis asked, her eyes scanning Kate from her toes to her head, scrutinizing her look, and more than likely looking for any signs that she is infact _not _OK.

"Yes," she lied, "or I will be once I've had a hot soak in the bath," she gave Alexis a small smile, hoping to deter her from any more questions.

"You're not OK," Alexis fired back, her tone easy and knowing, "I can tell, you look worried, you're pale, not to mention your hands are shaking."

_Oh this girl is good, and she'd make a brilliant cop one day,_ Kate thought.

"You're fussing too much, like father like daughter, eh," Kate smirked as she made her way to the kitchen counter, bumping her shoulder with Alexis' as she sat down.

Maybe that bath wasn't going to happen any time soon, not if the quizzical look Alexis was giving her was anything to go by.

"Only when I need to," Alexis replied, her tone sincere.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked after a few moments of silence, not pushing the subject anymore for the time being.

"Just the jar of chocolate spread and a spoon," Kate grinned, "one of my cravings," she informed the young girl after she looked to her with a puzzled expression.

"At least you're not craving any weird combinations that would put dad's ridiculous concoctions to shame," she supplied, following Kate's footsteps and keeping the conversation light.

"Oh, I don't know, last week I had a craving for pickles and ice-cream – together." Kate laughed lightly at the thought.

"Eewww," Alexis grimaced.

"Made your dad go out to find pickles at one AM… I was nearly crawling the walls for it by the time he came back," Kate said, memories of that night coming back to her, picturing the look that had crossed Castle's face at the time; one of complete disgust.

Silence settled upon them once more, and could feel Alexis itching to ask what had happened.

"You really wanna know?" Kate asked, briefly wondering if she should say anything at all, not until Castle was home anyway.

"I didn't ask," Alexis replied with a knowing look.

"Well, you weren't asking very loudly," Kate spoke as she held a dollop of chocolate spread on the spoon to her mouth, letting out a pleasurable sigh as the taste hit her tongue.

"So…" Alexis badgered, Kate had brought it up first so it was ok for her to actually ask this time right?

"What happened?"

"I had a run in with a suspect… he pushed the table into me," she informed the young girl whose eyes were now transfixed on Kate's stomach, almost like she was trying to look inside to see if the baby was OK.

"I'm fine," Kate started as she placed a hand on Alexis' shoulder to get her attention back to her face, "just a shock, that's all," she finished with a small smile, hoping she looked confident enough for the red head to believe her words.

"And the baby?" Alexis asked, her eyes once again going to Kate's bump.

"Here," Kate started as she reached for Alexis' hand, "feel for yourself," she told the young girl as she rested her hand across her stomach, pressing hers on top of Alexis' to help feel for the kick or punch that the baby was currently giving out.

Alexis' eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again when not a single sound was able to break free.

"Baby is fine," she patted her hand with a smile then let go, but left Alexis' resting over her stomach.

"You know dad's gonna blame himself right?" Alexis spoke eventually, getting over the initial shock of feeling her little brother move for the first time, "you are going to tell him right?" Alexis looked Kate square in the eyes, a nervous edge to her features, "you have to, I mean I can't not tell him-"

Kate cut Alexis off from her ramble of nerves, knowing her mind was whizzing round at ninety miles an hour, wondering who she would betray if Kate wasn't going to tell him.

Betray Kate's trust or keep a secret from her dad?

"I'm going to tell him when he gets in… stop thinking too much." Kate reassured, "you're making _my _brain hurt," she finished on a laugh hoping to kill the tense atmosphere that had settled over them in a flash.

"Speak of the devil," Alexis told Kate as she heard the clicking of the lock, "dad's back… I'll be in my room," she told her, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before she left the kitchen, "I'm glad you're OK," she whispered into her ear.

"Me too," Kate supplied softly.

Xxxxxx

"Hey," Castle called as he walked to the kitchen and greeted Kate with a kiss to her lips, "you OK?"

"I'm fine," Kate replied in a tone that said she was totally not fine.

"Well, no actually I'm not, I'm tired, hungry, and I need a hot bath," she changed her mind, leaning her head to his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Then we'll have a bath, god knows I need one too," he said as he lifted his shirt at his chest to smell there, "then we'll order in, I can't be bothered to cook, and you need to rest," he kissed the top of her forehead.

He filled the tub with just enough water that it wouldn't overflow with the two of them in it and went a little bit over the top with the lavender bubble bath, if Kate asked him, his hand slipped!

On entering the bathroom Kate could have melted to the floor through the smell of lavender alone, it was heaven, and she couldn't wait to sink into the bubbles and have him encase his body around hers, relax against him and let the worry of the day evaporate with the steam.

Castle hopped in first and got comfortable as Kate undressed, she lifted a leg to climb into the tub when castle sat forward and placed a hand over her stomach, effectively stopping her movements, "what's that?" he asked cautiously, pulling his hand away and using his fingers to gently circle the bruise in the middle of her bump.

"Let me get in and relax and I'll fill you in," she spoke softly trying to keep the worry from her voice, "I've been waiting for this bath for nearly three hours, please Castle," she was practically begging him to let her get in.

He was pretty sure if he didn't comply that she would end up emotional, so he sat back and opened his legs, allowing her to move slowly over the edge of the bath and get comfortable in the V of his legs.

He circled his arms around her waist and let his hands rest atop her belly, she nestled her back to his chest and let out a contented sigh, relishing in the feeling of his lips at her neck.

"Kate," he spoke moments later, "what happened? I promise you can relax after, but I just need to know," he told her, his over the top authors imagination in him clearly coming out.

"A suspect… I riled a suspect in interrogation and before I knew it there was a table being jammed into my stomach," she replied quietly as she played with his fingers.

"And the baby-"

"The baby's fine Castle, I'm keeping an eye on movements… everything's fine, please just sshhh," she spoke the words more abruptly than she had intended so she turned to kiss his cheek lightly to let him know that she didn't mean the sting behind her words.

"I should have been there," he told her as he breathed down her neck.

"No…" Kate started confidently, "if you were there then the suspect might have been pressing charges for assault," she tried to joke but it fell flat.

"Believe me, you'd probably be sending me down for murder." He grimaced as soon as the words had left his mouth, remembering the time he nearly did get done for murder.

"I'm sorry," he told her, but not really knowing why, whether it was for what he had just said or because he wasn't there.

"Have you been to the hospital?" he said again before Kate could even reply to his apology.

"No, but if anything feels wrong… then I'll go," she replied, hoping he wouldn't go over the top and march her there right now.

"OK," he replied a Kate settled back against him, her body heavy and breathing even.

He was happy with that for now, but he would note any changes in Kate and her body and get her to the hospital whether she liked it or not if he had to, she could scream bloody murder for all he cared.

Xxxxxx

Kate woke from a rather fitful sleep to a dull ache in her back and pains in her abdomen, almost like she was having strong period pains.

She'd heard about Braxton hicks contractions, she'd read about them, and apparently they can last seconds or minutes, this one she was experiencing relented after about thirty seconds, although she couldn't be certain how long it had lasted exactly as it had woken her from sleep.

Because of the incident earlier that day she was more paranoid than usual, but was certain this was just the start of practice contractions and she better get used to them.

She made her way to the kitchen to find a heat pack; she'd not suffered much with harsh period pains since her early teenage years and when they were especially bad she would curl up in the foetal position with a heat pack and take some pain killers, only now she can't take pain killers, well she could, she was allowed paracetomal but she didn't want to feed her baby any drugs, she had even gone as far as deciding on no pain relief during labour.

Castle had called her stubborn and said '_wait till you're actually in labour; you'll change your mind then!'_

She smirked and threw him a wink when she responded, 'I'_ve been shot in the chest, I'm sure I can handle it.'_

"Alexis?" Kate asked upon noticing the young girl sat at the kitchen island.

"Kate, hi," she spoke with a smile, "what are you doing up?"

"Oh, you know, this little one won't settle," she lied as she placed a hand to her stomach, it wasn't much of a lie, the baby was infact moving and she hadn't had another tightening since she'd been up on her feet, apparently the movement had helped the discomfort, just like the books said it would.

Kate poured herself a glass of water in favour of a hot drink; she felt warm enough as it was, and drinking something warm would only make her feel sweaty, and when she's sweaty she gets agitated and snappy, something she doesn't need right now, not when she's trying to help her body relax.

"How about you, why are you awake?" Kate asked as she sat across from Alexis, eyeing up the books in front of the young girl, gritting her teeth as she felt another tightening, but as soon as it came it was gone again, a lot shorter than the last time which Kate took a little bit of comfort in.

_If their isn't a regular pattern and they don't get longer or stronger they must be Braxton hicks, _Kate thought to herself, then came back to earth to catch the tail end of Alexis' answer to her question.

"You know how it is, second year and double the workload," Alexis replied, looking sceptically to Kate who had obviously not been listening to most of what she had just said.

Kate rested her head in her hands and shut her eyes tight as she tried to will away the backache with her mind, trying her best not to groan at the uncomfortable feeling there.

She felt a hand wrap softly around her shoulder, "Kate are you okay? You seem to be in world of your own?" Alexis asked, concern covering her face.

"Just a few practice contractions, nothing to worry about," she replied quietly.

"Anything I can do?" The young girl wondered, ready and willing to do anything for Kate.

"Actually there is…" Kate paused momentarily, her pride of not needing any help ever getting in the way of what she needed, "could you make me a heat pack," she continued, throwing her pride out of the window when the uncomfortable ach in her back returned, sitting up straight to try and stretch it out.

Alexis didn't reply, she just moved away and busied herself with the heat pack, returning a few moments later and placing it at the bottom of Kate's back and holding it there for her for a few moments.

"I bet backache is a real pain in your ass," Alexis joked, trying to help Kate relax.

Kate shifted her head to the side where Alexis was stood, "how did you know?"

"I've read about it," she said shyly, "and I'm a girl," she smirked, "I get the worst backache when it's my time of the month," she informed Kate who was starting to relax a little, having Alexis around was a god send at times like this, Castle would probably rush around like a headless chicken and order her to the hospital, only to be sent home again after the doctor had informed them of false labour.

"Thanks Alexis," Kate said as she reached around to grip the heat pack and moved to stand up.

"You know where I am if dad goes over the top," she grinned.

"I swear you can read my mind."

"No. I just know you, and I know how you work," Alexis replied easily as Kate threw her a smile and left the kitchen, hoping she would be able to get some sleep.

She had had three tightening's in just over an hour it seemed and hadn't experienced one for over half an hour, the only discomfort she was experiencing now was back ache, but she put that down to the baby pressing against her back in a strange position, especially now he was getting bigger, she'd read all about it in books, the further along you progress into your pregnancy (especially the third trimester) the early pregnancy symptoms re-appear.

She was _not_ looking forward to enduring the sickness and peeing every five minutes again, especially as she couldn't move as fast as she could in the first trimester.

Xxxxxx

Castle had let the incident in the interrogation room go earlier, (to some extent) but she knew it was playing on his mind, he was more attentive towards her throughout the evening, he'd hugged her tighter in bed, kissed and caressed her bump for longer than he had ever done before, when she lay in bed with him earlier in the evening and paid attention to his hands and mouth on her bump she had made her mind up.

It was time to go on maternity leave.

She wouldn't be able to live with herself if anything ever happened to the baby, she wouldn't cope with watching his heartbreak or feeling her own crumble and she wouldn't be able to deal with the fact that it was her fault, her carelessness causing pain.

They'd caused enough pain to one another in the past and she wouldn't be able to cope with that responsibility again.

"Kate?" Castle murmured, his voice groggy with sleep as Kate sidled up to him in bed.

She snuggled into his chest, trying to wedge the heat pack at her back at the same time.

His arms come to wrap around her automatically in his semi-conscious state, "you're tense," he states, even in his half sleep state he worries about her.

"Just back ache," she half lies as she kisses his shoulder.

His hand strokes down to the bottom of her back and moves the heat pack away, using his fingers to knead there instead.

She lets out a sigh as his fingers work their magic where she desperately needs the pressure.

"I'm going to go on maternity leave as soon as I can," she informs him as her eyes flutter shut, allowing sleep to slowly take over her tense but quickly relaxing body.

"Thank god," he whispers, relief clear in his voice as he kissed the top of her head, his hands not letting up at her back.

If there was any small amount of doubt about her giving up work until after the baby was born it all but melted away after hearing his relieved words.

She fell asleep in the early hours of the morning content that she was most definitely doing the right thing, his hands pressing into her back helping her to sink into the mattress and fall into a fitful, dreamless sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

**A.N – Sorry about the delay guys, Christmas and New Year was hectic! I had a fab time, hope you all did too : )**

**Disclaimer – Not mine, I just borrow them for my own amusement!**

_30 weeks pregnant pt. 2_

Kate woke a few hours later to a persistent dull ache in her abdomen and no let-up of the back ache she had experienced earlier, she gritted her teeth to stifle a groan as she made her way to move out of bed, but it managed to break free anyway.

She gingerly made her way to the bathroom, her bladder near bursting the only reason she had to get up, that and the fact that movement might help her discomfort, just as it had done a few hours ago.

She washed her hands then let out a sigh, followed by a groan and she gripped the edge of the sink with both hands, dropping her head as she bent over to try and relieve the ache in her back and trying to will away the pressure in her pelvis.

It wasn't a painful feeling but it certainly wasn't pleasant either. She could probably deal with the odd practice contraction here and there but the constant dull ache and the pressure down _there_ was aggravating her.

"Hey," Castle whispered as he stepped into the bathroom, the movement of Kate and the noise had stirred him from sleep.

"You ok?" he asked quietly as he placed his hands on the bottom of her back, massaging firmly there to try and relieve some of the tension Kate was quite obviously feeling.

"No," she told him truthfully, straightening herself out and turning to him, holding onto the tops of his arms and burying her face in his shoulder.

"I'm worried now," she spoke softly, "after what happened yesterday," she paused momentarily and took a breath, "I've had a few pains, like contractions, and this ache and pressure…" she grumbled, leaving the last of her sentence unfinished.

He didn't question her, he knew what she must be feeling, he wasn't mad either that she hadn't told him, what mattered is that she had told him now and his main concern was getting them checked out.

"Hospital it is then," he replied as he rubbed his hands down her arms.

Kate nodded against his shoulder, "we need to call the maternity ward first," she reminded him, knowing how he sometimes forgets little details like that, especially when he's worried or nervous.

"What about Lanie?" Castle offered, after all she was a doctor.

"As much as I love Lanie, there are certain things she doesn't need to see!" Kate replied, knowing full well that she would have to have an internal examination.

"Right, got it," he said with a shake of his head, forgetting momentarily what would need to happen at the hospital.

"And besides, she's not a midwife," Kate added with a small smile as she left the bathroom to pull on something appropriate to wear.

Castle got dressed into some sweat pants and a V neck jumper before making his way to the kitchen to leave Alexis a note to let her know of their whereabouts and not to worry, all the while listening to Kate inform the midwife on the other end of the phone about what had happened and what _is _happening now.

"She said it sounds like the baby is engaging, and I'm experiencing practice contractions, but because of the accident I should go in for a check-up," she spoke as she made her way out of the bedroom to where Rick was stood in the kitchen, letting out a sigh of relief once she had finished speaking, the midwife's reassurance already calming her just a little.

"You ready?" he asked, moving towards her and ushering her out of the loft with his hand at her back, gently guiding her or just needing the comfort from touching her he wasn't sure.

It was nearing six AM, and the traffic, although not bad, was still busy for the early morning.

Xxxxxx

A midwife called Julie greeted them when they arrived, she was an older woman with mousy blonde hair tied back in a pony-tail, she was a few inches smaller than Kate and had a warming smile and a gentle touch. She was calm and collected and instantly put Kate and Castle at ease.

Castle made a mental note to ask her full name so they could have her deliver their baby if possible, especially as she read their file and greeted Castle by his full name but not batting an eye lid about who he was.

Julie performed an ultra-sound and told them that the baby was healthy, and the heart beat was strong – which they heard for themselves.

"He is lying back to back though," the midwife informed them sympathetically.

"Back to back?" Kate questioned, followed by an uneasy look from Castle.

"This means that he is facing upwards, his spine is lying on yours," she replied kindly, "that is likely why you're experiencing back ache." She told them.

"Is there anything we can do to make him move?" Kate questioned, she had heard terrible stories about back to back labour and birth, and this information kind of terrified her.

"Rocking on all fours has been known to help some mom's… gravity can help the baby spin around, but I can't promise you he will definitely move," she said tenderly, "birthing balls are great for that too," she finished with a small smile.

The internal wasn't pleasant, they never are, but the look on Castle's face – a grimace – had distracted her somewhat, and when Julie mentioned that Kate's cervix were closed (as they should be) and felt exactly how she would expect during pregnancy, Castle swallowed hard and closed his eyes briefly, earning a chuckle from both the midwife and Kate.

He knew what went on at times like this, he'd even seen Kate go through it during early pregnancy, but when the midwife's fingers were _there _ and they were searching and feeling for things, as well as having a running commentary he couldn't help but feel a bit funny.

He had to stop thinking about it and man up a little, if Kate had to sit through it then he at least could hold her hand and listen to it and not feel like he was going to throw up at any minute.

Thank the lord he hadn't had breakfast!

He did feel for Kate though, he realised it must be painful, not to mention completely embarrassing and he wished he could take the pain away for Kate, at least just a bit of it.

He shook his head.

_Stop thinking about it Castle, _he told himself.

The midwife took off her gloves and threw them in the bin and then turned to the bed and picked up the file to jot down a few notes.

"Everything is fine, baby's heartbeat is strong, Kate, you're blood pressure is fine, and," she paused to look pointedly at Castle, "your cervix are closed."

He knew she was messing with him so he made a face on purpose to make her smile, he liked her. She seemed down to earth with a sense of humour and he briefly found himself wondering what her back story was, what her life has been like? Has she had any children of her own? Why was she a midwife?

He stopped his rambling thoughts though when he heard, "everything is fine, you can go home."

And with that Julie left the room with a polite smile, giving Kate some privacy to get changed out of the gown.

"So…" Castle grinned, "hands and knees, huh?" he wiggled his eyebrows for added effect.

To be honest Kate was waiting for his filthy comment from the moment the midwife had mentioned the position, she was just grateful he managed to keep his mouth shut while she was in the room.

"I wondered how long it would take for you to bring that up," she rolled her eyes as she made her way to get off the bed and get dressed.

"You know me too well," he winked, helping Kate into her top.

"That I do," she replied softly as she placed a kiss on his cheek, content with the knowledge that their baby was perfectly fine, the only thing she wanted to do now was get some rest.

Xxxxxx

Thy walked through the door to be greeted by a wide eyed and worried Alexis, "Kate, Dad? Is everything ok? The baby?" she rushed out the questions at the speed of light, eyes scanning Kate and staying firmly fixed on her bump.

"Everything is fine, Alexis," Kate spoke on a weary sigh, tiredness washing over her, last night and the few hours in hospital catching up on her.

Alexis made her way to Kate and wrapped her arms around her, well as much as she could with her bump in the way.

Kate returned the hug, but it was stiff. She pulled away, the last thing she wanted right now was to be fussed over, "I'm going for a lie down," she told them both as she kicked off her shoes.

"Do you need anything?" Alexis offered.

"I'll come with you, rub your back?" Rick asked.

"Guys," Kate spoke exasperated, "I'm fine, everything is fine, just," she paused and ran her fingers through her hair, "let me have some time out, ok?"

And with that she was gone.

Her answer was abrupt and to the point, she didn't mean to snap but she was tired, exhausted in fact and struggling with her aching back and pressure in her pelvis, all she wanted was to be left alone and get some rest.

Alexis walked to the kitchen island with a deflated look, followed by Castle, hoping he could explain to his daughter why Kate was acting the way she was.

Alexis waited until the bedroom door had closed before she spoke.

"I was only trying to help," she shrugged her shoulders.

"I know pumpkin, she's tired and tense," he replied softly.

"It's not my fault though, there was no need to snap," Alexis fired back, her tone annoyed but her face passive, not showing any emotion.

"She didn't mean it," Rick told her, hoping he could help his daughter understand that Kate really didn't mean how she had spoken to her, that it was just the events of the last twenty four hours catching up with her, that and hormones.

He reached for Alexis' hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "she's had a rough time," he spoke again, then smiled gently at his daughter, who now looked like she was beginning to understand the pressure that has been on Kate's shoulders.

"I know," she replied with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, telling Rick that she was actually a little hurt about Kate's attitude.

Alexis moved and made her way to go upstairs, her shoulders slumped slightly, Rick let out a sigh and ran his hand over his face as he watched Alexis leave the room, he was of course frustrated at the two women in his life and how god damn touchy they could be sometimes.

_Jeez, hormones from all angles!_

Xxxxxx

"I think you should apologise to Alexis," Rick said gently later that day when Kate had woken up from her nap.

"What for? Being tired, stressed and in pain?" she spoke sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

Clearly Kate was still reeling from the events earlier, but as soon as the words left her mouth she wished she could just put them back in and swallow them.

"Nooo," Rick said slowly, knowing he had to tread carefully here, "for snapping at her," he spoke tenderly, hoping not to rile her any more than she already was, "I think it upset her," he finished then, waiting and watching for Kate's reaction.

Apparently walking on egg shells was the best approach with Kate right now.

"I'm sorry I upset her," she said sincerely, because she really didn't mean too, "but I won't apologise for the way I was feeling – am feeling," she corrected herself.

Castle nodded his head, he didn't want to fire a remark back, the last thing he wants is an argument that he knew Kate wouldn't back down from.

"This is so overwhelming," she told him honestly, he deserved an explanation for her short temper, "my body isn't my own anymore," she spoke with a shaky voice, tears forming in her eyes, and in all honesty she looked a bit lost, like she didn't know what to do with herself.

"You know what, you're right," he replied as he made his way over to where she was stood in the middle of the loft, he placed his arms around her waist and held her for a minute, waiting for her to calm down from whatever rush of emotion she was suddenly feeling.

"But just think," he grinned, "in ten weeks we'll have a beautiful baby boy right here," he motioned with one arm around the loft and kissed the top of her head.

She hummed in response, sometimes Kate panicked about everything all at once and needed a bit of reassurance that everything was going to be ok.

"It's still your body," he offered, " just… you're loaning it out for a bit," he frowned at his own stupid comment that made no sense whatsoever.

"Loaning it out?" Kate questioned with a giggle.

At least he'd made her laugh, he thought proudly to himself.

"Yea, not the best thing to come out of my mouth," he replied with a grin.

"Everything's changing, Kate," he continued with another kiss to the top of her head, "but you know what?" he pulled back and looked into her eyes, "it's changing for the better, you know that right?" he smiled.

"I do," she replied confidently, her previous melt down now forgotten.

"And you'll always have me," he told her sincerely, somehow he knew just what to say to make Kate feel better.

She kissed him gently, this caring, lovely, genuine man who always knew how to calm her down and keep her grounded, who always tried his best to help her overcome her worries and self-doubt.

She pulled back from the kiss and smirked, "baby's hungry."

"And what does the baby want for dinner?" he questioned with a raise of his eyebrows.

"hhmmm, pizza," she smiled, her eyes wide and mood now completely lifted from her.

Castle got to his knees and placed his hands on her bump, "I think mommy is using you as an excuse to eat comfort food," he mock whispered.

Kate looked down and smiled at the top of his head, relishing completely in the sound of mommy, and how soon it will be her title.

"Daddy better get a move on and order that pizza," she told him after a few minutes, placing one hand over his where they were resting at her bump and ran the other through his hair, silently telling him to hurry up, but at the same time missing the contact when he was gone and ordering pizza.

Xxxxxx

"Hey guys," Alexis spoke as she made her way down stairs, apparently pizza has the tendency to lift the mood of even stroppy teenagers.

Kate handed over the pizza box to Alexis, a silent peace offering; she grabbed a slice and smiled her thanks.

"You ok?" Kate asked, somewhat awkwardly.

"I'm good," Alexis replied kindly, "you?"

"I'm good too," Kate grinned, inwardly relief swept through her, grateful that Alexis and she were good.

Castle watched the exchange silently, glad that Kate and Alexis were ok.

Back to normal, just like that.

Pizza was a great thing to offer as an apology apparently.

He grinned as he made his way over to join his family, a relaxed atmosphere once more, hoping that it stayed that way.

**** Just two or three more chapters to go, I'm running out of steam with this story now, and I think it shows in this chapter! Would love to know your thoughts…**


	30. Chapter 30

**This just happened really, I'm not even sure what it is… I'll let you guys decide! : ) **

**Would love to know your thoughts, as always!**

**Disclaimer – I don't own them, I just have fun with them, well try to anyway!**

_35 weeks pregnant_

Kate had been on maternity leave for five weeks now. The day after the hospital incident she had gone into the precinct and requested to be put on leave as soon as possible, the captain had told her to go home, get some rest and prepare for the arrival of her baby. She had said to not worry about the paper work, she would deal with that. Kate wasn't expecting an easy time of it from the captain, so she was a little surprised at how understanding gates had been, however she did cover it well and went home to do exactly what Gates had told her to do.

The first week was ok, she loved it infact, doing absolutely nothing. Considering the aches and pains she was suffering with she was grateful for not being stuck at a desk all day, she even let Rick and Alexis fuss over her and allowed them to wait on her hand and foot.

The second and third week she started to get bored, she had read every baby book and every magazine article on pregnancy and birth she could find, she even resorted to watching a couple of birthing videos… although why she put herself through that she will never know, they only managed to increase her anxiety about the whole thing.

She met with Lanie a couple of times for lunch, making the most of her free time before the baby arrived and took up all of her energy.

She popped into the precinct a couple of times just to say hi to everyone, but she had managed to get engrossed in the latest case and stayed a few hours to help out, the captain eyed her up – a look of what are you doing here – but left her to it, she knew Kate was a workaholic and couldn't stay away… even if she was only supposed to be going in to check in with her friends. And of course Rick was with her on each occasion, he was like a shadow – literally, always there behind her, in front of her, beside her, she didn't mind though, she knew what he was like and how he frets, and she didn't blame him, not after the last time she was there.

Rick was over the moon when she started her maternity leave – he may or may not have done a little happy dance and fist pumped the air when she wasn't looking!

He wouldn't have minded her going on maternity leave the moment they had found out she was expecting, which he made perfectly clear on several occasions, of course to no avail, Kate has to learn the hard way.

A part of him was also relieved that she didn't have to go into the precinct anymore; it was like a weight of worry had vanished from his shoulders the moment she had uttered 'I'm officially on maternity leave.'

Although Alexis had never voiced her unease over Kate working while she was pregnant, it was always there, niggling away in a little corner of her mind, so obviously she was happy too that Kate was now at home until after the baby was born, she just hid it better than her father – and besides, it was clear her actions told Kate how much she worried about her and the baby's well-being.

She was also looking forward to spending time with Kate, especially as when the baby makes an appearance it will take up all and any of Kate and her father's spare time… finding any free time at all will be hard work.

She wasn't jealous of her father and Kate using all their time with the baby, she knows it's just how it is with a new-born, she was just apprehensive about how everything will play out once her brother arrives.

The family dynamic she is used to will never be the same again.

She has been told numerous times by Kate and her father that their love for her won't change, and she believes that, she really does, but Alexis is a worrier, and as it goes, no matter how many times you're reassured, you still worry.

She wouldn't bring this issue up again, not if she wanted to be treated like an adult, so she would try her upmost to squash down this insecurity. Besides, a big part of her is itching to meet the new addition to the family.

Week four had dragged, besides from a flying visit from Maddie and a day out with Rick shopping for baby clothes and picking up any last bits they needed, time had seemed to crawl by at a snail's pace. The only thing that had kept her occupied was washing the baby's entire wardrobe collection and putting it all neatly away. She had of course cooed over all the tiny little garments, turned into a puddle at some of the cutest designs of Rabbits and Ducks on clothes she had ever seen.

Her heart melted when she toyed with a pair of mittens between her fingers and imagined her tiny baby gripping her finger with his whole hand… she cried actually, but she willed them away because she would have felt completely ridiculous crying over a pair of mittens if Rick or Alexis had walked in and found her like that.

So here she was at week five, getting antsy and agitated, highly anticipating the arrival of their son.

She'd taken to cleaning every inch of the loft, removing all the books from the shelves and polishing each surface with precision, she'd removed all plates, pots, pans and cutlery from their cupboards and drawers, along with the glasses and cups and cleaned the insides with antibacterial spray until she was satisfied they were clean enough, until they shined.

She knew they had a cleaner that stopped by once or twice a week, but Kate couldn't help herself, she needed everything to be spotless. She even got on her hands and knees at one point to give the skirting boards a once over.

The next thing on her list to tackle was the fridge and the cooker.

Xxxxxx

"They call this nesting, you know?" Alexis said as she walked through the door to the loft and saw Kate kneeling down by the cooker with a wet cloth in one hand and oven spray in the other, glancing around quickly to see the immaculate surroundings, along with the clean and fresh smell that encased her nose.

Kate lifted her head from where it was hidden with a grin on her face, all rosy cheeked and sweaty faced, making it clear to anyone that she had been hard at it most of the day.

"Need a hand?" Alexis offered, knowing full well that there is bound to be something somewhere that Kate hasn't gotten round to cleaning.

"You really want to help me clean?" She replied with a quirk of her eyebrows, not expecting the teenager to offer her help to _clean._

Alexis shrugged her shoulders and grinned, waiting on the spot for Kate to give her instructions.

"The fridge needs doing," she smiled, it was a question, sort of, "take everything out, clean the sides with this," she threw her a cloth and some antibacterial spray that was resting in the box beside her on the floor, "check the dates on the food and throw out what's out of date," she smiled politely to Alexis who was now making her way over to the fridge to get started on what seemed like a mammoth task.

They busied themselves with the tasks at hand until a thought suddenly popped into Alexis' head, "have you packed your hospital bag?"

Kate stood up and huffed a breath out of her lungs as she did, being heavily pregnant and getting up from the floor wasn't the easiest of things to do.

"It's on my list of things to do, why do you ask?" Kate wondered, now cleaning the actual cleaning items before putting them away.

Alexis looked at her with a puzzled expression, "you're _cleaning _the cleaning products and you've blitzed this place like a maniac…"

Kate looked to the bottle in her hand and then to Alexis, a question etched on her features. Alexis was grinning like an idiot at what Kate was doing, she found it highly amusing.

"Nesting comes right before labour… well mostly," the girl informed her, grin still in place, "and considering he was making his way head down weeks ago…" Alexis didn't finish the last of her sentence she just shrugged her shoulders, knowing Kate would click onto what she was saying in a flash.

"If this little one is as stubborn as me I wouldn't be surprised if he makes a late entrance," Kate replied, secretly hoping that she _didn't _go over her due date because right now she felt fat and horrible and looked ready to pop.

"But if he's as eager as dad is," she raised her eyebrows, turning briefly to put the last of the food away in the fridge.

Realisation dawned on Kate like a light had been flicked on, her baby could make an entrance any day now, especially if her last midwife appointment was anything to go by – the little thing was fully engaged and a healthy size too – so yeah… shit!

"So…" Kate started, "fancy helping me pack that hospital bag?" she questioned with a grin.

Alexis followed as Kate made her way to the bedroom, grabbing the Ipad as they passed the living room, firing it up so she could use the internet to find a list of what Kate and the baby would need.

Xxxxxx

Kate pulled out a medium sized bag from the bottom of the wardrobe and put it on the bed, pulling out a few items of clothing that she knew she would need from common sense, a birthing gown, a comfortable pair of pyjamas and an outfit to come home in, followed by several pairs of underwear and a couple of nursing bras. Too many is better than not enough she thought.

She left a few baby grows and vests back from the nursery the other week when she went on her washing spree, so she placed them beside her clothes in the bag, hat and mittens resting on top of the tiny bundle of clothes.

She wandered to the bathroom and grabbed a wash bag, filled it with essentials that she uses on a daily basis, the miniature items she bought on her trip with Castle not so long ago, shampoo and conditioner, toothpaste and a new toothbrush, body wash and a sponge along with body and face moisturiser.

Alexis was in the back ground rattling off the items against her list, reminding her every now and then of things she had forgotten to add.

"So all the clothes are packed," Alexis stated, "along with your wash bag. Diapers, baby wipes and a blanket need to go in, oh, and a snow suit," she added, watching as Kate grabbed all the items she had mentioned.

"Ok, so…" Kate paused, mentally ticking off everything in her own head, "everything is packed, just need maternity pads and breast pads to go in now," she said with a grimace, definitely not looking forward to what mother nature will throw at her after giving birth.

"It won't be just the baby wearing nappies," she said sarcastically as she put the last two items in the bag, "you'd think giving birth was the end of it…" she winked at Alexis, not really needing to go into any more details about what comes after.

"Do you need bottles and formula?" Alexis questioned, she knew Kate was going to give breast feeding a go, but she thought she'd throw it out there anyway.

"I'll need to take some yes, just in case I can't breastfeed," she smiled softly, hoping to whatever god there was up there that she could breast feed her baby.

"And the car seat is in the hall closet," Alexis spoke with an edge of excitement to her voice as she picked up the bag and made her way to put it with the car seat in the hall closet.

"We're all done," Alexis squeaked and clasped her hands together in front of her as she made her way to the kitchen where Kate was making some tea, still avoiding coffee like the plague, however much she would kill for a caffeine fix.

Xxxxxx

"So it's just dad at the birth then?" Alexis wondered later that day when she and Kate were sat on the sofa enjoying some down time before Castle came back from his poker game and whizzed around like the Tasmanian devil, messing everything up no doubt and throwing together some ridiculous invention of food, or perhaps he would ask to be locked in a cupboard – like the last time when he had spent a day with his 'boys' as he had called them - a stupid idea he had for his latest book – which, if Kate recalls from last time did not end too well.

"Yea," Kate replied absent-mindedly, not thinking too much of Alexis' question.

"You don't want anyone else there," she questioned a little shyly, and then added, "a friend I mean?"

Kate turned to look at Alexis and saw the twinkle in her eyes, a hopeful look on her face.

Secretly Alexis wanted to be there but she didn't want to ask Kate straight up, it is after all a very personal and emotional journey for Kate and her father to go on, so she thought if she brought the subject up and danced around it a little bit it might give her the courage to ask Kate outright.

"It's not something I've thought about if I'm honest, I always imagined it would be just me and your dad," Kate told her, watching as that twinkle faded and disappointment crossed her features, albeit the disappointment was quickly replaced with a smile, one that didn't quite reach her eyes, like she was covering up her emotions.

Moments passed between them before what Alexis was really asking registered with Kate, "how about you?" Kate asked with a smile on her face for Alexis, "would you like to be there?"

"um, yea, I mean…" Alexis stuttered, she didn't want to make Kate feel like she had been put on the spot, that wasn't her plan at all, "if that's ok with you and dad? I'll leave you guys alone if you need me to, do the coffee run for dad, the food run for you?" she replied with a hopeful look, letting Kate know that she wouldn't be a hindrance.

"You sure you can handle it? it won't be pretty!" Kate reminded her as a shudder ran through her body and gave her goose-bumps – the thought of giving birth now the only real worry at the forefront of her mind.

"I've seen dead bodies, I'm sure I can handle a birth," Alexis quipped with a smirk.

"Of course you have," Kate grinned, how she could forget that Alexis has worked in the morgue she will never know… baby brain for sure.

Xxxxxx

Castle entered the loft that evening with a whistling tune leaving his lips and a smug grin plastered across his face.

"What's got you so pleased with yourself?" Kate asked as he came and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Oh you know… I only whipped everyone's butts at poker," he chirped, plopping himself down on the sofa ungracefully, allowing Kate to rest her legs in his lap.

"How's your day been?" he asked as he scanned the place, "have you cleaned?" he all but squeaked, surprised at the look of the place.

"I and Alexis have cleaned, yes, and we also packed the hospital bag," she told him with a smug grin of her own coming into play.

"We're all ready to go then?" he asked giddily as he rubbed his hands up and down Kate's legs before leaning down to press a kiss to her stomach and whispering, "we're ready for you little man."

"Alexis wants to be at the birth…" she paused to wait for his eyes to reach her own, "I said that was ok?" it was a question as well as a statement.

"That's fine by me, whatever you want… whatever you need you will get," he leaned up to kiss her lips softly, "You're the one that will be doing all the hard work," he told her as he pulled away.

"You don't say," she replied, her tone laced with sarcasm as she threw him a smile, a slightly terrified smile, but a smile nonetheless.

**Not long to go until we meet baby Castle :D **


	31. Chapter 31

**A.N – last chapter now guys… thank you so much for all your wonderful feed- back along the way, it's greatly appreciated. Keep your eyes peeled for a sequel called 'Baby Days' in the near future. It's running around my head begging to be written if you guys want it? :D**

**This chapter did kick my butt, I just hope I did it justice. Leave me your thoughts in a review? I'd love that!**

**Thanks to bellapaige88 for the name : )**

**Disclaimer – Did you see 'Significant Others?' I couldn't produce something as epic as that!**

_38 weeks pregnant._

Kate was pacing slowly back and forth around the kitchen, her hands clutched at her back, fingers massaging the ache that lay there, the ache she had been fighting with for the last two hours, slowly getting worse as the hours seemed to crawl by.

She knew this was different from Braxton hicks, the contractions she was experiencing every twenty minutes or so and lasting just over a minute told her this was different.

Alexis rang the hospital – Rick had a meeting at black pawn and was unreachable, Kate was going to shoot him, really she was – apparently what she described to the midwife was the latent phase and she would be best staying at home until either her contractions got stronger and closer together or her waters broke.

Alexis made her way to Kate, stood rooted on the spot waiting for Kate to make the inevitable trail back to where she was standing, watching on in shock as Kate paced the small area in between the fridge and the island.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Alexis' eyes were wide, her brow creased with worry, she didn't really know what to do, so she repeated the words the midwife had told her on the phone, "a warm bath might help the discomfort?" she asked, her voice no louder than a whisper, unsure how Kate would take to her offering advice when she was feeling tense.

"Bath, right," Kate mumbled the words, the aching pressure in her back taking away her usual confident tone.

She stopped her march and looked to Alexis, the sight of her nervous stance and fidgety hands had Kate forcing a smile, "bath sounds good," she spoke through gritted teeth as another contraction made itself known. She held onto the counter and breathed through it with deep slow breaths, just like she had been told to do at her recent ante-natal classes. Her knuckles were turning white as she held onto the marble surface, waiting for the ripple to leave her stomach, the pain radiating down her legs.

She'll never complain about period pains ever again, that's for sure.

As Alexis made her way to the ensuite bathroom she tried to gather herself together, the last thing Kate needs right now is a scared teenager to deal with.

It had been nearly two hours since Kate's first contraction and the onslaught of her backache – which came out of nowhere- and of course they would have started practically the moment her dad walked straight into a meeting, meaning his phone was off and the only thing Alexis could do was leave a voicemail.

She turned on the taps for Kate's bath, ran a hand through her hair as she straightened up and let out a long sigh, trying to regulate the frantic beat of her heart, she was sure it was ready to jump out of her chest.

She splashed her face with cold water then rinsed her hands, allowing her wrists to rest under the spray for a few moments hoping the cold water would bring her back down from her panic induced fluster. She mentally slapped herself for being so ridiculous, if she was feeling like this then what the hell were Kate's emotions going through?

She was all for being at the birth, she was excited to witness the birth of her brother, but she hadn't really bargained for this. As it goes, things never really turn out the way you plan them and if her father was delayed at one his stupid meetings then she would step in and help Kate the best she could, make her comfortable and do whatever is necessary.

She made her way back to Kate, confident that her panic stricken haze had reduced, at least on the outside.

She saw Kate leaning over the counter, obviously suffering through a contraction and took hurried steps to reach her, placing a hand on her lower back and massaging there, not a single clue what she was doing but hoping that it helped her anyway.

"You're bath is ready," she spoke softly, her hands not stilling the firm movements at her back.

Kate nodded her head but stayed still, hands clutching at the side, making it clear to Alexis that she would move when she could.

"OK," Kate spoke as she stretched out right to a standing position, making a beeline – albeit slowly - for the bathroom, the warm water practically calling her name and ready to sooth her aching muscles.

"I put some lavender bubble bath in," Alexis informed her as she followed closely behind, "it might help you relax, this phase can last hours," she mentally slapped herself as she spoke that last sentence, any woman in labour doesn't really need to hear that.

"Thank you," Kate replied sincerely, so grateful to have Alexis home right now, if she was on her own she would probably flip out and have a full blown panic attack. It was only by chance that Alexis stayed over last night, and she briefly thanked the heavens above for whatever the reason that had made Alexis want to stay the night, although she did have a little inkling that Castle might have had something to do with it, he'd been hovering for days, not wanting to leave her by herself for longer than twenty minutes at a time, 'just in case,' he had said.

She'll give him just in case… Oh will she.

"Shall I leave you alone for a while?" Alexis asked, unsure whether Kate would want her there, giving her the option of privacy in case she felt embarrassed. To be quite honest Alexis wouldn't really know what to do with herself if Kate wanted her to stay, but if Kate needed her then that's what she would do... stay.

Kate sat on the closed toilet seat, her eyes tightly shut as she tilted her head to the ceiling. She was as stubborn as they come and would never admit to anyone – except Castle – that she needed them, but right now she was actually quite frightened to be left alone, this was all a new experience for Kate, and as new experiences go for Kate Beckett, they terrified her.

"Stay…" she opened her eyes to see a patient looking Alexis waiting for her answer, "if you don't mind?" she added quickly, the fact that she would have to get naked suddenly dawning on her and how Alexis might feel about the slightly awkward situation.

For Kate it didn't matter at all right now, her only thought being to get into that bath and brace herself for the next contraction.

She threw her dignity out of the window the moment she realised that she was in labour, Alexis would see much worse in time.

Alexis nodded her head slowly, "of course," she spoke softly, "we're both girls right?" she joked with a shrug of her shoulders, instantly lighting the tense atmosphere that had settled just as quickly as it disappeared.

As soon as Kate eased into the water she relaxed instantly, although it didn't stop the worry circulating around her brain, she'd never been in labour before, she had no idea what to expect, only that in time the contractions would become more intense.

Alexis sat on the toilet seat fiddling with her hands, she took in the sight of Kate, closed eyes and obviously more relaxed than before, a sight Alexis smiled softly at, proud of being able to help Kate in a small way. It _was _a little awkward at first, for herself anyway, Kate didn't seem to care, she just stripped off and got in the tub, making no issue out of it at all which Alexis was grateful for.

Xxxxxx

An hour had passed since her bath and Kate was lay on the bed trying desperately to get some sleep, knowing she really needed this time to build up her energy ready for what was inevitably to come.

She was mentally timing her contractions, the reason why she couldn't drift off, and in the last half an hour she had had three, which were lasting around forty seconds. She blew out a breath as she felt the last one reach its peak then gradually subside.

She got up, hoping the movement would decrease her discomfort, either that or gravity would work its magic.

Her dressing gown was draped loosely around her, a pair of thick socks adorning her feet as she padded her way to Alexis who was sat at the kitchen island with her Ipad resting on the counter, more than likely researching giving birth if Kate knew her at all.

"How long in between your contractions?" she spoke as she noticed Kate heading towards her.

"Every ten minutes or so," Kate replied easily, trying her best to ignore the back ache that was gradually getting worse, "why?"

"I've just found an article on phases of labour," she pointed towards the gadget that sat in front of her, "it says if your contractions are three to four minutes apart then you're in active labour," she informed Kate with a proud smile.

"I'd say you're nearly there," she carried on, "they're getting shorter apart," she stated the obvious.

"Where's your dad?" Kate asked, not replying to Alexis' research, her only thought being that she really needed Castle here for this, he was the only person that could ground her, keep her with it and talk her gently through it. She appreciated Alexis, of course she did, but it just wasn't the same.

As Kate asked her question, a very flustered looking Castle all but fell through the door of the loft, "Oh thank god," he practically wheezed out, clearly he'd ran the twelve floors to the loft instead of waiting for the elevator.

A relieved sigh left Kate's lips, she almost cried at the sight of him, thanking whatever god that was up there that he was here.

He came towards her, practically ran in her direction and wrapped his arms around her waist, "I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear, so completely beside himself that he left her this morning for a stupid meeting that could have waited. Damn Paula and her irrational side of deadlines and dates and appearances and signings.

"You're here now," she gently reminded him, her earlier thoughts of shooting him vanished in thin air at the sight of his dishevelled look and how he had so clearly rushed back to be with her, the worry for her pouring out of every pore of his body.

"I checked my phone during a break and ran out of there as fast as I could," he told her as he pulled back from her to study her tired looking face, the restlessness in her eyes.

Her hands came to rest at his sides, holding on tight and letting her head drop to study the floor as she breathed her way through another contraction, groaning as it reached its peak, this one stronger than the last.

"I think we should go to the hospital," Alexis spoke up from where she was sat, making her way to the door and ducking into the closet to grab the hospital bag and car seat on the way, waiting there as Kate and Castle made their way to follow her out of the loft.

Xxxxxx

Once reaching the hospital, the midwife that had seen them a few weeks ago was working and as soon as she saw them – Kate clad only in her dressing gown - she ushered them in to a delivery suite, reeling off different questions about contractions and times and how painful they were, Castle took it all in with a look of bewilderment as Kate was giving the answers, looking to Alexis for help when she needed it.

The midwife did all the necessary observations, including an internal examination that told them Kate was infact in active labour and her cervix was five centimetres dilated.

Kate was offered pain relief which she of course refused, from the beginning of her pregnancy she had insisted on no drugs during labour, and although her contractions were coming thick and fast and were excruciatingly painful, she still refused, adamant on her decision.

"Half way there," Castle spoke softly as he sat at her bedside, reaching across to kiss her forehead. She grasped his hand in hers and held on for what felt like dear life.

She couldn't reply, she was focussing solely on getting through the contractions that were now every three to four minutes.

Although Kate was holding it together physically, not crying out in pain, Castle could tell from the look in her eyes and the way her brow creased up that she was hurting, his heart broke for her, he would do anything to take away some of the agonising pain he knew she must be feeling.

Xxxxxx

She held her hands out to him, a silent plea to help her up, she needed to move from her laying position, her thought sounded ridiculous in her own mind but she felt like she was sat on her baby, "I need to move," she managed to force the words out as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, grabbing hold of Castle's hand as she did.

She was becoming agitated and weary, exhaustion creeping through her body, her mind wondering when these contractions would _just end._

She held onto Castle's shoulders, her head buried into his chest as she fought with the aggravation that was seeping through her with every ache and every pull of her muscles.

"I can't do it," she whimpered as she felt the tightening of her stomach muscles, the pain rippling through her from her back right the way around to her stomach causing nausea washing over her quickly.

"You can," he encouraged her, his mind only beginning to imagine what she was going through right now, "you're doing so well," he continued his efforts as his arms bracketed her waist, his thumbs soothing gentle patterns where they rested at either side of her stomach.

"I love you, and I'm so proud of you." He was trying his best to use his words to sooth her like they had done so many times in the past, but he couldn't find anything other than 'I love you' and 'I'm proud of you' to roll of his tongue.

She hummed her response, no longer capable of words as she concentrated on what her body was doing, letting it take control.

She began rocking from side to side in his embrace, something Castle couldn't fathom why but swayed with her anyway, if it eased her discomfort then he would do anything.

Alexis made herself scarce, giving her father and Kate a few moments alone, also knowing that a cold drink for Kate and a coffee for her dad would be greatly appreciated.

She felt a strong pressure in her bottom and it got too much for her to handle, along with the contractions that were relentless and seemed to go on and on and on.

"I need to push," she wept as she dug her fingers into Castle's shoulder blades, letting him take most of her weight as she hung on.

Kate wanted to crawl in on herself as the need to push to swept through her, almost like she was trying to stop the sensation, trying to put it off, but listening to what her body was telling her to do nonetheless.

Just at that moment Alexis walked back in the room with a tray of drinks in hand, leaving them abandoned on the bedside table as she saw the pain Kate was in.

Kate felt a trickle of water run down her legs. She knew it was her waters breaking but she needed something, anything to reassure her.

"Castle…" she whispered, desperation clear in her voice.

"Call the midwife," Castle told her as he held onto Kate, "the red button by the door," he confirmed as he noticed Alexis freeze on the spot, not sure if she could witness this after all.

"Breath through it, Kate," he told her tentatively, watching the door, hoping for the midwife to come speeding through at any moment.

"Like I'd forget to breath at a time like this," she snapped at him, her hands wrapping around his neck trying to find purchase, her forehead resting on his shoulder.

"Short, quick pants, in and out," Alexis piped up from where she was sat with her back towards her dad, her posture now one of nerves and excitement rolled into one, completely dismissing Kate's outburst, briefly thinking that she is never having kids, _ever._

The midwife strolled through the door with ease, her breathing quick, indicating that she had ran to meet their call, but an air of calm radiating from her anyway, instantly easing Castle and his pounding heart.

"I need to push," Kate spoke again with a whimper, letting the midwife know that no matter what she says, she _will _be pushing in a matter of seconds.

Julie made her way round to Kate's back, lifting her gown to see for baby's head.

"On your next contraction I want you to bare down for as long as possible… remember those ante-natal classes," the midwife was cheering her on, "and I'll check for baby's head, ok?" she spoke, not really needing an answer, her tone confident, concentrating on delivering their baby.

She gave a quick look to Castle, making sure he was ok to hold Kate in the position she was comfortable in.

The last thing the midwife needed was him collapsing and taking Kate with him to the floor.

He nodded his head to the silent question she was asking, his hand trailing up and down Kate's back trying to will away her pain with his fingers.

Kate once again felt the strong urge to push and the midwife told her to go for it, "every push is a step closer to holding your baby," she reminded Kate who felt the pressure build, letting out a cry as her body took over.

She looked up to Castle, her eyes gazing into his intensely, almost like she was taking the strength right out of him to jump this last hurdle. He held her gaze; his eyes telling her everything that words were unable to_ say _right now.

"It burns," she cried as she let her head drop to Castle's shoulder once more, feeling suddenly defeated, like she could no longer take the pain. It felt like it was never going to end.

"That's baby's head stretching his way out, Kate… you're doing really well, don't give up now. Remember, short pants," the midwife breathed with her, helping her along as she simultaneously waited for the baby's head to make an appearance aswell as casting glances in Kate and Castle's direction.

"He's nearly here, Kate," Alexis eagerly spoke, hoping her words would help Kate along.

"Oh shit does it burn," she cursed, she couldn't help herself as she pushed down again, wanting for this to just be _over._

"You've got this, Kate… you've got this," his words were strong and supportive, reminding her that she can get through it, that nothing can stop her.

"Baby's head is out," the midwife called, "one more push and you'll have your baby."

Kate braced herself for the last push, giving it all she had to bring her baby into the world. She gritted her teeth as she pushed for the final time, something sounding like a whimper and a groan falling from her mouth without her permission. She was practically hanging off Castle's neck as her legs suddenly felt Jelly, like they were unable to support her.

She felt the pressure release and the midwife announced, "it's a boy, congratulations."

Tears of joy and relief sprang into her eyes and she let them fall, "we have a son," she spoke softly, holding on tight to Castle's neck, his arms holding her up, keeping her steady. He was her rock, her support. Always her solid ground when things got tough.

Moments later they heard the highly anticipated cry; it filtered around the room like music to their ears. All three of them laughed a sigh of relief as they heard that wonderful noise.

"He's got a good set of lungs on him," the midwife joked as she handed Kate her son, helping her to settle back on to the bed, instructing Kate to pop open a few buttons at her chest so the baby could have skin to skin contact.

"Born at seven thirty two PM and weighing in at a healthy six pounds and four ounces." The midwife gave them a big beaming smile, "congratulations," she said to all three of them as she carried on with her routine of cleaning up and filling out paperwork.

"You did really well, Kate, you should be proud of yourself," Alexis spoke from the end of the bed where she stood watching her father with one arm around Kate, who held her brother close to her chest, both of them absolutely smitten with the beautiful baby boy.

"Thank you, Alexis," Kate looked up to where the red head was stood, "for everything," she concluded with a grateful smile lighting up her entire face, one hundred and ten percent completely in love with her little family. All the pain was worth it, and if she had to go back and do it again, she would in a heartbeat, she couldn't put into words the overwhelming need to love and protect this little life that she and Castle had created, the life she had carried for nine months and watched and felt him grow inside of her.

Yea, she'd definitely do it again, maybe in a year or two.

A girl next time? One of each.

Xxxxxx

"How about Alexander?" Alexis spoke quietly, not wanting to wake the sleeping baby in Kate's arms, looking to her dad for confirmation, knowing he would agree considering it's his own middle name.

They had tried to pick a name for weeks, but were never able to agree on one – not until he was born so they could put a face to the name.

"Alex for short?" Castle wondered as his face lit up, his eyes dancing at the prospect of his middle name being given to their child.

"I like Alex," Kate joined in, her eyes unable to move from the tiny baby in her arms.

"James for a middle name?" she smiled, now looking at Castle who was nestled up close, his eyes shining into hers full of love and pride, and everything he couldn't find the words for.

One day he will, and he'll write _their_ story, not Nikki and Rook's... maybe not from the very beginning, but starting from that night so long ago when Kate showed up on his doorstep wanting to give them a chance.

When he writes their story though, she will have a ring on her finger. If he's certain of anything in life, it's that he will marry Kate Beckett.

"After your dad," he mused, "yea, I like it," he grinned and kissed the top of Alex's head, following it up with a kiss to Kate's forehead.

Alexis shifted from the end of the bed where she was standing and placed a tender kiss to Kate's cheek before moving down to kiss the baby's head gently, a whisper of a kiss, barely even touching.

"Welcome to the world, Alexander James Castle," she whispered.


End file.
